It’s easy to under appreciate the ability to live in such a free way. To travel with no short leash; to allow time to be what it is with no push-me-pull-you attitude. Lose the watch, leave when your heart tells you to go, write down memorable moments and tid-bits of wisdom… share some stories along the way. Allow a strangers help and compassion in a vulnerable moment, knowing not why they want to to help, but knowing it must be one of those lessons in growing as a human.
I need to quit referring to this adventure as being “stuck.” I realize the most stuck place I can get, is in my own head. There is a movement of energy each time I step forward, if mindlessness prevails, nothing but confusion awaits; mindful to truth, I arrive to Truths door every time.
My history of celebrating during the holiday season is almost nonexistent. I want to do something, but not the normal thing. Mai-tai’s while sitting next to warm blue waters, would be nice.
The holiday approaches and I am stepping forward, not mindlessly, but directionless. I have spent worse times brooding on Christmas day… This year I do not seek to brood, or moan; rather I want to experience the holiday in a new way, maybe through the eyes of someone else.
I am joyful that I am living and that I have the companionship of my lovely Claddagh… I only require more stability in the coming days. It’s time to pull the journals out again, and to explore the whimsy of words. To recollect the weird ties I have made in recent years. The pages ask me to see where I have been and what I have become, and to ultimately decide if it is good enough. In knowing it will be an unending process of refinement.
I am ready to refine and redefine in safety, security, warmth, and humor.