Category Archives: Photography

It’s Not Always Easy Being a Skywalker

skywalker

The awkward physical part of me, is what people interact with.   And then there is my internal world which bleeds out into the physical through my words.

I have come to realize, this is certainly a confusing situation for everyone.

When you live life loathing the conversations about weather and the news; it seems only right and personally challenging to take those conversations and speak of them in a manner which actually reflects larger issues.

This is the curse of not being able to step into the shallow pools of existence with out some goggles and a snorkel… to get deeper than the water appears…maybe dig in the sand a little.

I have a very deep spiritual world.  I don’t see apparitions, or anything.  I don’t hear voices (very often.)  But I have always had a very divine internal guidance.

I realized this at a young age, and it has kept me challenged and annoyed.

Logic, process, sensibility, resourcefulness, and creativity are very natural attributes to my thinking.  At times I find it odd that more of humanity are not in touch with these rather insightful and useful intuitive tools.

I wish I could easily share them, as I believe it would make all of our lives easier.  Alas… I must wait.

It can be tedious walking the fine line between the Heaven and the Earth.  I do it, but it tires me at times.  And then other times it is so uplifting, and surreal.  It isn’t consistent, however.

For those who know me, please, cut through the bullshit, and get to the point.  Let us spend our time contemplating the bigger things that matter.  Because all of this stuff that we see outside the vastness ourselves… is only illusory.

Our stories should not begin and end with CNN social commentary, or Friday’s weather outlook and the extended forecast.

I want to know your personal observation of society, and how it reflects the you and me and all those infinite “I’s” out there.

I want to know the weather in your heart and mind.  I want to know why your eyes look overcast when I mention the word, ‘lost.’

We are pits, and crevasse’s, we are pools, and nebula’s of energetic equations.

We are a fabric of humanity which can not be bought or sold at the GAP.

Our laughter tickles the planet.  Upon it we are effected.

How then knowing we are starlight, and sunshine, and all the wonders of science and spirituality bound into this flesh… have we stumbled so hard

How have we become so closed minded and lost…when most amazing thing there is, is Us.

The possibilities we hold in our DNA.. the potential of every choice, the ability to change

in, an, instant.

Please, let us cut through the bullshit… we have so much left to explore

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Today I feel a change…

fireToday I feel a little bit different.  Last night I went through pounds and pounds of old papers and journals.  The things we choose to hold on to, can be astounding.  I had pages of directions for locations I have been to, disconnected numbers of old friends… even pages written by owners of notebooks that came into my possession.  Most of the writing has some heavy emotional tie to it.

As I started sifting through these remnants of the past, I was hit by how much of this emotional baggage I have been carting around for the last ten years.  I try to keep my load light just as a rule, but I was literally weighing myself down with pages and pages that had no real additive to the over all story.

So I lost about ten pounds last night.  Ten pounds of unwanted, unmissable baggage.

My dreams were even effected by my actions, and I woke up feeling lighter than I have in a while.

I know through experience that clearing out the old, makes room for the newness.  Sometimes it is an easy thing to forget, as we become attached to the objects of our desire.  But soon we are reminded of discernment and to sift through the accumulation to find what really matters.  A clear house, a clear mind.

letter to myself early 2000’s

letterTo remove myself from the impending miserable situation, i am composing this;

agreed upon this date and time

i compose this little rhyme

about a girl in a bit of a mess

a situation leaving her feeling less

boy less drama and petty woes

homeless and poor

but on her toes

….this sucks, to add to a list of woes in my life, I have forgotten how to write.  Or perhaps I have lost inspiration.  Good poetry is born of misery?  Who is reading happy poetry?  Worse yet, who writes happy poetry?

I’d be happy if I was busy.  And if I was busy, I wouldn’t have time to write poetry.

Those who are writing poetry and professing to be happy, sure must have a lot of time on their hands.

And this is some same old feeling… like I was 12 again.

Have I really matured?

How could it be that I have changed so much, if I still feel the same?

In this state of mind I am not sad about the current issue.  At this moment I am completely detached from it.

Yes, I wish things were more convenient but it really isn’t a big deal.

You have people willing to help.

The things I am so attached to, about this relationship, are not things I need.

YOU, are independent, but you are required to be more responsible.

Watch your money, and don’t get too frustrated.

None of the people willing to help you will let you spend a night with out a roof over your head.

