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Decipher the Cipher of Life aka Stranger than Fiction

Yet again I am trying to downsize and further compartmentalize my life. Shed some of that heavy weight that no longer serves me. It’s hard to do because it requires me to dig into my past and this time it went to an even weirder zone.

Did you ever see that movie “Stranger Than Fiction” with Will Ferrell?  If not, you should and then maybe you will get the same sensation about your own life, especially if you are the artistic or wordy type.

Basically, today I got the sincere feeling I have been writing my life out, before I actually live it… or something to that degree.  I can look at a piece of writing and know when and why I was writing it at the time, but the way I write things is subconsciously coded language.  I don’t know how or why this happens specifically, but I have some assumptions.

The thing about all of this is, I haven’t had a bad life, over all.  I’ve had a rudimentary amount of pain in comparison to other people.  My family is full of good people who tried their best to offer what they could within their means, and probably unbeknownst to me, went above and beyond when needed.

So all I can do is ask myself  “What the actual fuck?”

I am going to admit that most of my journals are a massive spiritual battle. It has been that way as far back as I have recorded my life.  The journaling started around age 12, but I can go back to certain creations done in Elementary School and see a depth that is or was seen as some what abnormal for a kid that age.

“She is five- going on thirty five.” My grandma would say when I was little.  I wanted to sit at the adult table.  I wanted to converse.  I had questions and quips beyond my years.  Spirit has been speaking to me forever.

Now perhaps this is just the byproduct of losing a parent at a young age and the feeling that I had to grow up quickly to compensate. Maybe I was just born this way.   Who knows?   I do know that I drove my mother crazy when I was just a small child.  Enough so, for her to strip me down to basically nothing and leave me on the front stoop with the old adage “If you don’t want to be here, you are going to leave the way you came in.”  Naked and shivering.

It’s okay.  My aunt lived a couple of blocks away, and my mom would call her and tell her to come pick me up.  She would come over, packed with some over-sized clothing that belonged to my cousin.  She would wrap me up and take me back to her place until the whole thing calmed down.

Once my dad said, “If your mom was still alive, you would probably be at each others throat.”  Sometimes I feel like I am getting that experience with my grandma.  It isn’t a “hate” or loathing issue… it’s just this weird temperament that arises out of our idiosyncrasies and difference in ideologies.  It’s the byproduct of being stubborn and bull headed while still having the best intentions in love.

A stranger once told me “It’s easier to paint yourself into a corner than it is to write yourself out of a box.”  That has stuck with me for over a decade.  I wasn’t quite sure what it meant, but today, I think I got it.

It goes back to Abracadabra. A spell or incantation using the ABC’s.  This is why writing and words are magical.  This is how words hold a vibration that can influence the reality we live in… it’s the way you can send prayers or well wishes or destroy a life in a single breath.

My family can be traced back to the Druids on my Mother’s Father’s side.  There is some witchery in the blood, and that blood still courses through my veins.  I don’t purposely perform rituals or magik; I have a feeling there are a lot of us who don’t.  We settle on titles like “artist” or “writer” or “musician.”   We feel and feed on an indescribable power that fuels our creative spirit.   Words will almost magically manifest on the page without too much work.  We feel born knowing the Muses.  At least, this is how it has always been for me.

I haven’t had to try too hard in creative ways.  “It just comes to me.”

I don’t profess this as any sort of braggart, in fact, in this moment I am questioning all of it.  My family is a mixed up match of “tight lipped” and deceased, I don’t know where I can go to discuss this openly, so I leave it here for you, my few but beautiful readers.   I am realizing that I need to figure out a way to console myself.  Feel free to send suggestions.

“The calm before the storm” is over. I know it and I feel it with a force that is hard to describe. As I read through these papers and place them in a new container, I am god smacked..  I’ve predicted future patterns in my life with no intention of doing so; in alignment with that, the writing has predicted patterns of humanity and what would be worth our attention.  This leads me back a post I made about a week ago in regard to purpose and being a dreamer.  In this moment, I want nothing more than someone I could share the depth of this with, but I don’t have that someone, which is a reoccurring theme in my  personal writing that I rarely share.

I see in this moment that this specific loneliness is a representation of that spiritual battle.  We are all looking for connection in various ways.  I believe in Creation, I believe that Creation will not be out done.  I know I can’t out-create Creation.  That knowing can be overwhelming, like “why even try?” not to mention the clutter!  I make and make and make a mess and an abundance of stuff that may end up at a thrift store or a landfill.   I’ve carried paper around, weighing many many pounds over thousands of miles for what?

