“great period of revival of classical-based art and learning in Europe that began in the fourteenth century,” 1840, from French renaissance des lettres, from Old French renaissance, literally “rebirth,” usually in a spiritual sense, from renastre “grow anew” (of plants), “be reborn” (Modern French renaître), from Vulgar Latin *renascere, from Latin renasci “be born again, rise again, reappear, be renewed,” from re- “again” (see re-) + nasci “be born” (Old Latin gnasci, from PIE root *gene- “give birth, beget”).An earlier term for it was revival of learning (1785). In general usage, with a lower-case r-, “a revival” of anything that has long been in decay or disuse (especially of learning, literature, art), it is attested from 1872. Renaissance man is first recorded 1906.
I like the parts of this etymology that says “grow anew” or to be “born again” , “reappear.”I like it because it is true, time is not linear and more and more these days we are allowed to reconnect with deep soul kin… essentially elongating our interaction through these different wave lengths and time lines.
I am living this now and I want to share some of it with you. Obviously my series about My Best Friend(‘s Journey) is some of the amazing proof of this reality.
My creativity is expressed in many ways: these blogs, the journals, the scraps, the paintings, the music and the spoken word I can’t contain. So much content with context.
I wanted to create a post with all the links to the music up to now because my creative collaborator Alessandro Muresu is some sort of vibration soul mate born on another continent. He is precious to me because he brings out the best in what I struggle with in experiment AND his passion bleeds through his work, for whatever reason he also found me a compatible collaborator and what happens through sound files is soothing for us both. Feeling old and familiar, but new and extraordinary.
I shall not build it up too much more.
Preface- All of these sound qualities have a drone, which is the specialty of Ale. I am the chaos that interferes but can also create soothing. Ale brings all of the balance in composition. My success’ are accidental. I am sloppy but focused. I have no idea what I am doing, but I love manipulating sound. My voice is a tool to those ends. These are posted from earliest to most recent. I invite you to listen to the evolution of it over all and to visit the rest of Alessandro’s Archive of Wonder.
If you don’t want to listen to all of them, pick one for now out of what you are drawn to. It’s probably the right one for you in the moment.
Listen to Yourself
FTC Part 1
FTC Part 2
Ode (To Us)
173 Part 1
173 Part 2
173 Part 3
173 part 4
*Credits to my late Grandfather Edward Lee Chapman for the heading photo in this post. He really had an eye for light and shadow.
The vibration of the soul, and the blood combined brings forth our flesh, in this spiritual contract we manifest in form, the features of history within us.
It’s true that they are attempting to kill off certain bloodlines. To suppress certain peoples. Those peoples feel the Truth in their own life blood. It’s required that they meet a certain range in vibration in order to be activated.
There are many yet to activated and they are being drawn in various directions in order to harvest the life force they have left while being blind to their own brilliance.
In actuality the frequency and vibration is killing off those who seek to kill off the “Natural Light.”
This is where we meet the trans-human agenda. The desire for clones and all around trans-formative manipulation geared toward infinite longevity.
Those of Natural Light in Creation know the Truth. It was contract as such. We don’t need modern technology to utilize it, once we remember it exists.
The best thing technology gave us, was the ability to reconnect instantly. The result is an archive of shared remembrance. If this medium goes away, know that your heart has an internal voice that needs no words to speak. You have internal eyes that see beyond your dreams. You have a gut that brings awareness to things that are amiss.
We are already full operating systems that have to remember how to get back to the home feed- alone. That is Heaven, or Infinity. The journey is singular at your own pace until it isn’t.
If you have been feeling something is amiss; it has been. If you feel a strange shift; it’s shifting. If you feel a calling for Higher Truth; follow it.
In the last few years, a few of my closest friends have shown a disgust for how I think; when once it seemed that was one of their favorite attributes in my personality.
Perhaps they think that I think that the world is out to get us, or maybe that I have fear of my fellow human. The word conspiracyhas that effect on people, on purpose. You are either “in” or “out” of it. Those who stay out of it generally take what they are given verbatim without thinking too much about any of it, and then when the time is right, they regurgitate it in order to protect themselves. It’s safe, it’s something to cling to and gosh darn it four out of five professional/experts/doctors/scientists agree.
