Category Archives: Art

Buffer Zone part 1

Listen, I’m no one and that is a good thing.  You don’t “need” to know me.

I’m like a log, or a well established area of moss.   This isn’t about me.  It’s about you, and me, and “this” and then how you process that information for the forward trajectory while trudging forward.

I think it sounds pretty basic, but I hear that there is some unperceived complexity that exists that is unseen by veterans; and  some of these newbs are really throwing an unexpected glitch into the game.  The  realistic nature of this conflict is unavoidable, so I am sure life is going to get even more complicated and interesting. I just attempt to keep the balance.

Seems like a crazy task when the table has one leg, but the memo said “This is your job.”   So what was I going to do?  Not show up?  Nah, man.  I knew shit was going to get weird. Instinctively I wore cargo shorts.     I had to face the fact the next journey was all about storage and flexibility.

Pocket 1:  Eight Energy/ Nutrition Bars. One Emergen-C   6 Peanut butter and Chocolate Naked Bars(my favorite.)  Two random bars no one wants. One packet of grapefruit Emergen-C.   (Label pocket #1 Delicious Last Resort.)

Pocket 2:  Two used paper towels; strip club match book, coupon for store brand *ish*, a clump of tissue discarded,( unused but crumpled tissues  from Grammy and half of one peanut butter and cheese cracker/  (Label pocket #2 Worst Case Scenario.)

Pocket 3: Dead phone.  (Label pocket #3 Death.)

*Reassure yourself of the four spare pockets and rename Pocket 4:Hope, immediately name Pocket #5 “Resilience.” Transition some contents from previous pockets to new homes.

Find a good hiding place for your whole body  and rest for the night.  Tomorrow, has a plan to kick your ass in a prompt and swift way.  You are going to have to be smart in your execution… and yeah, something may die. Hopefully it is your/my bad attitude.

Cura Te Ipsum

“Cura Te Ipsum”- Latin for “Heal Thyself.”

What does it actually mean, does it require a physician, or a professional and is it possible to do in this damaged world?

In this “New Age” there are plenty of people claiming to be healers. There are a variety of modalities that these healers use to get desired results.  Most practitioners are led or drawn to a specific modality at first and may add more to their repertoire over time as it appears no one modality covers all of the healing bases.

Why would that be?

What if I were to tell you that you don’t need a physician, you don’t need an outside healer- all you need is yourself and some patience?  What if I were to theorize to you, that these modalities are only a fraction of the whole being, initiated by an outside source which is a fraction of the whole, and that it is you alone- yourself; that is the only thing needed as a representation of the totality of the whole and the only one who needs to be present in initiating the healing?

I may be worrying some practitioners out there; afraid I might put them out of a job.

I find healing to be problematic as a “job” that works within the exchange of money or career; for healing is the most free gift we are given in physicality. It is so free, in fact, that it isn’t “second nature”, it’s just Natural.  Source energy is abundant, and healing is the most natural function of the body.  They key, is to figure out how to connect to that energy yourself, and bring it into you.   (Note, this doesn’t equal living forever, it correlates to longevity and mitigation of problematic symptoms while expanding awareness to cause an effect beyond the physical level.)

You can choose to take an hour and $50.00 out of your day to allow someone else to initiate the healing, or you can learn how to do it yourself and commit to taking an hour out of your day to do it.  You can also hone in on when you need it most; essentially adding a new tool to your personal rejuvenation routine.
Let’s look at some etymology before we settle down into learning how to make this connection.  I want to look at the etymology because it tells us where these words began to take meaning, their early definitions may be quite distorted from their modern common usage.   I find that getting to the root of all things, makes the view much clearer.

Let’s start with the word “physician.”  In today’s world, if asked what the word means, most would answer with “doctor.”  However when we look at the etymology of “physician” it leads us back to the early thirteenth century “fisicien” “healer or medical practitioner.”   Twelfth Century Modern French “physicien” originates from “fisique”  meaning “art of healing.”

Here we can see that a doctor is indeed a type of physician, just as a Reiki healer is also a physician.   This brings me to the phrase “Physician Heal Thyself.”

If you focus on healing, you are the physician.  And you should work on yourself, before you work on others.  But working on oneself is a life time task, so why are physicians working on other people when they have plenty on their own plate?  How has the exchange of an abundant, ever infinite energy being co-opted for money?  Strange right?