This moment.

This is the moment it all shifts.  I might not see the evidence of it immediately so I will leave room for it to shift as quickly as it wants to.

While going through things I stumbled on a good-bye note from a woman named Cecily Monk.  I didn’t know her well, or for very long but I really liked her personality.  She felt like a person that I would have had a long friendship with if we would have had more time together.

Anyway, when she left Keystone, Colorado I was at work and she left a note.

 

The last line is quite potent; “…and remember the journey of self discovery comes not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”  So obviously she was a fan of Proust, or one of her teachers had the actual quote “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” on a motivational poster or something.

I like that she added the word “self” and “journey” because the timing is perfect for today.  Journey vs Voyage is appropriate because I perceive a Journey to be far more relaxed than a Voyage.  Voyage makes me think of a specific conquest, for which I have had none up until this point.  The actual Proust quote takes on a deeper meaning when I rehash my words and see that in fact, I have been on a Voyage but I didn’t know it.  And I have had conquest but I didn’t acknowledge it.

It all comes down to love and forgiveness. And this is going to be so hard because there is a lot of bad shit happening in the world right now.  But just like I am finding illumination in my own writing, we are going to find illumination in just how fucked up humanity has been by bringing it to light.

Today I wanted to get rid of EVERYTHING.  I was feeling oppressed at how much garbage we consume and throw away.  I was overwhelmed by the massive pressure of pain that is the human condition.  I wished I wasn’t part of it because there is no easy solution and by the looks of it, it’s only going to get worse.  I thought about all the mundane stuff we do on any given day just to maintain a “standard” of living.  I thought about all the people who loath the work they do just for a paycheck.

I kept thinking, and thinking about all the stuff I can not stand.  How disappointing all of our entertainment is because it’s coded and getting increasingly ominous in content. I thought about how my creative spirit has been lost because I can’t imagine things getting better and I am sick of rehashing this old script that we are being fed on the daily.  Believe it or not, I believe this rumination to be a good sign.  My art and dreams and writing tell me so.  We really are dancing on the tip of a needle right now.

As I dug through this box the skies turned dark outside.  A while letter the rain came pounding down in sheets.  I laughed out loud and asked if this was a baptism and as I went to shut the screen door the water was falling so fierce that it was splashing out of the rain gutters.  In the few seconds it took me to move the block in front of the door (which is actually a heavy concrete lawn statue of a sleeping man wearing a sombrero) I was soaked and a bit elated.

This isn’t over, though.   I had just begun this excavation and there were more treasures to dig up, so this is only a taste of what that was.  To a certain degree I’ve been pulled into my own mystery.  I am sure it is appropriate timing as next month I will turn thirty-eight.  My life has been amazing, it’s hard not to think it’s a shame that I have felt so heavy through all of it.  Even in times of levity, the gravity of reality has kept me solid and grounded.  Luckily people like that about me, but if they didn’t it wouldn’t really matter because it feels unchangeable.

Last night I re-watched Eternal Sunshine of the the Spotless Mind for the second time, since the first time years ago when it came out on video.  I saw it with new eyes, but I knew the story and when I watched it the story came flooding back.  Looking through my life in writing produces the same feeling.  (Another topic I could probably go to length writing about, but not right now.)

I sense that things are starting to sync up for me again and I am not sure what that means.  I will probably be able to glean some knowledge from further exploration but I don’t know if I will wake up with the energy to keep on tomorrow… or if I will sit in stasis again for a while.  I’ve been practicing forgiveness for myself, and part of that is finding patience when my desires are so vast.  Giving myself time to figure things out without a strict timeline.   It isn’t easy.  It’s hard not to compare myself to other people and their obvious accomplishments.  I think “I’m just sitting on a stack of paper.”  But that “stack of paper” is the analog archive of my life experience in a very raw form.

I like to journal like I like to go bowling.  I can have a couple of drinks and do something to the best of my ability in full enjoyment even if I suck at it.  I feel fulfilled by slapdashedly swinging my dominate hand around without expectation of high results.  It’s something to do that is totally dependent on my personal attitude at the time. I don’t fear judgement because most times I keep it to myself.  If you want to bowl alone, go at 1:30 pm on a Tuesday.  The only people in there are over 60 and there aren’t many of them.  Most are there just for the bar.  Every once and a while a bold elderly man may stop by and offer tips on your game.