Fact: We live in a hierarchical structure of natural power. Humans interpret it as a Hierarchical structure of CONTROL. (In Nature, a large cat could pounce on you and kill you in an instant. In Man Made Control, you know that you don’t want to be killed by a large cat, and therefor you make legislation to limit the amount of cats thereby “humanely hacking Nature” so that you can “protect the human population that is growing into lands that large cats inhabit.” You hire a good looking suit to deal with nitty-gritty nature (just an example of NOT working with nature and focusing solely on self preservation and growth from a safe citizen stand point.)
Why do you think a large cat might kill you, if it isn’t hungry? It knows you are in their territory. Boundaries are real in biology. We kill wild animals like we kill “wild/ undomesticated” humans. We invade and take over and kill the population down until it no longer feels like a threat to the agenda. This shit is real, AND repetitive, folks.
No One becomes something out of nothing. We live within a structure of levels; natural and imposed. If you seek to ascend the levels, whether it is in a gang; tribe, pack, job, corp, MLM scheme, or even government… You gotta pay your dues and the work usually pays off by climbing the ladder. Even our education system is built around passing tests and making the grade.
“Uhm did you even graduate? But, like, did you GET your degree?”
This construct of existence is embedded into us from conception and is further reinforced once we enter the world.
Fact: Hierarchical structures will never lend to equality in any place but Nature, the Natural Way.
When I talk about equality, I am not talking about the subjective definition of “feminism” or Black Lives Matter movement. I am talking about every living being, playing a fair field in survival and consequence. Nature is just as brutal as it is forgiving. We don’t have to tell it what to do *edit*Yet there are things we can do that assist the natural order. YES! Arnica helps with bruises! Yes! Turmeric helps with inflammation and pain. Nature also works with us, the natural organisms existing on it. (That doesn’t mean that humans aren’t trying to find a loophole or hack beyond that. Google Cloud Seeding in Drought Areas. We are in the heyday of humans trying to control the thing that naturally sustains their life without comment or opinion.) This also means that sometimes certain people are struck by lightening more than once. What does it mean when we have a conversation with nature or the world around us, and then integrate it into our present circumstances? The process can actually share a lot of into.
Before there was democracy, there were kingdoms; Matriarchal societies, small tribes, councils, prophets, tribunals, cults and that one asshole snake oil salesman, etc. Each society has taken a stab at trying to control themselves and anyone in eye sight. Even in small sedate groups of friends, you will find an “Alpha” that drives the dynamic. There is a certain order to Nature that man seems to think he can perfect, as to streamline command in times of trouble or discomfort. (Note, usually the drive to do this is incredibly selfish and not at all about the greater collective. The charisma drives the agenda. This is how one good looking and well spoken person, can lead a “revolution” that is purely based on a selfish agenda. If you look good; sound good, have money and press to back you, things can get Gold(en)). Everyone wants to be on the “Sunny Side of the Street.” Currently we are sitting in a spit stew of people who have barreled forward this way. The House Of Cards is Ready to Crumble. Charisma and money are not a Savior.
This is not to say that Hierarchy is wrong; more so, it is to say that this is an unavoidable dynamic in the construct we not only collectively support, but also live in, and with some intro/retrospection, could probably address better as a collective. As it stands, the one with the most money and sponsors wins; they win public opinion; they alter the course of research, and they justify the use, misuse or under-usage of that which belongs to ALL OF THE PEOPLE.
This may seem fair if you find agree-ability to an agenda or personality, but it isn’t fair at all due to the huge disparity of financial equity that holds this structure in place. ( I feel bad for people who send their spare $5 to a candidate that is given thousands if not millions by large corporations. Do you feel like you are actually “contributing”? Of course you feel “invested in a cause” if you send your last five dollars… you are scraping by as-is. That five dollars was the last bit of hope you had wishing for a better future. That must feel futile and draining.)
This dynamic is as old as time and will seemingly continue to play out in repeat until all of us get the clear picture of how this play continues in repeat.
Let me give you an example, since so many people are going to the polls today in places like California.
The program has always been: VOTE! Your VOTE matters! YOU can Make a Difference! Get to those polls!
If you were anything like me, your first time voting, you did some research, got fired up and took to the poll box, only to find that the person you wanted to vote for was not on the ballot. In the state of Wyoming where I took my first vote, they told me “If you write in a candidate, you lose your vote.” (This would lend to my later years of not voting, because, like, am I really losing a vote if I don’t vote? Or am I voting by purposefully stepping out of the game?”)