Regardless, it is your job to get out of this situation where you need help.

And it REALLY may mean putting some things on hold for a while to get other things in order.

Besides, you have postponed certain things til this point anyway.

Things may suck, but you really don’t know, a REALLY BAD situation.  But you sure are afraid of experiencing one.

I know you think you can’t afford that right now…

First priority…make some cash.

Get out of where you are, take all graces, with gracefulness and respect.

Stay friends.  Do not burn bridges… You may not plan on crossing them again, but you sure as hell have no reason to burn the one you exited across.

Not talking for a while is not as hard as you are making it.  Just make the decision and stick to it.  Get over it, stop being so dramatic.  This is only going to be as dramatic as you make it.

You were expecting it, and you always said you would just “let it go.”

You are strong.  You don’t need the attention you are seeking.

You can handle this .  You can be calm and rational.

Better things are waiting.

If you keep freaking out, better things will never happen.

Roll with this, PLEASE!

You need a place, and a car.

Ugh, more bills?  More responsibilities?

Comes with the territory.

Where you want to be depends on the individual importance.

Enroll in instruction?

blah blah blah… programmed. ugh.

Contimplations on Flow- Sacred Water

Where are you living?

What are you doing?

spirit brain

What are your relationships?

Are you in right relation?

Where is your water?

Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.

Create your community.

Be good to each other.

And do not look outside yourself for the leader.”

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, “This could be a good time!”

“There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.

They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are torn apart and will suffer greatly.

“Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle

of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above water. And I say, see who is in there with you and

celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, Least of all ourselves. For the moment

that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

“The time for the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word struggle from you attitude and

your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

“We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”

— attributed to an unnamed Hopi elder

Hopi Nation

Oraibi, Arizona

Have you heard of my beautiful friend Water?

The innovator of the phrase “Let it Flow.”

You may have seen her, she gets around quite a bit

Oh that Sweet Water

She is quite the mover and shaker

She has friends all over , and all sorts adore her.

She came to be when her two gay Hydrogen Fathers approached their good friend Oxygen with the idea of creation

new life , beginning.

The conversation had been stirring that life had become a little to stagnant and sticky

The Hydrogens and Oxygen felt a need to let in a little flow

And despite their differences, felt a bit like innovators with their idea

It took a while to figure out a formula that worked…

But then those Hydrogen Fathers sandwiched Oxygen between themselves

And Water was born

Out of polarity came this Neutral Solvant

In a sense it was structured improvisation

All the elements working in their own way

Nature tending toward perfection

Despite how odd the occurrence, or how illogical it may seem

Within this improvisation was a creation of malleability

Water was a mischievous youth and a wonderful teacher

She has always been a fantastic imitator, with a photographic memory

She ran wild through the woods blessing all she could touch

Taking in everything it had to offer

Adding it to herself

And then moving on in her unique way

There was no boundary she could not reach beyond

Even when She was out of sight, she was still around

She traveled where ever her heart wanted to go

Growing large and vast

Connecting herself to everything she came into contact with

Leaving pieces of herself behind as to grow her ideas of prospective change

Magical adaptation

Ultimate mobility and convergence

Water was always ahead of her time

The other elements were a bit jealous of her ability to transmutate herself

Not realizing she was changing them, as she changed herself

In any situation or environment she touched

They marveled at her cooperative relationship to Temperature

And wondered at her ability to patiently weather all stages of her cycles

Even when she was at times Cold as Ice, she was still quite graceful

It was a common observation that she could be the most gentle of the elements

And also one of the most threatening.

When I was a child, my grandfather told me, “If you respect water, She will respect you; If you honor Her, she will teach you to Honor yourself.”

And when I would swim within that skin of Water, I would gently pull my arms down on her

Breaking the surface tension and submersing my self inside her

Thinking always, that she would hold me and move me along

As I grew, I became closer to Water, she enjoyed the respect and came to visit often

She would follow me on all my travels and she never complained about the weather

Except to say she thought the Desert had an unspoken grudge

Which was fine, because I rarely traveled anywhere but through the Desert to some other lush region

We talked long about the Desert, and its sense of helplessness that it disguises through resilience.

Water joked that anywhere she wasn’t allowed to hang out for too long, was no place for anyone to be

Some had accused Water of being a bit of a loiter at inconvenient times

Water knows more about this Earth and everyone on it than you could even imagine.