It’s like this blog page.  I have like eighty people who follow me.  I get very little engagement and I am fine with that.  Sometimes I just have to express myself out in the world.  When I was younger I was under the impression that I didn’t actually have a voice in the world, or that no one cared what I had to say; now I think that just the right people stumble in at just the right time, not only for me, but for themselves.  My delusions of grandeur have been over for quite some time now.

This digging and sorting is going to continue.  It has to.  Something about “getting your house in order” feels appropriate right now.  May you find patience and forgiveness in yourself, and the strength to get your own house in order.

PS.  The heading image was something my mom wrote on a piece of paper.  I don’t have much of her writing, on the other side is a poem that many people find haunting.  I am not sure if the cipher works for the poem, but if I feel like it, I might see if it does.  If it does, that would be so cool.  On my mom’s typed page it is titled “Love Poem” and instead of “he” it is “she.”  Who knows?  Everyone loves a mystery and the author is unknown.

lovep

 

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Hagia Sophia!

I just posted some illuminating thoughts on FB about the Pineal Gland.  I realize I haven’t really talked about the pineal gland since my youtube was shut down seven years ago and since it is a topical item included in my current painting in process, I thought maybe I should revisit the topic.

If you don’t know about the pineal gland… GOOGLE THAT SHIT, PRONTO!

TLDR:  The Pineal Gland is “the inner eye.”  It has cones and rods just like your outer eyes.  It is sensitive to things that cross the blood-brain barrier. (B cubed.)  It is sensitive to electromagnetic pulse that is directly connected to the heart.  Symbolically it is represented by a pine cone (which may seem innocuous but profound.) Sophia. Wisdom. Sacred Heart. Empathy. Intuition. Reason. Motivation.

Let’s get down to brass tacks; There are reasons you may have never heard of or thought of the Pineal before. Perhaps your are Catholic and visited the Vatican and thought ” Why is there a giant pine cone in the middle of their courtyard?” It’s called the Pigna, Rione of Rome.  Seriously check out the images linked and the wiki link, you will glean some insights.  Here is a Catholic sight with Catholic perspective.  I am not Catholic, or any religion.  This piece of writing is unbiased and only my perception of the topic, links are to be discerned by your own connection to spirit.   Feel free to share your insights in a message or comment.

Recently I have been researching Sophia.  In Roman Catholic doctrine she represents Wisdom; The Holy Spirit, which may challenge your ideas on the Trinity as the Trinity is generally seen void of the feminine.   Sophia has an interesting story when it comes to Creation and the archetype that she has been made to represent in culture.

I don’t usually  explain my paintings, left to the observer to decipher or interpret; however this piece is pretty intentional in focus because of it’s lack of randomness.  I usually just paint as I feel fit, this painting started random and has taken on new life because the idea and spirit of Sophia keeps rising to the top of the topic list and I need to explore her and her energy.  Undoubtedly there is a reason that Hansen Robotics named their most notable and recognizable AI, Sophia.  (Let’s face it, all creators follow some sort of script and Sophia has been obscured for quite a while.)  In my opinion Sophia has been hidden for a reason and once you look into her, you may come to some of the same ideas.

Hagia Sophia! Wisdom!

As I attempt to write this piece I have to undo deletes that I didn’t authorize.

Here are the visual images and post I made to FB.

The pine cone aka the Pineal Gland is the Sacred Heart.

Most depictions of the Pine Cone are upside down. Tiny at top, and broad on the bottom, essentially a detached and dead pine cone.

The Sacred heart is represented as vibrant and thorny yet detached as well but right side up… Coniferous Pine trees are thought to be the most ancient plant genera on the planet, having existed nearly three times longer than all flowering plant species. In this idea the Pine Tree would be the Tree of Life. It bares an inedible fruit that keeps giving while the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil bares a fruit which would be succulent and consumable (perhaps to the point of sickness.)

This leads me to the life sucking reality of the Pine Beetles being a greater allegory for our current reality. Why one type of beetle? Why one type of tree? What is the tree here to teach? What is the purpose of the beetle? What is the cure? How do you perceive the process of extinction? Does it matter? How does it relate to the pineal gland?

Mind, Body, Spirit. Heart, Mind and Soul.