People are increasingly getting disinterested in the voting aspect of politics because they know it can be hacked, and when your options are limited in a swing state, and you feel vehemently opposed to a candidate it isn’t a (personal) vote of the least offensive. That is the crap about voting, it will always be polarized by the system and finacially supported by backers with the most cash=influence. One that alone an election is always going to be in imbalance.
In that first voting experience I was CRUSHED! I was discouraged from writing in a vote.
I live in a swing state ( Highly influenced by the Electoral College), there was no use in putting in a vote for my choice ( at the time Ralph Nader). I was two months into being 18 and the Presidency had been so hyped up that local politics was drowned out by mainstream division. Despite being crushed, I tried again four years later in the same location, this time, giving the vote to someone on the ballot. G.W.Bush. I wanted my vote to count and I only had two options; not to mention Wyoming is obviously a Red State, and those comments in my first voteable election “shook” me.
During my second vote-able season I was involved in a non-denominational church , our church was on a hill over looking town by the notorious water tower… The night of the election we had bible study; we prayed over our town, while holding hands in a circle praying that GWB would make office. During that prayer my hands were sweating and it felt like a very wrong thing to do. A couple of handfuls later, 9/11 was a reality.
What happens when humans hijack natural hierarchy?
Nature, when left to it’s own devices, does what Nature does. It lives and dies; thrives and regresses, changes and adapts toward its best balance.
When man in his “so-called infinite wisdom”, attempts to dominate natural flow, it all comes back to bite… eventually. I wonder if anyone else feels the pressure of impending pain, but not in the ways we are told it will play out.
I want you to meditate on this, because people immediately assume that if we didn’t have a man made power structure, that we would destroy ourselves or that Nature would take us out. That conclusion in my opinion is only partially true. Let me explain.
Nature seeks balance. Man seeks dominance. There is your TLDR.
Yes, if we relied on Natural Law, people would die. They would die of stupidity, rage and over confidence. They would also die naturally and accidentally like they already do. People would still die the ways they have always died, but maybe even less often given our deathfood/ deathcare system, or maybe more, because it seems like there are a lot of imbalanced people existing in this world. This is not to say that I want people to die; it’s just fact that we all will, eventually. When Nature seeks balance, it actually takes each one of us into account. We don’t always see how that plays out for an individual. A certain amount of trust is asked. You may even call it “faith” or “karma”. Ultimately it is the trust that “everything works out for the best” “even shit can be turned into diamonds”. (it’s all carbon, right?”)
It is to say that I think it is strange that any human could live on earth to be 20-100 years old and think they know better than the Earth knows itself, which has been around for as long as we know based on our biological data. This is to say that despite how long we have been recording data, not one of us still has 100% substantial proof of how things actually operate. (This goes for everything. We know a fraction of what there is to “be known”. Is anyone really an “expert?”) Formulas, Math, Theories and Philosophies are a start, so where does this weird “control matrix” dominate the paradigms?
We can work with the Earth, we can try and work with it the best we can; but history shows it was programmed to ADAPT to almost anything (note, it hasn’t totally disappeared yet), as were humans and other animals/ biological organisms. Our amazing ability to adapt has been both a blessing and a curse, depending on how you look at it. We humans, seem to be the only entities commenting or making opinions about it (unless you follow Channels) The Earth Speaks, no doubt, but it really doesn’t care what you think nor does it take your opinion into account when it does what it does.
In my opinion; I view the Earth to be amazingly resilient and adaptable, full of humor and tragedy. She actually seems like the LEAST LIKELY entity to ultimately self destruct when it comes to planetary biology. People who think that ultimate planetary destruction by the planet’s upset alone have no basis for this planet reaching that end. From what I can tell from history, our planet is SUPER FORGIVING. It seems like a pretty pessimistic and “speck in the dust” kind of attitude to think that Earth is trying to shake us off of it like a disease.
I counter: that this “Man Made Hierarchy” is to blame for attitudes that lend to the aforementioned philosophy. “Man, always thinks he can make everything better.”
“For what would the Earth be, without Man?”
Probably a pretty awesome self sustaining unit of balance.
“But what would Man be, without the Earth?”