Let’s look at the etymology of the verb “heal”,  Old English  hælan”, literally means “cure; save; make whole, and well.”  We all have the power to heal, some of us heal faster than others given the condition.  The truth of the matter: you are the physician, you know the ailments better than anyone, and only you can bring yourself back into wholeness by directly accessing the Greater Wholeness.

Now when we reexamine the phrase “Physician Heal Thyself”, we can see it with new eyes.  It’s no longer an axiom left for doctors and surgeons- quite the opposite in fact; it leaves room for anyone interested in the art of healing themselves, personally.

You must be getting anxious now to get to the meat of the matter, but before we get there we need to take some time to discuss the reality of “Mind over Matter.”

New Age/ Modality healers are in awareness of vibrations, and that everything, every person, and every emotion exists on a vibrational plane.  Some of these vibrations are more noticeable than others; for instance, it can feel like an obvious vibration shift when someone walks into a room with an exceptionally high or low emotional state.  These things can be felt before they are ever seen.

(Anecdotally- I am incredibly sensitive to “dramatic” vibrations.  I can feel them coming from miles away.  This ability to perceive has kept my life fairly drama-free for well over a decade.)

If drama, or a bad attitude can bring forth a perceivable vibration, why wouldn’t disease do the same thing? And in turn, why wouldn’t healing be a vibration of it’s own.  Furthermore, if we can work ourselves into disease, why wouldn’t we be able to work ourselves out of it?

Modern context of the word “disease” would often be seen as something fatal, congenital, or incurable.  Perhaps even uncontrollable- a death sentence.

Early context of the word “disease”  meant dis-ease- “discomfort,inconvenience, distress, trouble.”  Nothing in the earlier meanings signifies a death sentence or something irreparable.

So, if you don’t need a doctor, or a healer outside of yourself, and disease is purely an inconvenient discomfort, everything sounds far more manageable than the stress that can arise from having to go in for your yearly physical.

Our modern world has weaponized words in order to create a fearful/stressful vibration; these vibrations are destructive to the many layers of vibrations that we exist within mentally, spiritually and physically.  When we are able to wrap our minds around ourselves as a whole existing within a whole, with infinite connection to the Whole- we can then wrap our minds around our own abilities within that great company.

Let’s look at misconceptions about healing.

  1. Healing takes a long time.

It would be more correct to say that “Healing is an ongoing process.”  Nothing stays in stasis for too long.  In a vibrational reality, we are constantly oscillating between the high and low vibrations.  Most of us stay within a personal standard range, at times being pulled higher than normal, or sinking lower than normal.  This can be caused by our environment and surrounding company, it can also be directed in a psychic sense.  I should add that there is also the frequency that is emanated by the Whole of Source, which allows all of humanity to shift into new frequencies as the world evolves.   Make note, the Whole Frequency is what we will be tuning into for healing because it holds all frequencies, so it holds the problem and the solution.  Lucky for you, you were born attached to All That Is And Will Ever Be.

Now, what about that little condition you want to heal?  Is that going to take a long time?  It depends.  Jack and Jill could both get a paper cut.  Jack might naturally heal in a day, and Jill could bleed to death because she has anemia and her blood doesn’t clot.  Yet when we become aware of using the Whole Frequency, the playing field is even.  As you attune to the Whole Frequency, you will get better at using it and the stronger it will come to you when you choose to spend time with it.

2. “There is no cure for….”

Within the Whole, there is a cure for everything.  You need not even believe in it, as much as you need to take the time to explore it.  That’s it.  You can do this being a skeptic, however you will never think it works, if you never try.

“So, if I can do this as a skeptic, what do I need in order to do this?”

Simply put-  You need yourself and the intention.  That is it.  You have to intend to heal.  You have to want that for yourself enough to take the time to do a rather easy and relaxing process.   If you are good at mental visualization it will be even easier to do.  Time is of the essence.  How often do we make excuses not to do, what we would actually like to do?  Probably more often than we would like to admit.  Just give yourself permission to take the time, honestly that will be the biggest hurdle.