Protect it, it is your direct connection to Source. The pineal can vibrate with the heart syncing it’s electromagnetic pulse. “For those with eyes to see, and ears to hear.” The pineal has cones and rods just like an eye. “If it offends the eye, pluck it out.” If you disconnect or pluck out the inner eye, you lose a connection to your heart that fuels intuition, empathy and moral consciousness.

 

Are you starting to see it? Sophia is the fulcrum between mind, matter and creation with positive and protective intent.   Sophia is every mother figure killed in every Disney movie, leaving the protagonist to grapple between worlds disconnected from Source; meanwhile we are literally beat over the head to whole heartily trust in and follow men.

“Behind every good man is a woman, that is unless you erase that idea.”

Sophia’s story puts her at the helm of the beginnings of Creation.  Her input matters.  She becomes so involved in the creation that she joins it.  Immerses herself in it and in that way changes the outcome beyond unbiased observation/experimentation.  She becomes one with the experiment, she influences observation.

Whoa!  Right?

She is “The Holy Mother of All”.   When you strip away the religion, and look at Creation as experimental pioneers the whole story takes a new shape.

Recently I have been asking out for Divine inspiration,  the climate of the world has had me down and I have needed/wanted a new insight for inspiration.  I have been calling out for intervention and motivation… This is when Sophia came to call.   I was surprised at her subtlety… perhaps that is how she was buried for so long.

Obviously she is a master of patience.  I encourage you to seek her out and ask her more about herself.  Obviously we are not void of her inspiration, we just never caught her name.

 

Dream Job

I’ve sat here for years now, slowly attempting to kill myself for no discernible reason.  The deeper I dig the less I know.  Over these past years my passions have been purged, and I am left wondering what the point of all of this is, for me, specifically.  Once upon a time I was a person who felt a strong purpose for living.  I was certain I was something special, though there was nothing outward about me that would elucidate such a theory.

I came to think of myself as one of the dreamers.  My hands were never meant to stir the pots, but my dreams were ingredients to a larger stew.  I knew I wasn’t the only Dreamer, but at times it felt like I might be.  Something like the simulation theory, there was one player, playing many parts in the same game, but the avatars seemed clueless to this fact. I was one of the few who wondered why the others couldn’t see how obvious it all was.

Some people are born into the world a sleepy eyed blank slate.  They believe everything they are taught, and they are not taught to question and so they don’t until they are forced to. Once they start to question life starts to fall apart level by level.  Red pilled.  Life will never be the same.   Some refuse the red pill, they can’t face their fear of what is on the other side of the veil.

There are those like me born with one foot on the other side of the veil, and one foot grounded in the simulation.  A delicate dance of walking a wire between worlds.  It’s hard to explain the spiritual nature of existence to those who deny the spirit even exists.  Everyone is born knowing the spirit world exists however the purity in that knowing is often sullied within the first few years of life for a variety of reasons.

It can be a long, hard road getting back to that place of knowing and experiencing the spirit, once one shuts it down or turns it off.

I could never avoid the spiritual realm.  It would come to my dreams and in my waking life.  At times I felt as if there was a bubble of protection around me, which helped substantiate my theory of some purpose.  I figured that purpose would reveal itself as something tangible at some point, however I still feel like I am in a waiting room.

I start to wonder if part of the Dream Job, is to lose all desire for this world.  “To be in the World, but not OF the World.”  These days that is exactly where I exist.  In but not of this World.  I anticipate it’s collapse as I write this.  The signs are here that something big is on the horizon.  The Dreamers have sewn the Dream, and now the Integrator’s are weaving the Dream into the Fabric of Reality.  Restitching the pattern as we’ve known it.  All we need is enough people to man the Loom.  The rest will take care of itself because Spirit is on the side of change.  The expiration date grows ever closer.

We must become sick and disgusted before anything will change and that is why it is prophesied that there will be great upheaval.  Some will riot against Creation and Spirit.  Others will riot against Death and Destruction.   The spirit that drives these entities will have no recourse but to clash in a battle to the end.  It’s already told as to what side will prevail but that knowing doesn’t stop the course of events as they were written in the Time Template so long ago. There is nothing we can do about the outcome other than pick our sides wisely, there is a point coming where there will no longer be any grey area.  No middle ground, fence riding.  Simply, Hot or Cold.  Life or Death.skullface

A Kittery Tale: Khajiit Finds a Furever Home with Jenny and Seneca aka, Khajiit turns Rock Star

Okay, okay… A random cat finds you, you think it may be lost and you give it the freedom   to return to “home”,only “home” is now your house and she gets all prego… whaddaydo?