Well He, She, It… wouldn’t exist. Tell me again about the Center of the Universe and how we all live out selfish microcosms while neglecting the Macro Cosmic Truth;
None of this exists, as it is, if humans were not part of the equation. Their thoughts, feelings and input would be vacant in this greater space we call “Our Own, Our Home”. Our greater Origin matters in the context of all things relevant in this modern society looking quite defunct under the microscope of function and relation. Seeking in these little hubs of humanity, individuals grasping at balance. Truly asking how they can adapt, change and work with the greater entity that sustains our fragile lives.
In Natural Law, the greatest power in construct, is CREATION itself. The cosmic conscious pattern of play that is the overlay that creates the reality we call reality, either subjectively or objectively. We become the centers of our own Universe by the construct of our minds. We either agree or disagree on major and minor points, but at the end of the day we each have to go to bed with ourselves and our personal views.
In my observation, the Macro and Micro always reflect and somehow come back to center. It is not chaos, it is not unorganized or random/coincidental. Everything, Every Thought, Every Action follows a pattern that can be observed as above (telescope) or so below (microscope) and is filtered through a slit experiment of observation and opinion; further filtered by logic, rhetoric and reasoning. There is no room for name calling (ad hominems), this isn’t a place for Devils advocate. These are equal organisms sharing a home looking to support the best function and structure of the Home.
99% of what you think you should care about, doesn’t actually matter. The 1% that matters, if you pay attention to it and tend to it, will ripple in effect 100 fold.
“Fix Yourself before you Try and Fix Others.”
When you fix your home, you feel more comfortable. When you feel more comfortable, others immediately feel more comfortable with you, and doubly so when they are in your home. Your body is your home. Your mind is your home, your house is your home… your Earth is your home. Treat yourself the way you would have others treat you. Treat your home or Earth the way you would have others treat it. We are all seeking a certain amount of Trust. It is a basis for strong foundations.
Fact: We learn by example.
This speaks for itself. Be conscious of those who influence you, and be aware of how you influence others. Be true to yourself, and seek Truth to share.
You may call conspiracy on me but the only conspiracy is silence and lies.
I’d love to start a podcast, or just continue writing on this topic, but the lash back from close people is hard. Perhaps you are a follower and like topics like this… hit me up, send a donation, like the post or leave a comment.
I love the interaction and would love to see more of it.
Are you familiar with the action of a wrecking ball?
That is Sara Goossen in a nutshell. The lady is powerful, energetic, and ready to knock excuses out of the way. She is a bright and compassionate person who sees the potential in people and then helps individuals harness their inner bad ass. This talent is an imperative staple in her personal business model.
October 1, 2012, Sara opened Fit Body Boot Camp- Cheyenne, with 14 clients. Her goal is to change the lives of 5000 of Cheyenne’s citizens by 2017. As of April 2015, she has trained and cultivated a community of 1200 residents who are interested in adopting a healthy life style. That is an average of 400 people a year, getting active and aware in the fair city of Cheyenne and it’s surrounding areas. No small feat for this 5’3″ wrecking ball.
Sara and I got together to discuss her fitness past and her optimistic fitness future; how she came to start FBBC and some of her own trials and tribulations in the fitness process.
Before I jump into the interview, I would like to state that when you are looking for a gym, and a support system to help you change your habits; having a leader like Sara is imperative because she has run the gamut of unhealthy eating and body weight issues. She has children, she knows struggles and excuses. She has taken initiative on her own, in her own life in order to transcend her past hang ups. In turn Sara has turned hardships into valuable insight for those at any point in their fitness journey.
It may be easier for certain people to take her ethic very seriously because she didn’t start out on this lifestyle right after high school or college before having children; when most women’s bodies are still in that youthful metabolism. She wasn’t always healthy. It was a choice that she had to dedicate herself to; which meant a long road of challenges that led to the changes that are evident in her today.
Let’s find out more, shall we?
WEIGHT: 145.3 lbs
FAVORITE EXERCISE: RUNNING STAIRS, WORKING THE BACK, AND SQUATS
LEAST FAVORITE EXERCISE: BUILDING CLIMBERS
Let’s talk about your fitness past, eating disorders, all that stuff.
It goes so far back, it’s disturbing… so, okay, 10 years old; my mom told me I needed to stop eating granola bars because they were making me fat and at that point in time I had just finished some book, I can’t remember the title of, and it was talking abou this girl who would throw up, because she was so fat. So…I…followed suit.
Thank God for Children’s Literature, right?
