The weather is warming up- and the yard is calling!
Journey Oroborus Wonderdawg has now been in my care for four months, and she is even more amazing every day!
I was reading a post I made last November- about all the dogless moments that were hitting me hard, and it’s crazy to think that so much has happened since the end of last August- but really it is only notable in my little sphere. It probably isn’t profound to anyone else.
I guess to explain a little bit- it is the insights that have befallen me through my sadness and “rebirth” through Journey. Journey truly represents a change inside of myself that is hard to articulate- it wasn’t something missing- it was something that had yet to be awakened but was there all along. Like epigenetics and cultivation, I just needed the right circumstances to enliven something dormant.
I have become more patient, more understanding- attributes I wanted to strengthen but had a hard time controlling and would guilt myself to extremes in regard to; suddenly became effortless as the synthesis of past experience unfolded into a new awakening.
Claddagh and Journey have given me a calmative understanding and awareness. I am conscious of all the ways I was wrong to Claddagh- and I refuse to repeat the pattern with Journey. Journey knows the spirit of Claddagh, they are married within me, and through that devotion our relationship shifts in dimensions. I become a better soul than I was before, and I can feel and see that happening.
It may sound strange- but I really don’t “miss” Claddagh. I continue to experience her every day through Journey because their personalities are so interconnected, there is no room for feeling loss. They are in no way replicas of one another, but they are very much “the same” and the comfort that comes from that is profound in my opinion.
I can compare it to having a few close friends in a place and then moving away and finding new friends who have certain quirks and traits that very akin to friends from the other place. Personality types are drawn to each other and it is a way that we find our “tribes.”
These days, my tribe is mainly my little fur family along with my Uncle and Gma. Every day the humans in my tribe get to see the value and vastness of animal personality and the way it adapts with us. When I am in the yard, and my animals follow me around, I feel like Snow White or something similar. They come when I call, they sing with me, they see me digging in the dirt and they want to help. If that isn’t Spiritual, or Magic- then I don’t know what is.
One of the most profound things to settle down in me through all this transition is facing one simple and “gross” thing- We have to deal with our shit. Not just personally, we have to deal with the shit of others- and the question is, how do we do that? No one wants to deal with shit, but it is a part of life, and if for some reason you don’t have to deal with shit on some level, there is a big problem because it is essential to eliminate waste. If we neglect that fact, things can get extra rancid.
I am cleaning up shit, every. Single. Day. More than once a day, for someone other than myself. And for a while, it would trigger a wave of deep anger and resentment.
“Why me? Why do I have to do this? I already have to clean up for myself.”
Well- I chose this path. Sometimes we choose paths because they appear to have the least resistance, but as we wander that path we realize it may reach a sort of “dead end” which really just means that we have to clear some things out of the way in order to proceed. You have to do the work, or wander around looking for another path… either way it is work and resource.
Journey came to me damaged, which means I need to use all of my knowledge and resources to assist in her healing. By doing so, I am reminded of my own depth of knowledge and it becomes easier to enact that knowing through action because I am driven to assist those who have a hard time assisting themselves- so brilliantly and obvious is this reflection of purpose in co-existence.
How blessed am I? Infinitely so in my humble opinion. A certain sense of joy is becoming alive inside of me that I haven’t felt in what seems like a millennium.