Watch life begin, of course.

The last 12 weeks have been brutal… for me.  Separations; mom wanting space, bigger poops in the litter box, everyone eating me out of house and home but ultimately jealousy.  Let me tell you about my late affection.

Little Rascal (now known as Khajiit) is one of the two calico’s from my tiny fur tribe.  She was the last one to offer me her sweetness.  When she finally gave forth, it was precious beyond words… but our beginnings were not so kosher.

In my observation Itty Bitty and Khajiit were in cat-hoots.  They like a bit of that bite and claw action.  If someone was biting at my toes, it was that Lil Rascal Khajiit. In the beginning there was minimal holding and reluctance to kiss; week 11 when Peanut Buddy (now Otto) left, the tides shifted. Lil Miss shifted from “battle bro” to “cuddle now.”  I had no complaints.  She jumped on the kissy train and settled down a bit.

Of course this begs the question of sibling dynamics, even in the animal world.  Catland was now fully saturated with females and one male, Big Boy .  Big Boy calmed down at least five fold without Peanut Buddy offering some male petition. Khajiit was in second place when it came to strength, size and agility without harassing Momma.  The Game was on.

Khajiit seemed to desire some self definition right away; she was a middle baby and despite her distinction in the looks department, her evasive nature made her hard to pin down or in human terms “force love upon”.   She seemed astute and willing to sit on the sidelines in order to form her own opinions.  I regret to say that more than once she was at the mercy of my clumsy nature around fast moving objects (namely my clumsy ass feet).  I definitely stepped on her tail more than once but always apologized and gave love afterward.   At one point I asked myself why it was always her that was at the mercy of my lack of grace…. obviously she came to grips with it because when she decided to love, it was super obvious.

All of sudden she wants to cuddle, FIRST!  Everyone else is running around like an idiot and she is like “Nah, I’m gonna grab that sweet warm spot behind the shaggy fat persons legs.”  History is made!  But Her Story is just beginning.

Jenny and Seneca wanted a kittery.  They NEEDed a kittery; my house is like a cat drug den… who will fall victim?  After Otto left, I let them all know ‘Some one is waiting for you,  and they can’t wait to show you a whole new world.”  Before Jenny came over to meet and greet, I told them “It’s equal opportunity, but I have my feelings.”   For some reason I knew LIL would make her mark in the introductory love department, and she did not disappoint.

Jenny came over for a meet and greet with a nature so gentle, I am sure all of them were surprised.    That nature is just what Lil needed if only to give them a run for their money.   Jenny wants to toilet train and walk on a leash and that is exactly the kind of world exposure newly named Khajiit needs.  A whole new world of love and adventure. Independence and dependence with the perfect balance of personality.

Khajiit is currently causing a riff of jealousy with her kin; within 48 hours of being in her new home she was given the opportunity to star in a music video from SunnyDale High, Seneca’s rad Wyoming band that thematically follows Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  Khajiit is going to be a hit.

You should definitely check out her acting debut with a great soundtrack by Seneca’s band.  Also you should definitely check out Sunnydale High when they play WARPED Tour this summer in Denver, if you do, you should tell them  “Khajiit sent you.”

May all my kitteries rock and find their love-home dreams come true.

Check out Khajiit’s debut and Sunnydale High’s music at this adorable link.

May the Meows be with you, Lord Kittery knows we all could use it right now.

 

 

 

 

 

Conspiracy

In the last few years, a few of my closest friends have shown a disgust for how I think; when once it seemed that was one of their favorite attributes in my personality.

Perhaps they think that I think that the world is out to get us, or maybe that I have fear of my fellow human.  The word conspiracy has that effect on people, on purpose.   You are either “in” or “out” of it.  Those who stay out of it generally take what they are given verbatim without thinking too much about any of it, and then when the time is right, they regurgitate it in order to protect themselves.  It’s safe, it’s something to cling to and gosh darn it four out of five professional/experts/doctors/scientists agree.

Fact: We live in a hierarchical structure of natural  power. Humans interpret it as a Hierarchical structure of CONTROL.  (In Nature, a large cat could pounce on you and kill you in an instant.  In Man Made Control, you know that you don’t want to be killed by a large cat, and therefor you make legislation to limit the amount of cats thereby “humanely hacking Nature” so that you can “protect the human population that is growing into lands that large cats inhabit.”  You hire a good looking suit to deal with nitty-gritty nature (just an example of NOT working with nature and focusing solely on self preservation and growth from a safe citizen stand point.)