Now, before we go any further, I need to make a disclaimer that this theorized technique isn’t going to spring my 91 year old grandma into youthfulness, or even make her immortal.  We each have a clock/contract for our time here on Earth and the relationship that you have to your clock/contract and the Whole Frequency is incredibly personal.  This will not save everyone from Deaths door, but it can assist in making the transition easier on the current physical self and those who care for your welfare.

Full disclosure, I am not a medical professional nor am I certified in any New Age healing modalities.  I was born knowing that we were able to heal ourselves, and the drive to learn more about that was catalyzed by the death of my mother when I was four years old.  She was twenty six and died of Ovarian Cancer.  I grew up with a mission to figure out Mind Over Matter, and the key to healing ourselves without outside assistance.

Some of the techniques I use are very similar to guided meditations.  Guided meditations can be hard for certain people to get into because they don’t resonate with the imagery being presented. The awesome thing about Whole Frequency, is when you choose play with it, you have the ability to modify it to your own need while using your own catalog of imagery to assist you in the process.

Healing is an incredibly personal thing.  Think about the people who try to hide their illness out of embarrassment or being seen as weak.  Imagine a healing regimen that you can do everyday as therapy or maintenance that will cost you nothing more than time out of your day.  A personal time dedicated to self care that requires little movement and can be done while laying down or sitting at a desk.

Could it be true?

Based on my own experiences, I think so.

My story starts before I was born.  My mother’s father was raised as a Christian Scientist.  Christian Scientists do not subscribe to Western Medicine and are of the staunch belief that if you were meant to be healed, God would heal you by faith alone.  My grandfather would loosen up on his beliefs as an adult but I believe he still held on to CS faith.  Further back in our linage his family can be traced back to Druidic occultism.  You may say my destiny to explore these ideas is clearly archived in my DNA and all it would take  to trigger my curiosity, would be experiencing the death of my mother at a young age, catalyzing the journey that would lead me to write this information that needs to be shared.

At a very young age I was picking up on the vibrations that people emanated out of a survival instinct.  It was much to my benefit to know when to tread lightly, and when there was much being said but not through words.

I come from a family of “bottlers”- people who stuff their emotions down, left to ferment until it explodes.  As a communicator, this never sat well with me; this discontent would serve me in my exploration on healing, because we must enter healing with a full honesty with ourselves.  It can be easier to be honest with ourselves, than it is to be honest with a doctor.

“How many cigarettes do you smoke a day.” – Uhhh, I would rather not say…  “only three.”

We go to doctors, hoping they can heal us, and yet they don’t have all the “information”, nor do they have all the Information.   You, on the other hand, DO have all the information/ Information, inside of yourself.  With only a fraction of the information, you only get a fraction of the potential healing/ insight. When we are honest with ourselves, and we consider all of our personal information, we allow a gateway to open that will intuitively guide us to multidimensional healing.

When we choose to seek medical attention we choose to allow our will to be manipulated by a soul influence outside of ourselves.  We decide to give our own power to another person with a degree.  At the same time, when we do that we kick in a certain amount of a placebo effect.   If you believe doctors heal, and you rely on them, the moment you call that office for an appointment, your white blood cells kick into high gear in at tempt to crush invaders.

Why does this happen?  Is it because we are ashamed to be weak, so we must try and heal before the dictator of illness casts their diagnosis?  Or, is because we are so powerful with potential, but no one told us how to harness and direct that potential?

I don’t know, but I think we can go on a fun exploration on that premise alone.

My first experience with healing would happen when I was approximately fifteen years old while at church camp.  I was well known for having strong hands, but a delicate touch as I would give hand and back massages to anyone who asked politely.  I simply love making people feel better and I am naturally attuned to touch specifically for that purpose.

Sometime mid week during the camp, one of the boys on my devotional team approached me and said, “My mom has had to be in traction for her neck a few hours everyday for over a year.  She really can’t move her head left or right.  Would you be willing to rub her neck and back?”

“Of course!”  I said, and I went over and rubbed her head, neck, shoulders and back for about a half hour, after which to my surprise, she started crying because she could finally move her head from side to side again.

I was shocked, and pleased.  This was the first time I saw massage as something more powerful than just a nice feeling.  I saw it akin to laying on of hands.  That there was a potent mystery emitting from my extremities.

