Tag Archives: nature

A List of Thankful

I’m not sure how people have the strength, courage, and fortitude to have children in this modern world.  Heck, the more I think of it- it doesn’t matter what time in history we are talking about- having children seems like an absolutely terrifying life path.

I am thankful my parents wanted me so badly that they had to try to make it happen.  How I’ve spent years feeling “unwanted” is beyond me.  My brother was the accident- but you know what?  They wanted him too, they just didn’t have to intend him as they did with me.

I am thankful I was raised before the age of technological saturation.  How blessed I was to be woken up at the crack of dawn to go fishing with my aunt;  to go sledding in the mountains, to go backcountry to cut down a Christmas tree, to go camping all over the US.  Those where the days when imagination was easily immersed in books and drawing paper.

If you had a computer- it belonged to the family, and it wasn’t used that often because it interfered with the phone line that everyone also shared.   It was a time in history when there were time limits for these shared resources.  Set the kitchen timer for a twenty-minute phone call.  When the timer went off- the call would need to wrap up- post haste. If you needed the computer, you could use it for an hour, but not if someone was expecting a phone call.

I am thankful I was raised in a time where we had to communicate our needs and expectations to one another- face to face.   A lost time when dinner was ready, your parents would holler at you to set the table- instead of sending a text message to the room down the hall.  It scares me to think that this is how we have adapted to our technology.

I am grateful that most of my youthful indiscretion was analog.  Stupid mistakes made before the time when everyone had a digital instant camera in their pocket, ready to record the blunders of those around them.   A time before “revenge porn” and naked selfies.  I can’t imagine the unconscious stress this adds to teenage/ young adult lives.  I can’t imagine how this will change the foundation of relationships in the future.  Yet another terrifying thought that brings me back to my appreciation for how much simplicity we had at one time.

 

Interwoven

Renaissance (n.)

“great period of revival of classical-based art and learning in Europe that began in the fourteenth century,” 1840, from French renaissance des lettres, from Old French renaissance, literally “rebirth,” usually in a spiritual sense, from renastre “grow anew” (of plants), “be reborn” (Modern French renaître), from Vulgar Latin *renascere, from Latin renasci “be born again, rise again, reappear, be renewed,” from re- “again” (see re-) + nasci “be born” (Old Latin gnasci, from PIE root *gene- “give birth, beget”).An earlier term for it was revival of learning (1785). In general usage, with a lower-case r-, “a revival” of anything that has long been in decay or disuse (especially of learning, literature, art), it is attested from 1872. Renaissance man is first recorded 1906.

 

I like the parts of this etymology that says “grow anew” or to be “born again” , “reappear.”I like it because it is true, time is not linear and more and more these days we are allowed to reconnect with deep soul kin… essentially elongating our interaction through these different wave lengths and time lines.

I am living this now and I want to share some of it with you.  Obviously my series about My Best Friend(‘s Journey)  is some of the amazing proof of this reality.

My creativity is expressed in many ways: these blogs, the journals, the scraps, the paintings, the music and the spoken word I can’t contain.  So much content with context.

I wanted to create a post with all the links to the music up to now because my creative collaborator Alessandro Muresu is some sort of vibration soul mate born on another continent.   He is precious to me because he brings out the best in what I struggle with in experiment AND his passion bleeds through his work, for whatever reason he also found me a compatible collaborator and what happens through sound files is soothing for us both.  Feeling old and familiar, but new and extraordinary.

I shall not build it up too much more.

Preface-  All of these sound qualities have a drone, which is the specialty of Ale.  I am the chaos that interferes but can also create soothing.  Ale brings all of the balance in composition.  My success’ are accidental.  I am sloppy but focused. I have no idea what I am doing, but I love manipulating sound.  My voice is a tool to those ends.  These are posted from earliest to most recent.  I invite you to listen to the evolution of it over all and to visit the rest of Alessandro’s Archive of Wonder.

If you don’t want to listen to all of them, pick one for now out of what you are drawn to.  It’s probably the right one for you in the moment.

Listen to Yourself

FTC Part 1

 

FTC Part 2

Squeaky Floor

Save

Ode (To Us)

173 Part 1

173 Part 2

173 Part 3

173 part 4

177

Karibu

Recording 21

Rudiments

Recording 15

 

*Credits to my late Grandfather Edward Lee Chapman for the heading photo in this post.  He really had an eye for light and shadow.