Why do you think a large cat might kill you, if it isn’t hungry?  It knows you are in their territory. Boundaries are real in biology. We kill wild animals like we kill “wild/ undomesticated” humans.  We invade and take over and kill the population down until it no longer feels like a threat to the agenda.  This shit is real, AND repetitive, folks.

No One becomes something out of nothing.  We live within a structure of levels; natural and imposed.  If you seek to ascend the levels, whether it is in a gang; tribe, pack, job, corp, MLM scheme, or even government… You gotta pay your dues and the work usually pays off by climbing the ladder.  Even our education system is built around passing tests and making the grade.

“Uhm did you even graduate?  But, like, did you GET your degree?” 

This construct of existence is embedded into us from conception and is further reinforced once we enter the world.

Fact:  Hierarchical structures will never lend to equality in any place but Nature, the Natural Way.

When I talk about equality, I am not talking about the subjective definition of “feminism” or Black Lives Matter movement.  I am talking about every living being, playing a fair field in survival and consequence. Nature is just as brutal as it is forgiving.  We don’t have to tell it what to do *edit*Yet there are things we can do that assist the natural order.  YES!  Arnica helps with bruises!  Yes!  Turmeric helps with inflammation and painNature also works with us, the natural organisms existing on it. (That doesn’t mean that humans aren’t trying to find a loophole or hack beyond that.  Google Cloud Seeding in Drought Areas.  We are in the heyday of humans trying to control the thing that naturally sustains their life without comment or opinion.)  This also means that sometimes certain people are struck by lightening more than once.  What does it mean when we have a conversation with nature or the world around us, and then integrate it into our present circumstances?   The process can actually share a lot of into.

Before there was democracy, there were kingdoms; Matriarchal societies, small tribes, councils, prophets, tribunals, cults and that one asshole snake oil salesman, etc.   Each society  has taken a stab at trying to control themselves and anyone in eye sight.    Even in small sedate groups of friends, you will find an “Alpha” that drives the dynamic.  There is a certain order to Nature that man seems to think he can perfect, as to streamline command in times of trouble or discomfort. (Note, usually the drive to do this is incredibly selfish and not at all about the greater collective.  The charisma drives the agenda.  This is how one good looking and well spoken person, can lead a “revolution” that is purely based on a selfish agenda.  If you look good; sound good, have money and press to back you, things can get Gold(en)). Everyone wants to be on the “Sunny Side of the Street.”  Currently we are sitting in a spit stew of people who have barreled forward this way.  The House Of Cards is Ready to Crumble.  Charisma and money are not a Savior.

This is not to say that Hierarchy is wrong; more so, it is to say that this is an unavoidable dynamic in the construct we not only collectively support, but also live in, and with some intro/retrospection, could probably address better as a collective.  As it stands, the one with the most money and sponsors wins; they win public opinion; they alter the course of research, and they justify the use, misuse or under-usage of that which belongs to ALL OF THE PEOPLE.

This may seem fair if you find agree-ability to an agenda or personality,  but it isn’t  fair at all due to the huge disparity of financial equity that holds this structure in place. ( I feel bad for people who send their spare $5 to a candidate that is given thousands if not millions by large corporations.  Do you feel like you are actually “contributing”?  Of course you feel “invested in a cause” if you send your last five dollars… you are scraping by as-is.  That five dollars was the last bit of hope you had wishing for a better future.  That must feel futile and draining.)

This dynamic is as old as time and will seemingly continue to play out in repeat until all of us get the clear picture of how this play continues in repeat.

Let me give you an example, since so many people are going to the polls today in places like California.

The program has always been:  VOTE!  Your VOTE matters!  YOU can Make a Difference!  Get to those polls!

If you were anything like me,  your first time voting, you did some research, got fired up and took to the poll box, only to find that the person you wanted to vote for was not on the ballot.  In the state of Wyoming where I took my first vote, they told me “If you write in a candidate, you lose your vote.”  (This would lend to my later years of not voting, because, like, am I really losing a vote if I don’t vote? Or am I voting by purposefully stepping out of the game?”)

People are increasingly getting disinterested in the voting aspect of politics because they know it can be hacked, and when your options are limited in a swing state, and you feel vehemently opposed to a candidate it isn’t a (personal) vote of the least offensive.  That is the crap about voting, it will always be polarized by the system and finacially supported by backers with the most cash=influence.   One that alone an election is always going to be in imbalance.