I would continue to massage friends through high school as I searched for literature that would help me understand the actual elements at work during healing.   This is when I was exposed to the work of Barbara Brennan and her book Hands of Light.  I was most impressed with Brennan’s work because she moved from working in astrophysics with NASA, to teaching her own healing modality.  I admired the presentation because she was able to explain the frequencies of healing in a way that I could understand.

One of the things she stated in the book was, whether the healer was a Christian Faith Healer; a Reiki practitioner,  Wicca healer, or anyone else with the intention to initiate healing on others-  the frequency emitting from their hands was all the same across the board.  Belief system played no influence on the frequency when it was tested with various subjects.

The curiosity on this topic led me to enroll in Massage Therapy School at the age of nineteen.   Somewhat ignorant of the world, I found myself in the San Francisco Bay Area for school.

I’m going to be honest; once enrolled in massage school, it wasn’t resonating with me.  I could sense a major conflict of internal politics and the schools motto.  I found it awkward to get almost naked with class members for practice.  Once we began clinic practice I had a situation with a client that would ultimately catalyze my decision to drop out.

There wasn’t anything incredibly out of the ordinary with this client other than they were a ball of chaotic, angry energy.  (Yeah, no wonder she wanted a cheap massage.)  The school hadn’t really focused much on “grounding” ones energy, and since I had never had any problems before, I didn’t expect what happened next.

About twenty minutes into the massage, I passed out.  I noticed the tunnel vision setting in, and I eased my way to floor and blacked out for a couple of minutes.  Needless to say, that woman actually felt really bad about me passing out, when I really expected her to complain.  What I came to realize later, is that I had sucked some of that negative energy out of her and taken it into myself, and because I wasn’t grounded or connected to Whole Frequency, it knocked me down and out- it had no where else to go, I was a closed circuit.

I became hesitant to touch strangers after that, occasionally I would give it a chance; I quickly came to realize that not everyone wants an innocent massage which sealed the deal for me.  I would be very discretionary about energy exchange, and would only move forward with it if I knew the person well enough to gauge their energy at the time I was asked to work on them.  I began setting the boundaries for energy work that leads me to today.

Therapeutic touch is a real thing, and I am sure I could use some- however I am very, very wary of other people touching me, especially self proclaimed, certified healers.  You may wonder why?  I do not trust that other healers are always in the right space to be doing the work, just like I was unprepared to black out during that clinic.   When a person turns healing into a “job” or a means of employment, they are “on schedule.”  A practitioner may wake up one day and not being feeling well themselves, but they still have to show up and honor the appointment, if they don’t they can seem flaky.  As a client, you trust your practitioner to be right with themselves and the Whole, so they can channel that healing.  This is where we may see flaws in the healing we expect or desire.

Think of a game of telephone, where you whisper a phrase to the person next to you and then they pass it down the line to the next person.  Even by the second person, the message can get distorted.  By the time you reach the feed back loop the message has degraded significantly.  This is how I liken outside healers.  They have their own thing going on.  They have their own focus and intention.  They can think they are channeling Full Source Full Spectrum, but they aren’t.  You can compare this to having to use an adapter to plug a three prong plug into into a two hole outlet.   That adapter creates a slight disruption in the flow of energy as well as decrease in the amperage moving out ward, which actually causes a requirement of more energy to try and push through as a compensation.  The more adapters we put in between the source and the input, the more we degrade that frequency.

This is another reason I refuse to engage in Community Energy Shares.  If you have no idea what is going on in there, you can walk away drained or overly energized.  Community Energy Shares are a great place for energetic vampires to suck the energy out of unsuspecting people.  So let’s cut out the middle man, right?

Over the years I would continue to read literature about healing and frequency.  Often times these revelations of things  would come as intuitive insights, not gleaned from books or other healers.  I very much backed away from involvement in healing communities, though many of my friends have paid healing practices.  I don’t believe I have expressed to any of them how I feel about the matter, and no one has ever asked me directly why I never participate when invited to classes, certification courses and energy shares.

I have one friend that I did a couple of trades with, for art.  She offered Reiki as the trade.  I never took her up on the Reiki, instead I gifted the sessions to people with a strong interest in checking it out.  My friend never asked me why I didn’t take a session for myself, I suppose if she would have asked I would have told her the philosophy I have been developing from my personal experience.

