years no nearer

Today my brother would have been 26. Today I feel restless. Like a hug just isn’t enough and a beer is a momentary lust hanging over my head.
There are miles to travel, smiles I yearn to follow, but for some reason, I just can’t. I am having an emotional panic attack, and if I look back I find myself feeling defeat. These are old streets I use to travel with my beloved, now I never talk to him.
Why am I swirling in this pool of reminiscence, it only adds to the senseless memories I have accrued. They are bits and pieces not adding up, they are like salty tears in a cup last seen empty.
I need retail therapy, I need fresh air… but a standstill is at hand, directionless winds are blowing again.

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