Out of the numerous videos I have watched over the last week in regard to abstaining from alcohol; almost all of them reassert the same few observations, and one of those observations is, “Without Alcohol Productivity Soars!”
Now, I am going to be honest with you here, like I am in all my other posts… I really didn’t feel any more productive this first week with out alcohol.
My perception and feelings are very hypercritical, especially of myself; this is when I need the numbers to set me straight and tell me Truth from Fiction.
For instance, I started working out again, two weeks ago, and I have continued to work out while going one week without drinking.
The first week working out, I worked out a total of seven days that week (strictly on treadmill with either 5 lb hand weights or a 50 lb ruck sack), for a total of 3.7 hours, and a total of 13 miles distance, losing a total of 4.25 inches on my body.
Week two of working out sans alcohol, I worked out a total of six days, for a total of 4.5 hours, with a total distance of 13 miles, but with an additional fourteen minutes a day (for four days) of HIIT style exercises bringing my measurements down a total of 9.5 inches on my body (from first day of measuring on June 20).
When we look at ourselves everyday, it can be hard to see our own progress.
In our heads, we imagine our ideals, and when we look in the mirror, we see how far away we are from those ideals. We stare at ourselves in the mirror, as though we are examining ourselves under a microscope;
“Will he notice this scar?”
” Will some one comment on how flaky my skin is today?”
“Where did that bruise come from?”
“Do you think it will be noticeable?”
“Do you think any one can tell how many ingrown hairs are under my beard?”
“I’m never going to be able to wear a swim suit again.”
Humans are their own worst enemy, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Many of us had the struggle of endearing the process of bullying when we were children. We were awkward looking, goofy, and vulnerable. We wanted friends, just like everyone else. We weren’t the ones the popular kids wanted to sit with. Likely, we were a teachers pet at one point or another. We were generally kind hearted kids, who wanted to fit in. Fitting in sometimes meant, unattainable conformity.
We learned from an early age, that the world isn’t necessarily inclusive; and that’s okay, because we don’t necessarily want to be included in some things, especially if they are destructive or harmful to ourselves or others.
It’s possible that many of us are still battling that awkward inner child. The one that is willing to “go along to get along,”; the one that beats the bullies to the punch through self deprecation. That inner crying voice, that demands you don’t leave the house unless you look your best, and since you never feel your best, you never feel you look your best; so then you become a shut in, afraid of that scary, mocking world outside the door.
This is a seed of depression, few want to talk about.
The seed of depression that is sewn in our impressionable youth, watered by ourselves and our peers, sprouting in those prepubescent years, going into some adolescent maturity, where the stalks and roots are reinforced by rings of experience. Causing us to build that thick outer shell, in order to protect our very fragile insides.
Because, like, everyone knows, it isn’t cool to be fragile or vulnerable.
So we physically take on attributes associated with that fragility, to protect ourselves from pain. We build layers of fat onto our frames, to buffer our inner selves from the hostile outer world. We cultivate biting senses of humor, to lash like swords in uncomfortable situations. The effect of both of these actions is in itself a double edged sword; for now we open ourselves up to a new scrutiny, and we compound that pain and discomfort into those soft layers of fat while we drench ourselves in our own poisonous rhetoric.
Anyone who has struggled in this way, will tell you, “If I could just lose the weight, it would be one less thing to worry about. I would feel more confident.”
Anyone can lose weight; however, just losing weight isn’t going to immediately remedy all the compounded feelings and emotions which caused it to begin with. Without working out the rhyme and reason, you still have a fat person in a skinny or fit body. We have an obligation to our inner child to explain the difference between the Truth and Fiction. We deserve to work these struggles out for ourselves with patience and compassion
The Truth reasserts that, regardless of body fat percentage, you are worthy of love! Regardless of the pain you have suffered, you are good enough. Despite all the horrible things you may have believed about yourself, you are unique and vital.
I have found that drinking, reinforces those inner childhood insecurities; and alcohols’ direct connection to empty calories and weight gain, certainly shows me that the correlation isn’t only mental.
Week two I am going to pay close attention to where my productivity soars. I am going to make an effort to call it out and appreciate it, just like I would do for some one else. I am going to pay attention to what other distractions cut into my productivity.
I am going to be easy with myself, and try and convince my inner child to calm down and assess before panicking and running away or becoming defensive. I need to revisit some building blocks of safety, in order to convince that part of myself that “it’s okay to be proud of yourself, for small reasons.”
I am going to commit to expressing more gratitude to myself, for taking this challenge; and following the rabbit down this new and exciting hole.
If you have an interesting story to share about a challenge you faced head on, please leave a comment below, and share your experience. If you enjoyed this post, please share it and leave a like!
If you just found this blog spot, and you would like to read about my other revelations through the first week of Dry July, click the links below! Cheers!