For some reason, I don’t think my healing friends will appreciate this writing for the aforementioned reason that it might cut into their business.  I would like to express that I would hope that wouldn’t be the case, but one never knows.  If we take a new perspective on it, the more of us that learn to heal ourselves and share of those techniques freely, the more we will be able to open ourselves up for even more extraordinary exploration of ourselves, the world and the layered cake of frequency that holds it all together.

Imagine self healing becoming a daily routine like brushing your teeth, or tying your shoes.   Something that becomes such a second nature that you don’t have to think very hard about it, you simply have to take the time to do it.  A tool that you can share with your children at a young age, when they are already receptive to the multidimensional world.  It wouldn’t just be life changing, it would be world changing.

Now, what would happen to all those paid healers, who ultimately self define as a healer and put themselves into that box as a career?  They get the freedom to explore new ways of utilizing their energy; as they tap into the Whole Frequency, their eyes see opportunity in new ways, and the definition of “making a living” or having a “job” changes shape and quality.

Perhaps in the next instillation we will  go to : “Let us discuss Whole Frequency in terms of light.”

I don’t have merch.  I write, and give freely.  If you feel like tossing me some shillings in thanks, there is a paypal donation button on my homepage.  If you want to read more about healing or anything else I may or may not have written about… let me know.  This is my blog page and I am not obligated to share anything, but I will share if engaged with on a congenial level.  If you want me to write/comment on things, here I am.  Make yourself known.

 

 

 

Know Them

I walked into the square, where the people were divided on either side.  Malice in their eyes as they stared across at their supposed adversaries.

We were called to a meeting of the collective, which meant a period where separation was put on the back burner and we gathered together despite disagreement or dissent.

These meetings are not common, though it seems these day they are on the rise.   We are only called when the motion will impact both communities.  Basically, it’s a debrief that the rules have changed, and if we choose to ignore the memo, consequence is dire.

I’ve been attending these meetings for approximately 100 life times.  I’ve attended at every age and in every state of mind.  I’ve changed sides more than once, only to end up where I began.   Every time a meeting is called, I arrive with a hope that this is the last one in this dimension.

There was a sincere sense of anticipation and agitation among the crowd.  The collective air was akin to rousing a person from a deep sleep in the early morning, maybe only hours after they had settled in to rest.

I’d been up for hours, and so my desire to move it all along was evident in my opinion.

This messages representative was a mixture of child-like and foreboding.  Like a giant baby that could crush you with a look of innocence, or literally kill you by stepping upon your tiny little head.  I knew that they sent these type of representatives to create a new layer upon the other layer.  Of course a giant baby will create cognitive dissonance, but a Giant Baby that CAN AND MIGHT DESTROY YOU, just created a new richness to the mental conundrum already presenting itself.

In my head, I thought ” what the hell is it today?”

The giant baby took to the middle of the square and gave a little giant cough.  It adjusted itself.  The pupils in it’s eyes went to constrict into tiny dots and then immediately readjusted to dilation, a large dilation taking up nearly all the color of the iris.

Of course I saw how cartoonish it all looked, but I couldn’t look away.  Those large pupils drew me in and I was ready for the most current updates and messages about my evolving community, these downloads always proved to be detrimental.  In no way could I expect to hear what came as our update.

“Free Will and Free Manipulation are in Full Effect.  If you choose to pursue provocation in Free Will, you accept the contract of Manipulation and the playing field is leveled.  You can choose to play or sit on the sidelines.  All energy counts. Intentions can be doubled, tripled or quadrupled depending on Manipulation and Will in tandem.  The stakes are increased for those who are not in tandem. This is the final game, the final rounds. May the strongest survive to share their stories and technique.   Until we meet again, The Evolution has begun.”

My brain and heart were in full blast.  I don’t know why I hadn’t considered this possibility but, I skimmed over it because that is how impossible it seemed.  I looked into the eyes of those around me, and those across the square.  Would I play the game or would I play observer on the sidelines?  Could I play both roles?  Shit.  Could I play ALL of the roles?   Only time would tell,  and by the look of growing panic I was sure that my need to decide would be initiated in three… two… one…

The square would be the initial zone of destruction. Friends and neighbors began to turn on one another. I knew that the only way to survive, was to escape and let them destroy themselves.  I needed supplies and a place of retreat in order to continue the observation.