I suppose if she was anyone else she would be a big gossip, but actually she is a fantastic secret keeper

Water remembered every conversation, every thought, every prayer

She always knew my worries and needs

And when recognized would become the most brilliant amplifier

She absorbed every change, flowed through every integration

When others didn’t want to be like anyone else

Water was always totally herself, meaning to say

Water wanted to be EVERYONE and EVERYTHING always, and forever

Which is exactly what she is

Everything and nothing

She loves when you gaze within her shimmering eyes to see your own reflection

Because you are her, and she is you

She was born knowing that

It is her mission to share that knowledge, hence all of her worldly travels

From the tiniest blood vessel to the widest sea

She’s been there, all up in it

Sometimes she shares the beauty she has experienced through her snowflakes,

little perfect geometric shapes

Water captures prayers and praises and changes them into the most beautiful little expressions

And if you stare at the sky and attempt to catch them on your tongue

Did you know you are taking inside of yourself; someone elses prayer or affirmation as it falls back to earth.

You are sharing a piece of someone else, which has inherently been recorded and crystallized by Water?

When you bathe in water you are sitting in a collection of thoughts and experiences and eliminations.

And Water is in bliss when you finally see it for yourself

Water tells us that just as she must come, she must go

And as she gathers along her way, she must release

She reminds us that as we take time to eliminate her from our bodies, through exertion and elimination

She says it’s good to consciously get rid of old thoughts that are no longer serving us

And that it is also a process in the cycle to appreciate and honor

At times it may seem Water is stressed out by life

Angered by the sight of pain and dis-ease

And she will come wailing in from the sky hitting eyes of passers by as they run for shelter

In her seeming helter skelter

And people curse her for reigning down

Thinking, something as gentle as water should never create waves

But some days she can’t help herself. She can be a catalytic force to be reckoned with.

It would be ridiculous to think one with such a brilliant memory would remember to be gentle all the time

Think of all the pain and destruction she has seen not at her own hand

Like tears in your eyes sometimes things need to be washed away

To clean house and start over

She has shared so much of herself with us

And we have unconsciously given back so much crap

That at times it seems like she is attacking

But She, just as we, at times need to purge

What most fail to see is the lesson of our own reflection

Our willingness toward emotional pollution

Our blames and lack of solutions

Our anger at our environment and ourselves

Our desire for help

But our unwillingness to change

What if change just means perspective

Water has been teaching us the whole time that our ability to handle all of this is within our control

But we let go of our cooperation some time ago

Slowly there are those hoping to win it back

They see the potential of fluidity in humanity

They understand the plan at the hand of Water

They want her to guide us

Because she cut her own path

And she constantly goes back to Source

She learns and takes with her wherever she goes

She flows freely, changing environmentally, adding to biology

Always giving back

Constant cycles

Her consciousness is ALL of US

We can not exist with out what she has to offer

Her filing cabinet is the planet,

It is the record keeper and proof that she was here and somehow, someway made a difference

Now is our chance to share our appreciation for Water

If everyday we choose to Bless her, she will be more willing to share her secrets with us

The first secret is this, you are never far from Truth and change than when this you do

Say, “Water, Great recorder keeper, Great Transmutator, Blessed Giver of Life

I honor You, I thank you! I love you, for you are the cutter of the path, the source of moisture to the Earth, Vapor of the Rainbows, A silent White morning Evident in our Sky

You flow around me, through me, and back to the Earth

Constantly changing , and yet always staying in some form

Water, I bless you, I honor you

Thank you Great Teacher

I walk in the path of respect for You”

Thank her daily, and her secrets will seep inside of you

One must ask first for her knowledge

It is part of sacred development to learn to ask for it

And then to be willing to receive what She has to offer

She teaches her lessons many ways, and one must not judge it with any sense of duality

Water is not good or bad

She is what she is.

The reflection of the observer

Blessed to have her as a Great Teacher

Always blessed to be her Student

But this too is perspective,

Water has been known to manipulate change in the perspectives of others

The difference is in the conscious realization

Which is when she says to you “let it flow. Just let it go and ride with it.

Take a deep breathe, keep your eyes open and drop off the edge

Get really, really wet

Don’t fight the current, watch out for obstruction

Use your body, mind and soul

Together

That is the function

Have confidence

You CAN handle this.”