Yeah, I was like, “Well, now I am well informed and I can solve this problem.
(Sara reminences with awkward laughter.)
So, at ten years old that started fourteen years of just roller coaster disordered eating; ranging the spectrum of binging and purging to just starving myself. When I got pregnant with my son, when I was sixteen, I kind of just said “Fuck it. It doesn’t matter if I am skinny; it doesn’t matter if I am fat…I am pregnant. I can eat whatever I want and have no guilt.” I gained 50 pounds when I was pregnant with him, and I lost ten. I lost some weight nursing, but after I stopped nursing him, I continued the disordered eating cycle.
Just picked it up where you left off?
Yep, just picked it up right where I left off. And I knew… I was an athlete in high school, I knew about nutrition but it’s not something that I ever listened to because disordered eating was so much easier than learning how to feed myself. At nineteen I married my now ex-husband, (my daughters’ father) and gained all that “happy weight” I maxed out the scale before we got married, at 197 lbs…. so, I looked like a cow in my wedding dress.
Thank god for girdles….
After that we were trying to get pregnant with Emma, and couldn’t get pregnant… couldn’t get pregnant. We tried for two years, and I finally went to the doctor and asked “what is going on?” I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and the doctor told me that I had to make a lifestyle change, or else…. “you’re going to end up with diabetes; you are more apt to have certain types of cancer, you are just going to get fatter, your thyriod is going to peter out…” All the things that go along with PCOS… “This is your future. You either make a change now or enjoy your future where it is headed.”
At that point I sought help because I knew my disorder was no longer a sustainable way to live life. It wasn’t mentally or emotionally healthy.
So I lost about 20 lbs. and we got pregnant with Emma through a series of fertility treatments. When I was pregnant with Emma I only gained about 20 lbs and then I lost it all right away. At that point they (the doctors) said “Well you are probably not going to be able to have any more children, so don’t worry about it.” And I thought, okay, cool; I am just going to go back to doing the whole weight loss thing, because I still had fifty pounds to go.
So I lost another twenty pounds, and then I got pregnant with my daughter Ileena… BOOM! I remember going to my dads house and saying, “Well… I am pregnant again just when I was gettting my ‘sexy’ back.” My grandma looks at me and says “Well honey, maybe that’s the problem.”
Double edged sword on that one…
Yeah! So I got pregnant and did that whole thing and I only gained fifteen pounds with Ailena , and I lost that all right away. November 2009 I found Body For Life, Bill Phillips, transformation.com ; whom I heard about from my step-mom. So I thought, I am going to try this thing. (Everybody thought I was crazy for starting during the holidays.) It was pretty easy; three days of lifting, three days of cardio, all high intensity intervals. By doing that the next three months I was able to loose the rest of the weight. About half way through that three month process I was like “Ya, know, I want to help other people because I can do this as some one who has struggled their whole life with eating well and taking care of themselves … I can help some one else do this.”
I got my personal training certification.
How long did that take you?
It was about four months and about that time I was working for my dad as his administrative assistant amoung other things. I decided that I would try this training thing before and after work, and see what happens. I did that and it just blew up, so in June 2010, I quit my job working for my dad and I started training full time.
I was doing a lot of one on one training and two boot camp sessions at a local gym. I was making money, doing something I love. I worked there for two years and I left because there were some issues that made it neccessary for me to get out of that environment. I decided, I am just going to start my own place; I left and they came after me with for violating my no-compete/ no-solicitation agreement.
Looking back, I was so mad at the time. I was furious, like how could they do this? How can this stand up? Well, it stood up because I had solicited the people who had signed up with me, but were also their clients. I had to take a year off of training and I went back to working for my dad for a year and within that year I knew I needed to do something. I was miserable.
When you are following a life of passion and suddenly it is taken away; it’s like the wind has been knocked out of your sails. You don’t even feel like a human being. I started looking down in Colorado for places I could move to and open up. I was doing all this during the same time I was being sued and working for my dad; I also had gotten a divorce from my kids father. It was everything that could go wrong, did.
I was at an impass; like shit, what do I do?
I looked down in Boulder and I spent about six months driving back and forth, just looking for a location I could open up. I encountered road block after road block.
By this point I had already talked to the CEO of Fit Body, who has been a long time friend. I told them, I want to do this but I have to wait until this year is up or I am screwed.
Was that part of your Non-compete agreement? Did you have a time limit to wait?