 

 

 

 

 

My Best Friend: What Is Nature Without You

Yesterday I was numb.  My mind was empty.  I did a lot of pacing.  I used what mental strength I had to imagine kissing the black spot on Claddagh’s head, right where the third eye sits.  I imagined the way her hair spread across her face, and in what position she may be laying depending on where I was looking.

There is a ghost in my mind, that I am trying to materialize, and I know that it’s futile.

A recent acquaintance asked if I would like to go hiking tomorrow.  My folks suggested I take a few days and go to the mountains and write, or to at least take a walk.   At the moment I can’t bare the thought of going back to nature without my nature buddy. I mean, what would I even do once I got there?  Deep down I know that nature is my solace and I feel at most peace in the mountains.  I know that when I get there it will be hard to think about this pain in the same way that I am currently thinking about it, surrounded by the reminders of  this ordinary life we had been living.

Who will keep me warm at night, if I choose to camp?  Who will I share my meal with once that big meaty steak is done cooking over the open flame?  Who will alert the bears and beasts that we are peacefully sharing the space of nature for a few days?  Who will alert me when something suspicious- this way comes?

I know that I never really thought of Claddagh as “protective”, there was never any real reason for her to have to step into that role, and I really feel like she trusted me to be the protector.  When I think of going back to nature for long periods of time without her, I feel a sense of fear, despite the seemingly carefree nine years I was roaming and camping on my own before she came into my life.  I became incredibly comforted by her company.

When we were on our three month camp out, she wandered away from the camp site enticed by the smell of horse manure on the near by trails.   Frantically I called her back.  I walked around calling her and eventually I her her sharp cries in the distance.  I kept calling and walking until I honed in on her howl.   I found a distant campsite with a van and a tent.  Claddagh was tied to a tree with a rope, and an old drunk Native man sat on a near by camping chair.

I asked him why he had my dog tied to the tree, she was obviously responding to my calls.  The man said nothing, so I angrily walked to the tree and untied the rope.  Claddagh and I walked by to our site, side by side.

Claddagh was always more fun to walk with off-leash.  She was really good about either walking right by my side, or running up ahead about twenty feet and then stopping and waiting to for me to catch up.  I use to enjoy playing statues with her.  She would run up ahead and just as she would turn around, I would freeze in position.  I would hold it until she ran back to me to see why I wasn’t moving, and then I would just resume walking and we would do it all over again.

Nature was a big playground for us to make up games.  Sometimes we were treasure hunters.  Sometimes we were ninja’s.  Sometimes I would just trust her to take the lead in order to see where we ended up.  We stumbled on old graveyards, abandoned buildings, and perfect bubbling streams.

A few years ago we went out and my car battery died.  We walked the long dirt road back to Happy Jack and just hoped that some one would help.  Happy Jack looked desolate and the weather was turning dark and stormy.   Just as we approached the asphalt a big green truck drove by and I started waving frantically.  They pulled over and turned around.  Two kindly older gentlemen were in the cab.  They worked for Game and Fish and were happy to assist me and Claddagh.  We hopped in the back seat and they drove us back to the site and proceeded to jump my car.

I started packing up, and shared my last two Red Stripe beers with the men, who had never heard of Red Stripe before.  They gave Claddagh some treats, and were on their way.

It’s like I’ve always had “Angel Power”, but Claddagh amplified it.  We had double Angel Power between the both of us and often times it felt like things turned out the best for both of us, because she was there.  I think people subconsciously know that the way a dog acts, says a lot about the owner.  If you feel you can trust the dog, you can probably trust the owner.

More than once we were invited to stay with strangers who ended up being wonderful hosts.  It takes a special kind of person to invite an unknown person with a dog into their home, around their children.  We were blessed to have those kinds of experiences.

Claddagh and I didn’t go on many group camp outs.  One of the last ones was July 4th, probably four years ago now.   There was a rather large group of us, and almost everyone had a dog. I was so proud of Claddagh getting along with everyone.  There was one dog, belonging to a friend, who was younger and less adapted than the rest of the dogs in the group.  He really wanted to get to Claddagh, and it was slightly problematic, yet she wasn’t giving into violence.  I was hoping that we were entering a new maturity phase where it might be easier to be around more dogs without causing anxiety.