In that first voting experience I was CRUSHED! I was discouraged from writing in a vote.

I live in a swing state ( Highly influenced by the Electoral College), there was no use in putting in a vote for my choice ( at the time Ralph Nader).  I was two months into being 18 and the Presidency had been so hyped up that local politics was drowned out by mainstream division.  Despite being crushed, I tried again four years later in the same location, this time, giving the vote to someone on the ballot.  G.W.Bush.  I wanted my vote to count and I only had two options; not to mention Wyoming is obviously a Red State, and those comments in my first voteable election “shook” me.

During my second vote-able season I was involved in a non-denominational church , our church was on a hill over looking town by the notorious water tower… The night of the election we had bible study; we prayed over our town, while holding hands in a circle praying that GWB would make office.  During that prayer my hands were sweating and it felt like a very wrong thing to do.   A couple of handfuls later, 9/11 was a reality.

What happens when humans hijack natural hierarchy?

Nature,  when left to it’s own devices, does what Nature does.  It lives and dies; thrives and regresses, changes and adapts toward its best balance.

When man in his “so-called infinite wisdom”, attempts to dominate natural flow, it all comes back to bite… eventually.   I wonder if anyone else feels the pressure of impending pain, but not in the ways we are told it will play out.

I want you to meditate on this, because people immediately assume that if we didn’t have a man made power structure, that we would destroy ourselves or that Nature would take us out.  That conclusion in my opinion is only partially true.  Let me explain.

Nature seeks balance.  Man seeks dominance.  There is your TLDR.

Yes, if we relied on Natural Law, people would die.  They would die of stupidity, rage and over confidence.  They would also die naturally and accidentally like they already do.  People would still die the ways they have always died, but maybe even less often given our deathfood/ deathcare system, or maybe more, because it seems like there are a lot of imbalanced people existing in this world. This is not to say that I want people to die; it’s just fact that we all will, eventually.  When Nature seeks balance, it actually takes each one of us into account.  We don’t always see how that plays out for an individual.  A certain amount of trust is asked.  You may even call it “faith” or “karma”.  Ultimately it is the trust that “everything works out for the best”  “even shit can be turned into diamonds”.  (it’s all carbon, right?”)

It is to say that I think it is strange that any human could live on earth to be 20-100 years old and think they know better than the Earth knows itself, which has been around for as long as we know based on our biological data.  This is to say that despite how long we have been recording data, not one of us still has 100% substantial proof of how things actually operate.  (This goes for everything.  We know a fraction of what there is to “be known”.  Is anyone really an “expert?”)  Formulas, Math, Theories and Philosophies are a start, so where does this weird “control matrix” dominate the paradigms?

We can work with the Earth, we can try and work with it the best we can; but history shows it was programmed to ADAPT to almost anything (note, it hasn’t totally disappeared yet), as were humans and other animals/ biological organisms.  Our amazing ability to adapt has been both a blessing and a curse, depending on how you look at it.  We humans, seem to be the only entities commenting or making opinions about it (unless you follow Channels) The Earth Speaks, no doubt, but it really doesn’t care what you think nor does it take your opinion into account when it does what it does.

In my opinion; I view the Earth to be amazingly resilient and adaptable, full of humor and tragedy.  She actually seems like the LEAST LIKELY entity to ultimately self destruct when it comes to planetary biology.   People who think that ultimate planetary destruction by the planet’s upset alone have no basis for this planet reaching that end.  From what I can tell from history, our planet is SUPER FORGIVING.   It seems like a pretty pessimistic and “speck in the dust” kind of attitude to think that Earth is trying to shake us off of it like a disease.

I counter: that this “Man Made Hierarchy” is to blame for attitudes that lend to the aforementioned philosophy.  “Man, always thinks he can make everything better.”

“For what would the Earth be, without Man?”

Probably a pretty awesome self sustaining unit of balance.

“But what would Man be, without the Earth?”

Well He, She, It… wouldn’t exist.  Tell me again about the Center of the Universe and how we all live out selfish microcosms while neglecting the Macro Cosmic Truth;

None of this exists, as it is, if humans were not part of the equation. Their thoughts, feelings and input would be vacant in this greater space we call “Our Own, Our Home”.  Our greater Origin matters in the context of all things relevant in this modern society looking quite defunct under the microscope of function and relation.  Seeking in these little hubs of humanity, individuals grasping at balance.  Truly asking how they can adapt, change and work with the greater entity that sustains our fragile lives.