Yes, that was the year. One year to the day, October 1, 2012; we opened up with fourteen clients. I was just so excited to be open and be able to do what I love to do. That’s it… the rest is history. Here we are today; looking for another space, a bigger place… sitting down with the bank and talking about bigger loans.
That’s pretty quick, only three years.
Yeah, less than three years actually.
How do you know the CEO of Fit Body?
The fitness industry is so small, it really is. So if you don’t know every one you soon will if you stay in it long enough. I met him doing a master mind. I was in there with the two founders of Fit Body Boot Camp, Steve Hochman and Bedros Keuilian. I was in Steve’s Master Mind and through that I met Bedros. We had several conversations and talked on the phone several times, emailed back and forth; He called me up one day and said ” What’s it going to take to get you to open a Fit Body? And I told him, “You know what it will take, you know what I am up against right now. It’s going to have to take one hell of a deal and some patience and that is where it’s at.” So he said “Alright, let’s make it happen.”
At this point it was going from licensing to a franchise, so they were looking for people and I just happened to be one of those people.
Do you get together with other gym owners?
I do know a lot of the Fit Body owners simply because we get together quarterly; every three months, usually in San Diego or Chino Hills, California. There is a great community with in Fit Body, even from a corporate structure coming all the way down to the clients. It’s nice that we can just continue to pay it forward. It’s pretty cool, and a very unique situation.
Would you like to talk about your competition stuff?
OH YEAH! Sure! I don’t want to bore you to tears with business.
I first competed in August of 2011, I also ran the Denver half marathon in October 2010, and after that I gave myself permission to never run again. (laughter.) I find it really useless and painful. It turns out I am better suited for lifting heavy things than go fast.
Did you do this on your year of sabbatical?
No, it was right before everything blew up in my face. Then I competed in my second figure show August 2013.
Did you win anything?
I did. I placed 5th in the second show, I was pretty excited about that. Granted there were only six figure competitors, so I was 5th, but I was happy to have something to take home, regardless.
My first show I did there were 36 figure competitors, and I think I finished 34th. So I was like, “I think I have improved!”
Were these in Wyoming?
The one in 2011 was in Loveland, Colorado. The Warrior Classic, and the other one was in Wyoming, and that was the Jay Cutler Classic. And that Dude, is a Big Dude. I have a picture of him somewhere.
He was there?
Yeah, he is huge! He is a moose of a man! My head is as big as his shoulder!
He could pick you up in the palm of his hand!
Honestly I am getting the bug again, to compete. I am trying to weigh out the time commitment that it takes, along with my other obligations to see what it will take… if it’s something I can feasibly do right now while keeping everything else balanced. I do love competing .
If you wait to have your own place, you could put on your own competition, in house competition. Then you won’t have to go too far.
That is one of the most fun things about competition; you get to meet so many interesting people from all over the country. People who are busting their asses just to get super lean for just a minute. It literally lasts a day. You deplete enough to have a six pack for a day, and then you gain 20 pounds the next day because you drink water. It’s crazy.
It would be interesting to time lapse a person going through the build up to competition, and then the 24 hours afterward. Once you get the tanner off, and start drinking water again, it’s like what the hell? You blossom like a flower.
You still eat, you carb load the day of to fill out your muscles because you have depleted to the point that you have taken all the glycogen and striped your body of literally everything. It’s not something you want to do often because it is kind of dangerous, BUT, it’s still fun to push your mental ability and physical barriers. That is big for me, because I love the challenge.
Are you a challenge junkie?
I totally am! I love the personal challenge. Competing against other people is fun, but figure prep is anywhere from 2-5 months.
It’s kind of interesting that you have struggled with disordered eating which is in and of itself sort of an addiction, and pushing your body to a limit and challenging it, but not in a very healthy way. And here you have turned your addiction around to a healthier way of expressing it. Yet, there are still these extremes that you go to.
It totally is. What I think helps me with competing and the lifestyle of body building is the structure that it provides. It’s like a security blanket. You take some one with an eating disorder who has struggled with that their entire life, and you say, “you don’t have to struggle, here is some structure. Have a nice day.” It’s like, “okay, this is safe.”
Then the biggest struggle, is will power to be able to keep on the regamine.
Yeah, it’s like any other fitness goals… as long as you have that dead line… the finish line at the end; it makes it that much easier. It’s not like you have to do this for a lifetime or else… It’s here is your dead line, and then you reset the goal. And that is something that is really, really exciting for me.