I was able to see that play out a couple of times as home, when an occasional lost dog would end up in our yard.  If they were friendly and tagged I would bring them into the back yard until I could figure out where they lived.  Claddagh would casually share the back yard, peeing on their pee, sniffing what the guest would sniff.  One time, a guest dog was super playful, and they ran around together, playing for the fifteen minutes it took for the dog’s family to arrive.

In all reality, I felt safer having Claddagh with me.  I haven’t really tested my fears in recent years, and it’s a scary prospect at re-exploring that side of me that has been dormant.  I’m not sure how I will be able to step back into it.

The idea to go camping came up a few weeks ago, and I really did want to go with Claddagh, but what I said was “If I go up to the mountains, I’m not going to want to come back down.”   That is really how I felt, that if we were to go back up there, that, that is where we would want to stay forever.   It’s like going back to the place you had a honeymoon, only you are returning solo.  All the magic that place may have held is no longer the same place.  You feel a haunted feeling, you see the ghosts of the past at every turn.  You turn to comment on the scene only to realize you are talking to yourself.

 

 

 

Conspiracy

In the last few years, a few of my closest friends have shown a disgust for how I think; when once it seemed that was one of their favorite attributes in my personality.

Perhaps they think that I think that the world is out to get us, or maybe that I have fear of my fellow human.  The word conspiracy has that effect on people, on purpose.   You are either “in” or “out” of it.  Those who stay out of it generally take what they are given verbatim without thinking too much about any of it, and then when the time is right, they regurgitate it in order to protect themselves.  It’s safe, it’s something to cling to and gosh darn it four out of five professional/experts/doctors/scientists agree.

Fact: We live in a hierarchical structure of natural  power. Humans interpret it as a Hierarchical structure of CONTROL.  (In Nature, a large cat could pounce on you and kill you in an instant.  In Man Made Control, you know that you don’t want to be killed by a large cat, and therefor you make legislation to limit the amount of cats thereby “humanely hacking Nature” so that you can “protect the human population that is growing into lands that large cats inhabit.”  You hire a good looking suit to deal with nitty-gritty nature (just an example of NOT working with nature and focusing solely on self preservation and growth from a safe citizen stand point.)

Why do you think a large cat might kill you, if it isn’t hungry?  It knows you are in their territory. Boundaries are real in biology. We kill wild animals like we kill “wild/ undomesticated” humans.  We invade and take over and kill the population down until it no longer feels like a threat to the agenda.  This shit is real, AND repetitive, folks.

No One becomes something out of nothing.  We live within a structure of levels; natural and imposed.  If you seek to ascend the levels, whether it is in a gang; tribe, pack, job, corp, MLM scheme, or even government… You gotta pay your dues and the work usually pays off by climbing the ladder.  Even our education system is built around passing tests and making the grade.

“Uhm did you even graduate?  But, like, did you GET your degree?” 

This construct of existence is embedded into us from conception and is further reinforced once we enter the world.

Fact:  Hierarchical structures will never lend to equality in any place but Nature, the Natural Way.

When I talk about equality, I am not talking about the subjective definition of “feminism” or Black Lives Matter movement.  I am talking about every living being, playing a fair field in survival and consequence. Nature is just as brutal as it is forgiving.  We don’t have to tell it what to do *edit*Yet there are things we can do that assist the natural order.  YES!  Arnica helps with bruises!  Yes!  Turmeric helps with inflammation and painNature also works with us, the natural organisms existing on it. (That doesn’t mean that humans aren’t trying to find a loophole or hack beyond that.  Google Cloud Seeding in Drought Areas.  We are in the heyday of humans trying to control the thing that naturally sustains their life without comment or opinion.)  This also means that sometimes certain people are struck by lightening more than once.  What does it mean when we have a conversation with nature or the world around us, and then integrate it into our present circumstances?   The process can actually share a lot of into.

