I just don’t want to be some one Else’s next broken heart.
The starting and stirring of new love,
snuffs the realization that those fates dominate our existence.
One box to the next of those secrets kept of old lovers
those letters sitting untouched and unseen
But beginnings dream is like dopamine as we sigh doe eyed at one another
promising our future tomorrows, to one another
The chemical reaction so volatile
synapses fire while neglecting reception
this is a common direction of a fast relation
as our pupils sit in dilation
we neglect to recognize our previous distraction
So is the direction of love
Where do the chemicals begin to soften skin and eyes
Denying what once seemed far from right
into a desirable ride
Allowing strangers to collide on foreign roads
and still I know I do not want to be
some one elses’ next heart break
Cause I’ve been raking my own fallen leaves of esteem
breeding, bleeding hearts
and feeling broken apart by the fleeting flame of love
Always wishing I was above all of this
but then the next sweetest kiss comes
and I’ve gone from intellectual
to emotional effectual
stranded in a technical state of being
Foreign to the current me
and as the falling begins I spin down corridors of the past
accepting and rehashing whilst still reacting in some of those same old ways
I thought I’d paid these dues
used all those excuses and I know you see through them
remnants of your own folly and adventure
Both swearing we’ve never had anything
Quite like this
in it’s unique way
and still unknowingly we are playing that same old game
The one that leads to blame and sorrow
Looking at borrowed moments but this is just
the pessimist within
because I know I am the best me there’s ever been
Admittedly I fluctuate from highs to lows
Who knows how fast
Not that you should be the sinner to pay for sinners before you
It’s just easy to do when your a bottler
Maybe I blame it on my father
Whose hearts chaos caused riots inside a struggling mind
a failing heart, broken apart
by LOVE
So when I say I hate you
it’s because I see potential and that hurts
it’s worse than cutting myself
it means I have subliminally asked for help
and received
it’s the fact that parts of me refuse to believe magic
and some how knowing deeper that shit works
Still caught in the turmoil
Of why the things we start fall apart so quickly
was it a flaw in the line of questioning?
Or perhaps questions left unasked
Have we previously been doomed
to fail the task of purely living
and being caught in reeling confusion
of revelation
always mimicking syncopation in a partner
who only pretends to reflect our own beat
do we fool ourselves into thinking we are some one else
for the sake of love left determined by the mainstream
do we dream based off off reality TV
and the drama it preaches to unstable minds
Redefining ourselves by our peers left to their 15 minutes
whilst still waiting are ego-less souls
So no
neither of us are cut from the normal fiber
and we both struggle while under the wire
and beyond the deadline of living
still spinning a web of juvenile-adult-child reference
at times making no sense
for the sake of love
a concept seemingly so graspable
passing through comprehension
beating ourselves up repetivivly
over the same old lessons we all suffer to assimilate
This time for the sake of broken hearts
the lesson of love
less than smooth
but integrity on it course
i force myself to longer yearn,
rather this time i choose to learn.
for once i ask to burn with truth
Perhaps Undeserving
blurbing my own life like lines in a magazine
thinking the editorial is just right
and I should give up the fight
cause I am losing
Stepping up
my heart takes the bruising
as my knuckles are baby soft
I have been rocked from inside out
No doubt caught off guard with my pants down
Now what to do?
Because I don’t want to cause broken hearts
i don’t want to be broken hearted