the past, rehash

I have no regrets but upon looking back there are things I would do different. I would appreciate myself more in order to see the appreciation others had for me. I would push myself harder to be social and kind, because lord knows, at times I haven’t been kind enough.
I would have communicated more often, more clearly, saying what I mean and meaning what I say, verses beating around the bush, creating drama when there was no need.
I would have loved with more passion when the situation called for action, I would have respected myself with boundaries and strength.
If I knew then, what I know now I would have the confidence to keep on track with my needs instead of leaving my own path for the sake of another.
Learning to let go would have served me well, sadly it is a slow process of realizing what is worth detaching from, and what is necessary for reasons of the heart and soul.
I would have known despair without the experience just with the sense of knowing… but despair has allowed me a growth within.
All of it necessary, but the perfectionist in me, wishes there could have been another way to learn these lessons…Now its the struggle of assimilation and movement forward. I am ready to excel, I just pray I recognize opportunity when she shows her face.

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