Before there was democracy, there were kingdoms; Matriarchal societies, small tribes, councils, prophets, tribunals, cults and that one asshole snake oil salesman, etc.   Each society  has taken a stab at trying to control themselves and anyone in eye sight.    Even in small sedate groups of friends, you will find an “Alpha” that drives the dynamic.  There is a certain order to Nature that man seems to think he can perfect, as to streamline command in times of trouble or discomfort. (Note, usually the drive to do this is incredibly selfish and not at all about the greater collective.  The charisma drives the agenda.  This is how one good looking and well spoken person, can lead a “revolution” that is purely based on a selfish agenda.  If you look good; sound good, have money and press to back you, things can get Gold(en)). Everyone wants to be on the “Sunny Side of the Street.”  Currently we are sitting in a spit stew of people who have barreled forward this way.  The House Of Cards is Ready to Crumble.  Charisma and money are not a Savior.

This is not to say that Hierarchy is wrong; more so, it is to say that this is an unavoidable dynamic in the construct we not only collectively support, but also live in, and with some intro/retrospection, could probably address better as a collective.  As it stands, the one with the most money and sponsors wins; they win public opinion; they alter the course of research, and they justify the use, misuse or under-usage of that which belongs to ALL OF THE PEOPLE.

This may seem fair if you find agree-ability to an agenda or personality,  but it isn’t  fair at all due to the huge disparity of financial equity that holds this structure in place. ( I feel bad for people who send their spare $5 to a candidate that is given thousands if not millions by large corporations.  Do you feel like you are actually “contributing”?  Of course you feel “invested in a cause” if you send your last five dollars… you are scraping by as-is.  That five dollars was the last bit of hope you had wishing for a better future.  That must feel futile and draining.)

This dynamic is as old as time and will seemingly continue to play out in repeat until all of us get the clear picture of how this play continues in repeat.

Let me give you an example, since so many people are going to the polls today in places like California.

The program has always been:  VOTE!  Your VOTE matters!  YOU can Make a Difference!  Get to those polls!

If you were anything like me,  your first time voting, you did some research, got fired up and took to the poll box, only to find that the person you wanted to vote for was not on the ballot.  In the state of Wyoming where I took my first vote, they told me “If you write in a candidate, you lose your vote.”  (This would lend to my later years of not voting, because, like, am I really losing a vote if I don’t vote? Or am I voting by purposefully stepping out of the game?”)

People are increasingly getting disinterested in the voting aspect of politics because they know it can be hacked, and when your options are limited in a swing state, and you feel vehemently opposed to a candidate it isn’t a (personal) vote of the least offensive.  That is the crap about voting, it will always be polarized by the system and finacially supported by backers with the most cash=influence.   One that alone an election is always going to be in imbalance.

In that first voting experience I was CRUSHED! I was discouraged from writing in a vote.

I live in a swing state ( Highly influenced by the Electoral College), there was no use in putting in a vote for my choice ( at the time Ralph Nader).  I was two months into being 18 and the Presidency had been so hyped up that local politics was drowned out by mainstream division.  Despite being crushed, I tried again four years later in the same location, this time, giving the vote to someone on the ballot.  G.W.Bush.  I wanted my vote to count and I only had two options; not to mention Wyoming is obviously a Red State, and those comments in my first voteable election “shook” me.

During my second vote-able season I was involved in a non-denominational church , our church was on a hill over looking town by the notorious water tower… The night of the election we had bible study; we prayed over our town, while holding hands in a circle praying that GWB would make office.  During that prayer my hands were sweating and it felt like a very wrong thing to do.   A couple of handfuls later, 9/11 was a reality.

What happens when humans hijack natural hierarchy?

Nature,  when left to it’s own devices, does what Nature does.  It lives and dies; thrives and regresses, changes and adapts toward its best balance.

When man in his “so-called infinite wisdom”, attempts to dominate natural flow, it all comes back to bite… eventually.   I wonder if anyone else feels the pressure of impending pain, but not in the ways we are told it will play out.

I want you to meditate on this, because people immediately assume that if we didn’t have a man made power structure, that we would destroy ourselves or that Nature would take us out.  That conclusion in my opinion is only partially true.  Let me explain.

Nature seeks balance.  Man seeks dominance.  There is your TLDR.

Yes, if we relied on Natural Law, people would die.  They would die of stupidity, rage and over confidence.  They would also die naturally and accidentally like they already do.  People would still die the ways they have always died, but maybe even less often given our deathfood/ deathcare system, or maybe more, because it seems like there are a lot of imbalanced people existing in this world. This is not to say that I want people to die; it’s just fact that we all will, eventually.  When Nature seeks balance, it actually takes each one of us into account.  We don’t always see how that plays out for an individual.  A certain amount of trust is asked.  You may even call it “faith” or “karma”.  Ultimately it is the trust that “everything works out for the best”  “even shit can be turned into diamonds”.  (it’s all carbon, right?”)