In Natural Law, the greatest power in construct, is CREATION itself.  The cosmic conscious pattern of play that is the overlay that creates the reality we call reality, either subjectively or objectively.  We become the centers of our own Universe by the construct of our minds.   We either agree or disagree on major and minor points, but at the end of the day we each have to go to bed with ourselves and our personal views.

In my observation, the Macro and Micro always reflect and somehow come back to center.  It is not chaos, it is not unorganized or random/coincidental.  Everything, Every Thought, Every Action follows a pattern that can be observed as above (telescope) or so below (microscope) and is filtered through a slit experiment of observation and opinion; further filtered by logic, rhetoric and reasoning.  There is no room for name calling (ad hominems), this isn’t a place for Devils advocate.  These are equal organisms sharing a home looking to support the best function and structure of the Home.

99% of what you think you should care about, doesn’t actually matter.  The 1% that matters, if you pay attention to it and tend to it, will ripple in effect 100 fold.

“Fix Yourself before you Try and Fix Others.”

When you fix your home, you feel more comfortable.  When you feel more comfortable, others immediately feel more comfortable with you, and doubly so when they are in your home.  Your body is your home.  Your mind is your home, your house is your home… your Earth is your home.  Treat yourself the way you would have others treat you.  Treat your home or Earth the way you would have others treat it. We are all seeking a certain amount of Trust.  It is a basis for strong foundations.

Fact:  We learn by example.

This speaks for itself.  Be conscious of those who influence you, and be aware of how you influence others. Be true to yourself, and seek Truth to share.

You may call conspiracy on me but the only conspiracy is silence and lies.

 

I’d love to start a podcast, or just continue writing on this topic, but the lash back from close people is hard.  Perhaps you are a follower and like topics like this… hit me up, send a donation, like the post or leave a comment.

I love the interaction and would love to see more of it.

Peace be with you beautiful people.

 

 

Introduction to Cheyenne Fit Body 6 week Body Transformation Challenge

Well the day has finally come!  I am gonna get off this fat ass and DO something about it.

After lying in bed a couple nights ago; thinking about my gymphobia.  I imagined my fear being lessened if gyms had short instructional videos on every machine; showing proper form and function.  A cheat for those newbies who feel anxiety or are mentally not ready for a trainer. I fell asleep thinking maybe if I pitched it to the gym I am a member of, I would be inspired to go.

The next morning I woke up, and the first thing on my  Facebook feed was a status from Cheyenne Fit Body Gym; advertising a 6 week Body Transformation challenge, with a satisfaction guarantee.  And for a few quick responders, the rate would be nearly half of their normal pricing.  Three easy payments of $67.00 and a positive attitude, and I could be on the path to the body I have always wanted.

I decided to email about the offer, and set up a consultation with owner Sara Goossen.  My motivation was amplified by the fact my house is only four blocks away.

I decided to check out the Fit Body Bootcamp website.  A short testimonial video gives a glimpse of some of the activities that are part of the Fit Body Boot camp.  Each session is only thirty minutes long, and boasts of maximum fat burn in minimum time.

I’m sold.

Sara was in a consultation when I came in for my appointment.  The woman she was meeting with was showing some nervousness about starting the program.  Sara commiserated with her, and encouraged her that in a month from now, she  will not be the same woman.  I couldn’t see this womans’ face, but I can imagine her brain might have been rolling it’s eyes.  It’s hard to see a positive future when focused on all the things you may not like about yourself.  I can already tell that Sara is not the type of instructor to let people beat up on themselves, instead she turns it around and encourages a positive outlook.

My consultation with Sara was short but inspirational.  She has a great attitude and a positive sense of humor.  We discussed my fitness goals, and the goals of the program.  Next, we got down to the business of my current body stats.  I was weighed; measured, and tested for arm strength.  A pretty simple procedure overall (that is if you can get over reading your weight on a scale.)  To which Sara responded, “This will be the last time you see these numbers.”

I was invited to begin today or tomorrow if I so choose.  I plan to start tomorrow.

Sara has a goal of reaching 5,000 Cheyenne residents through this program.  To support her goal I hope you join me as I chronicle this experience.  For those who have followed my recent blogs, they have been pretty depressing.  I hope to remedy that with this new action, and I hope you find inspiration with me as I chart unknown territories of my journey to a better body.  Stay tuned!