It was obvious to me that I didn’t need weapons.  This was a battle of the mind and the heart.  I snatched up some food stuffs and bedding before I wandered to the highest spot of view that I could find.  I committed to playing and observing. Perhaps not in that order.  I knew that I would be found, eventually; I knew that they would be tired and at the end of their wits.  Wits would be my Savior

 

Burn me

Burn me.

Burn every remnant of me.

Take what I leave and pile it into the pyre and burn it to the ground.  Let the wind carry my ashes into oblivion.

Burn every word, and every page.  Let every painting singe until the pigments bubble, burst and explode.

Burn me to ash.

Take the concepts I was born to believe in and throw them into the blaze.   Take the relationships I thought I could rely on and burn them beyond recognition.  Scald my skin and the the external parchment I used as protection.

Burn me!

Set flame to the fibers beneath my feet; those pieces of paper that were the meat on my bones that were let loose by the cool breeze of inspiration.   May the fire be so hot that I can do no thing, except disappear.

Set the fire strong.  Make sure all of the pieces are kissed by flames.   Make sure I smolder until I am gone.

BURN ME~ until there is nothing left to burn.

The tears I cry today, could put out a fire in the future but I would rather burn.

 

 

Polarity and Me

Some times I have to talk, out loud, about the state of polarity in the world and this seems like a good time to do it.

There is a Matrix inspired concept of being “Red Pilled” ( you go down the rabbit hole) or “Blue Pilled” ( you live a superficial life and avoid the rabbit holes at all cost.)

I feel born “Red Pilled.”

I am at a point in my life, where even if I wanted to, I could never conform to the norm.  I would risk death by being myself, and I’m not even that controversial.  I think I am pretty logical about stuff, but I also have a strong spiritual foundation which influences my perception; I would say for the better.

Everyday people are being offered the red pill or the blue pill.  Everyday someone takes the red pill.  Every day several choose to keep taking the blue pill.   The concept of perception changing, willingly is scary.   It’s like choosing to take a drug that will alter your perception.  It’s one thing to get drugged without consent, it is a whole different thing to accept the unknown and ride out the journey, wherever it may lead.

I don’t want to be on social media, but I keep having to reconcile the fact that I am not “allowed” to leave yet.  I don’t make big marks because that isn’t the point.   I am the epicenter of an undetermined radius of beings that pick up on my electric fluctuation, in turn I feel their and we create a harmonization of frequency over time and space that levels the so called “physical playing field.”

The major resonance that exists world wide is vastly different then the mood or feeling that the MSM gives you.  It isn’t even close to the maps and charts dictated by polls, or analytics because the frequency being judged on a higher level, has mostly to do with the state of the mind, heart and intention plus follow through.

It also has a lot to do with our misconceptions of love and acceptance and how we play that out in the “real world.”

In my observation, most people will not take the red pill because it will flip everything on it’s head, just like Alice flipped down the White Rabbit hole.   It will flip definitions, perceptions and relations to the commonly accepted flow of expectation.

What I can tell you for truth, is that anyone who is drastically polarized enough to be consider “Far______” have taken the Blue Pill and continue to.

Those who have taken the Red Pill will speak through the levels of mourning.  They made a decision that would change their lives forever and lose normalcy as they know it.  They won’t want to celebrate holidays.  They won’t want to buy luxury vehicles or frivolous things.

Red Pillers want to pair it down.  Simplify, and try and extract themselves because the reality of the construct is so disgusting that it becomes hard to deal with.  Relationships become harder to maintain because it becomes near impossible to find common ground.  There is no more keeping up with the Jones’.  No more waiting in lines for new releases and Apple Products.

Red Pill makes you want to just get by until you die.  Do what you can for those living while you are alive.  Red Pill makes you attuned to the spiritual battle when once you may have denied there could be such a level of existence.

My whole early life was a push-me/pull-you of drive.  And I feel so blessed to have pulverized my dreams in the ways of my youth.   I am invigorated by the fact that I have deprogrammed myself into a point where nothing of this world is enough to stumble forward, toward.  That may sound cryptic, but it isn’t.  I have a freedom I can’t articulate, and most can’t comprehend.

Is there laundry in the afterlife?

I don’t know.  And even though I hope not, if there is, I bet it smells even better than Earth Laundry.

