Myocardial abscess is a suppurative (pus-containing) infection of the myocardium, endocardium, native or prosthetic valves or perivalvular structures, or the cardiac conduction system. In this serious and life-threatening disease, early recognition and institution of appropriate medical and surgical therapy is necessary for patient survival.
In the past, most cases of myocardial abscess were discovered at autopsy. The very first report, published in 1933, was an autopsy report by Cossio and colleagues that involved the finding of a pneumococcal abscess in the region of infarcted myocardial tissue as a complication of bronchopneumonia.  Several more such cases were reported later, suggesting that myocardial abscess often occurs in the setting of septicemia and abscesses in other locations. Myocardial abscess can now be detected antemortem using various noninvasive diagnostic modalities. –Emedicine
As I break myself apart in the construct of layers, I experience physical maladies; driving my attention to what most would go to a doctor to assess and diagnose, and treat. I have experienced many physical pains that have gone undiagnosed by the construct of Western medicine. And each feeling expresses itself until it disappears. Whether or not it is really gone, or that I have adapted to its presence and therefore has become ignored or in-note worthy is of no real consequence.
I am playing this game in a different way and it really isn’t for anyone else to decide how I play it, so long as I do not impede on others in the process. So this body, and this mind are but a small experiment in the greater whole. Take what you want and leave the rest.
Everyone is interested in “hacks.” “Life Hacks”, specifically. And we appreciate those easy, resourceful, hopefully time saving tid bits that can help stream line a complicated life.
The first life hack, is uncomplicated things. Things are only as complicated as we make them. When one is able to remove their own controllable complications, everything runs a bit more smooth. If each person uncomplicated themselves, we would have a nicely oiled and function social engine. Sadly, people convince themselves that they love and thrive off of drama or complication, and it one worn out battery can compromise the whole function of one machine. One rusty gear can muck up the timing of all the other parts.
The next Life Hack is “figuring out your function.” You can’t be everything to everyone, all of time; BUT you can figure out how to best function being you in the present. The present is ever changing, and so are you. Give yourself the permission to be adaptable. Remember, you learned to be YOU in many situations and steps, amongst various people.
Say your name is “Joe”. Joe is a grandson, a son, a brother, a cousin, a nephew, a boy, a student, a child, an athlete, a human, a science nerd, a lover of animals, a boy scout, a volunteer… etc.
The Essence of Joe shows up no matter the role. The essence of Joe is Life and Creation. Joe makes choices to honor that in himself and others, or to simply not do that. Each time Joe decides not to honor Creation and Life in himself and others, he corrodes himself and thereby creates kinks or malfunctions in the over all function.
Our world is systematically gunked up by bad decisions leading to faulty action… and it builds up over time as a spiritual Myocardial Abscess.
I would assess that if your heart doesn’t hurt to some degree, these days, then you probably don’t have one.
It feels like a hand on your heart. Not like your own hand, and not like being fondled. It feels like some one else laying their hand on your heart in a meaningful way, but there is also this pressure and it feels like passion or like urgency.
It doesn’t go away.
Maybe you are like, “Oh, Madge, you should just go get a breast exam.”
Because that makes sense right? Because going to get a diagnosis can change your own personal direction… but if you heal without looking inside, on all the levels, what have you really accomplished?
This too shall pass. You also will pass. But how will you handle the discomfort in the mean time? Will you dig into it, or leave the healing to some one else? Will you explore its greater relevance or leave it to circumstance? Will you take responsibility for any of it? Will you seek more than a remedy?
I am feeling my heart abscess from the inside out. I am feeling the pressure of Creation upon my chest. I am asked to look at the pockets of puss I have accumulated over time, that are now looking to bust free from their calcified chambers. Those secret pockets of disdain, buried deeply beneath the friendly façade. The core of this human condition.
I’ve felt this infection course through my veins like a cancer settling in each organ waiting to be acknowledged and eradicated by my complete presence. I’ve been asked to look at the various ways dysfunction and disease can manifest, even in healthy, almost carefree situations. I am drawn to see the bigger picture of these manifestations.
Some people are under the belief system that people are a cancer or a parasite on the Earth; it could be easy to reach this conclusion with a negative mindset. Some people believe that we are going to destroy ourselves and the Earth… this too is easy to conclude when looking at the negativity prevalently showcased in our media.
When we look upon humanity as a cancer, or a parasite, we demonize the function of the whole. We wonder why the world is the way it is, without taking accountability for ourselves. We see the misdeeds and degradation as something outside ourselves as we daily indulge in our own poisons of mind and body and spirit. We justify it, because our body is our own to do with as we wish. We do not view ourselves as temples. We grapple with our own self worth and settle in the ditches amongst the trash by choice. We are fed and reinforced by this state of unworthiness. In turn we train our children to disregard themselves even more than we do by example.
The cycle continues. Occasionally one of these abscess’ will expel themselves on their own. Pushing out their own infection and leaving it in the open for all to see. And we will turn in disgust, unable to see that this purge is necessary for healing to occur; that all of the bad must be extracted, so that new healthy growth can prevail.
If the infection isn’t totally removed, it’s likely to reoccur. Remission is a false safety, when old habits die hard. By choice we re-infect ourselves.
May Creation lay a heavy hand on your heart, so that you may purge all that holds you back, or down. May your heart be cleared and made anew for healthy growth.