It is to say that I think it is strange that any human could live on earth to be 20-100 years old and think they know better than the Earth knows itself, which has been around for as long as we know based on our biological data.  This is to say that despite how long we have been recording data, not one of us still has 100% substantial proof of how things actually operate.  (This goes for everything.  We know a fraction of what there is to “be known”.  Is anyone really an “expert?”)  Formulas, Math, Theories and Philosophies are a start, so where does this weird “control matrix” dominate the paradigms?

We can work with the Earth, we can try and work with it the best we can; but history shows it was programmed to ADAPT to almost anything (note, it hasn’t totally disappeared yet), as were humans and other animals/ biological organisms.  Our amazing ability to adapt has been both a blessing and a curse, depending on how you look at it.  We humans, seem to be the only entities commenting or making opinions about it (unless you follow Channels) The Earth Speaks, no doubt, but it really doesn’t care what you think nor does it take your opinion into account when it does what it does.

In my opinion; I view the Earth to be amazingly resilient and adaptable, full of humor and tragedy.  She actually seems like the LEAST LIKELY entity to ultimately self destruct when it comes to planetary biology.   People who think that ultimate planetary destruction by the planet’s upset alone have no basis for this planet reaching that end.  From what I can tell from history, our planet is SUPER FORGIVING.   It seems like a pretty pessimistic and “speck in the dust” kind of attitude to think that Earth is trying to shake us off of it like a disease.

I counter: that this “Man Made Hierarchy” is to blame for attitudes that lend to the aforementioned philosophy.  “Man, always thinks he can make everything better.”

“For what would the Earth be, without Man?”

Probably a pretty awesome self sustaining unit of balance.

“But what would Man be, without the Earth?”

Well He, She, It… wouldn’t exist.  Tell me again about the Center of the Universe and how we all live out selfish microcosms while neglecting the Macro Cosmic Truth;

None of this exists, as it is, if humans were not part of the equation. Their thoughts, feelings and input would be vacant in this greater space we call “Our Own, Our Home”.  Our greater Origin matters in the context of all things relevant in this modern society looking quite defunct under the microscope of function and relation.  Seeking in these little hubs of humanity, individuals grasping at balance.  Truly asking how they can adapt, change and work with the greater entity that sustains our fragile lives.

In Natural Law, the greatest power in construct, is CREATION itself.  The cosmic conscious pattern of play that is the overlay that creates the reality we call reality, either subjectively or objectively.  We become the centers of our own Universe by the construct of our minds.   We either agree or disagree on major and minor points, but at the end of the day we each have to go to bed with ourselves and our personal views.

In my observation, the Macro and Micro always reflect and somehow come back to center.  It is not chaos, it is not unorganized or random/coincidental.  Everything, Every Thought, Every Action follows a pattern that can be observed as above (telescope) or so below (microscope) and is filtered through a slit experiment of observation and opinion; further filtered by logic, rhetoric and reasoning.  There is no room for name calling (ad hominems), this isn’t a place for Devils advocate.  These are equal organisms sharing a home looking to support the best function and structure of the Home.

99% of what you think you should care about, doesn’t actually matter.  The 1% that matters, if you pay attention to it and tend to it, will ripple in effect 100 fold.

“Fix Yourself before you Try and Fix Others.”

When you fix your home, you feel more comfortable.  When you feel more comfortable, others immediately feel more comfortable with you, and doubly so when they are in your home.  Your body is your home.  Your mind is your home, your house is your home… your Earth is your home.  Treat yourself the way you would have others treat you.  Treat your home or Earth the way you would have others treat it. We are all seeking a certain amount of Trust.  It is a basis for strong foundations.

Fact:  We learn by example.

This speaks for itself.  Be conscious of those who influence you, and be aware of how you influence others. Be true to yourself, and seek Truth to share.

You may call conspiracy on me but the only conspiracy is silence and lies.

 

I’d love to start a podcast, or just continue writing on this topic, but the lash back from close people is hard.  Perhaps you are a follower and like topics like this… hit me up, send a donation, like the post or leave a comment.

I love the interaction and would love to see more of it.

Peace be with you beautiful people.