What I want you to know, is that polarization is a choice, but that choice is perpetuated by perception.  When you no longer wish to be in that polarization, you will find anyway you can to disrupt it and escape it.  “IT” will always try to pull you back in, but it becomes harder to slip into once you align your mind with your heart and use your will as a backbone.

My hope for my periphery is that they are able to sift and sweep through the bullshit, in order to see what games are at play within this matrix; then be moved to remove them piece by piece individually by expanding their movement beyond their perceived physical reality.

We live in a world of infinite energy.  Seriously.  We keep making, and the Universe keeps providing while we tell ourselves that we are in lack and the world is over populated.

It simply isn’t true.  But it’s the modern dialectic.  It’s true in subsections, elevated to exposure to posture the plight of the underdog, passing penance placed to those who claim to capitulate care.

Continuing the polarization of people.  Struggling to live, find balance and a leg to stand on.  Pulling apart partners who praise all but one thing.  Serving a conflict with reaction as a side and Solution as Dessert.

Placating those who know better by offering few options in a limitless World.

 

My Best Friend: Unsettled Awareness

I went for a walk today, obviously sans dog.  And something happened in my brain that I haven’t experienced in the decade I had walked with Claddagh.  I became aware of what other people may think about me, as I walk along, alone.

When I had Claddagh, our walks were interactive.  It was just her and me in the world.  I gave no thoughts to the perceptions of the individuals passing me in cars.  They only existed as obstacles in crossing the road, completely depersonalized inside their automobiles.

Occasionally someone might hoot out at me, grabbing my attention but mostly I would choose routes of alleyways and side streets without much traffic.

It’s a pretty straight shoot along a busy road to walk for a pack of smokes.   Dog-less the short trip is mind numbing.   I feel the cars pass, and I become extra aware of the expression on my face, my posture and gait.   I’m in this thought and I avoid eye contact with drivers.  I think about this solo jaunt and I’m sad and lonely.  I am sure my face has that “melancholy far off look.”

Each and every normal thing that I do, for the first time, again- without my friend, I make note of.

“This is the first time I have put gas in my car without Claddagh.”

“This is the fist time I am popping into Goodwill, real quick, without Claddagh.”

“This is the first time I am going through a Chick-fil-A drive through without Claddagh.  No one told me how cute she is and if she would like a dog treat.”

“This is the first time I am walking around downtown without Claddagh, and no one strikes up a conversation about her.”

This new internal narration doesn’t make a good movie. I am having a new conversation by myself with the world around me, and I am the only one who knows the inside jokes.

I was barked at by a squirrel for a good five minutes today.  Claddagh would have been amused.

When Claddagh and I would walk, I would try and see the world through her eyes and engage it that way.  The only time I would suspend this reality, would be on “athletic” jaunts where I would want to keep a steady pace and an elevated heart rate; other than that we would be as lackadaisical or as excited as she wanted to be while trying to maintain a lead that wouldn’t choke her.

It was only in the last year or so, that she was beginning to walk on leash like a well paced partner, no pulling forward for the lead. I was really starting to appreciate that shift in her maturity, but now I just think it may have been a side effect of her heart tumor.

If you are ever deciding to get a dog, get one that is young at heart and really foster that personality trait.  Much like people, they may age into later years and be mistaken for younger because of the youthful and playful nature they exude.  That is a precious energy to embody or be surrounded in.

Madge Midgely e Alessandro Muresu: Fct 1&2

-my lost tapes

Sono molto contento di quanto ho compiuto oggi. Sul mio canale YouTube ho caricato i due tronconi che costituiscono una lunga traccia che Mandie mi ha inviato pochi giorni fa e alla quale ho lavorato immediatamente, chiudendo le incisioni nel giro di un giorno solo. Non ho ancora finito di ringraziarla, sia per il prezioso contenuto di quella mezz’ora circa di intensa notturna immersione nella natura dei rapporti, con un telefono a fare da medium mentre attorno si sloga un traffico dal lento respiro che sembra procedere ad occhi chiusi, sia per apparire fra le mie collaborazioni ed ospitarmi fra le sue. Anche per chi conosce poco la lingua inglese, diventa emozionante seguire le inflessioni della sua voce che varia con l’intensità del racconto e delle considerazioni. Ma non sarà difficile capire il senso. Mi ha subito impressionato la potenza di quei pensieri e anche il modo pulito e schietto…

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