I can’t stop thinking… or feeling that there is something bigger that I am missing. Something BIGGER than the biggest big I could conceptualize. Everyday the search begins again. Little pieces to the bigger puzzle, leaving me empowered and confused. Addicted to the search. I have gained so many new tools in my stability that I have started to feel that rumble and shake inside telling me to move on and use this newly acquired knowledge.
I received some cash today for art. I put it in a thin necked Vodka bottle. It is harder to get it out that way. I want 500 to travel with. What is 500 bucks? Nothing. Bills in a bottle. I am almost a tenth of the way there. Not bad. Should be easy enough. I make it harder with its easy accessibility. I have to set up my own boundaries. That too should be easy enough as I seem to set some sort of boundary for myself on a daily basis. Not even the good kind. No doubt as I tackle the task of breaking the boundaries I will be learning new skills of survival.
I live very much in a now and present future oriented mindset. I aquire what I need in the moment as a way of confirming my energy in work… I think I am in the surplus. This excites me, I just yet have not seen the total fruits of my labor. This should be exciting fruition.
I have not yet traveled as much as I would have liked, to the distances I have hoped to see. This will be a future manifestation when I finally have something tangible to offer. But what is this; all these journals and pictures? Is that not tangible? Sure but it is the old journey and I am in the drivers seat for something new. I am a pioneer who has yet to pick their path for the destination.
I ask inspiration to guide me into uncharted water. I want to ride the current to a place few find because they fight the flow. Getting caught up in a cove somewhere so close to paradise. Always wondering the great “what if?” (Something I refuse to suffocate from.)
This acquisition of comfort is such a gift. I have all I need and more in this moment, but I need more movement to balance this fixture of roots. I am ready to dive deep and move forward in flow.
I ask that I am offered support, and that I be willing to accept it when it is fulfilling for everyone involved. This is truly and exciting journey.