I think we need to have a talk about Love.
I think we are mature enough to look at it from various perspectives and start to really feel and observe what this concept is beyond the word, itself.
Love, isn’t one thing or one feeling. It isn’t one singular expression that is universal in output. In fact it is as ever changing and unique as each human is- and each human changes and develops over time.
But Love is also consistent and steady and holds itself with such secure solidification that one may ask how both could be the same and cohesive at the same time.
Love is more than a word that is used too much and not enough.
Love is a feeling that is intangible but has, at times tangible reward.
Love in it’s most true form can not be corrupt- for its expanse leaves no room for corruption. It is only those on the surface who use the term with superficial meaning that bastardize the depth of the concept.
No worries though- there is always some hope that True Love can be found or will find you.
The first Love we know is from our parents or primary care givers in our early development. They set us up with expectations that love may equate ultimate forgiveness and freedom, or that love equates some sort of punishment; then again it may present as non existent as a word- that there is some void of connection to the word that is often connected to a feeling.
Then there are the loves we find beyond those beacons that bring us into the world- those gods that brought us life. Those on the outskirts that are different but familiar- grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins. We love them too. But each is expressing it in a certain and unique way that may or may not be healthy.
And we learn- we are mushy little beings in the beginning- we are absorbing like a sponge. And Love is a word with a unique feeling that shifts and changes with these beginning relationships.
We get older- hormones come to play. We see our peers now in a new way as physical and mental development weave with the comprehension of our soul. Attraction becomes something that steals our attention. The biology we cannot control brings new focus. If religion is involved things get even more complicated because something in it fights the reptilian brain.
I could ask anyone and everyone would define “Love” differently- that should give you pause because the word is thrown around like confetti- it is strewn about as decoration. I don’t like that. I take the word very personally knowing everyone defines it in their own way.
It’s an awkward way to live.
I’ve never been about the superficial meaning. I’ve never been about throwing the word around like it is candy or a treat to waste away the senses. I use it, when I mean it, the way I comprehend it. It is not a designer label, it is not a place holder.
It is a brief moment when I am saying “all is forgiven”- I feel for the best of you in the depth of my core and therefore you have my care.
You won’t find that in the dictionary. Most people won’t define “Love” in anyway close to that.
There is “conditional love” and “unconditional love.”
I don’t want anything to do with conditional love. I want to specialize in “Unconditional Love.”
I am familiar with rejection and I don’t want to feel it again, nor do I want anyone else to feel that feeling. The word “Love” is not the answer or solution because it is so unique.
In the Love Languages I am a service oriented do-er type. I show love by action.
When I feel love it is hard to deal with the energy that comes with it because I do not use the spell of the word to convey the feeling. I take the feeling and I do something that shows the care that I have for the one who is getting affection.
I would bleed myself dry for love. I would work to the bone for love. I would sacrifice my time for love- but I will only use the word every so often to make a point- and if the focus of my attention was paying attention they could see that.
We don’t live in the ideal world…yet. It hasn’t worked out so well for me in the way I perceive. It is easy to feel like it is all daunting- but it isn’t because everything is temporary. My Love is so big- the word “love” is just not good enough. It has been co-opted and bastardized by inappropriate boxes and labels.
The movies try and drag you into “romantic” and “unrequited love”, the psychologists try and tell you that even though your parents abused you, they also loved you, and that even though you may hate them, you still love them.
Abusers love to use the word love as a psychological manipulation tool.
People read scripture and bastardize that too and make the examples of unconditional love fit a prerogative.
I don’t like it- I don’t want to do it and when the word comes out of my mouth you better know I mean it wholeheartedly but in a very, very big way. Nothing about it is superficial.
I know we all deserve love in that way- that we deserve to know what it is and what it feels like, but people are too scattered in their mind mayhem and survival to break it down.
Tonight I break the construct of superficial love and help reintroduce the TRUE REAL EVERLASTING AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that is the core of our being- our heartbeat, our bread and water and breath.
No more will these chains of superficial nature keep us bound in ideas of condition love. No more will the phraseology be used as a psycho/emotional tool. NO MORE.
Everyday I work for all of us, because I believe and LOVE all of us. It isn’t work like a normal job- it actually looks like nothing to me if I were to look in on it- it isn’t a perceivable work. That doesn’t make it un-important- sometimes it confuses me too. I am human and fallible- but that it allows me to not care what you think you do or do not see. It is happening beyond your view.
I DO Love you all. I DO want the best for you. I WILL Work for the best case scenario for us all. I DO NOT need the word “Love” to prove my work. That word never did prove the work.
If you feel profound Love for someone- do the work- see what they need and help them meet their needs. Show up. Be there. Say the word if it gives them comfort, but refrain if you don’t feel the feeling in your core. Know that not everyone enjoys the word, read the room and figure if it’s been over used and has lost it’s meaning like saying the word “Fork” one hundred times.
We are all at different places on the playground. Honor that most- it takes no words.