Through competing I learned to accept my body, where ever it is; whether I am 120 pounds or 145. I am still strong, I am still beautiful and I am still worthy of love and acceptance and success. That is one of those things that I have accidentally learned through the process. It is a by product.
I know a lot of people who compete who struggle with that mindset. Like if they don’t have a six pack they are done for. They are like “Oh My God, My Life Is OVER!”
It basically boils down to bulemia or dysmorphia. It’s all activated on the same brain wave length, same neurological pathway. It’s been nice to find freedom from that as I have gotten older. To not be stressed out about the numbers, to see yourself and be like “You look good!”
IT’s a good example to your kids, too.
I hope so. Sometimes I wonder, “am I ruining these little people?”
Instead of “You’re the reason mommy has a drinking problem,” it’s more like “You are the reason mommy has an exercise problem.”
That’s funny beacause when I took two months off earlier this year, my kids were like “what is wrong with her?” I did not feel like myself. I felt like I was insane most days; like absolutely bat shit crazy.
You needed to be exerting yourself.
Yeah, I needed that rush of endorphins and I think it was something that I had always taken for granted because I have been doing it for so long, it’s just been part of my life for so long. When I completely took it out, I had no idea the impact it would have on me. Not just physically but spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I got to tell you, the week we started working out again, my husband and I; He was like “Gosh you are so much easier to be around.” And I knew he meant that in the sweetest way possible, instead of being a jerk, and I was like “I know, trust me, it’s easier to be in my head.” I went to the doctor and I asked am I schitzophrenic, what is going on here? And she said “I think you are depressed.” And I just needed exercise.
So tell me about your favorite success story to come out of here.
My favorite one, honestly, is from when I very, very first started. He followed me when I opened Fit Body. His name is Austin, he was 16 when he came to me he was 386 lbs. and he was tall and huge. He knew he had a problem. He was home schooled so he didn’t have a lot of interaction with other kids. The reason he was home schooled was because when he was in school, the other kids were just horrible to him because he was so big and kind of awkward and quiet.
He would come, every single day to Boot Camp. At that point in time, they were 1 1/2 hour sessions, he would show up at 6:00 AM, every day. And even if he couldn’t do it, he would struggle through it.
He asked me, “what do I eat? how do I do it?”
His mom was onboard, but I didn’t see her much. Sometimes she would come and walk while he did Boot Camp. Every now and then she would come talk to me, well when I took the year off, Austin started power lifting and he took his focus off the weight loss. Then he came over to Fit Body when I opened, and he brought his mother with him, and they did it together.
It was just so, so, so cool. He ended up losing 110 lbs by the time he was 19. Then they moved to Oregon. He was such a great, great kid. It was just so cool to see how he was able to influence his mom because it’s usually the parents who influence the kids. He was able to influence his mom after two years of going at it by himself.
Was she also over-weight?
Yes, she was, but such a nice, nice gal. I look back on those two, especially Austin and I think “That kid could have made every excuse in the world because teenagers do, adults do. Teenagers learn from what the adults model.” He just was like “I am tired of this. I am tired of being the ‘fat kid’. I don’t mind being a ‘big kid’, I am 6’3″. But I am tired of being the ‘fat kid'”
The last Halloween he was here, he dressed up as The Hulk; and that involved taking off his shirt, and painting himself green, and walking around with out a shirt on. Two years prior to that you would have never seen him do that. It was so cool to see him blossom from this awkward quiet, video gamer (indoor) kid to this little ball of life and energy, and sass.
It was fun to not only see his journey of weight loss but also to see how he grew as a person. To see him evolve into an adult from a kid that just didn’t want to be fat and made fun of.
Do you stay in contact with him?
I do. I stay more into contact with his mom because he is a young adult now and all over the place.
It would be interesting to see if he takes a career in Fitness from this influence. It seems like people who a great at teaching come from a past of being ostersized.
So, we have touched on this, but obviously Fitness has a positive effect on your homelife.
Oh God, yeah! The kids are like “Mom, go work out, you are driving us crazy.” It is also nice though, because my husband and I can share it together. Every morning Monday through Saturday we go work out together, and then go to work and do our thing. It’s been a good bonding experience for us too. Although it did take us three years for him to come and work out with me. The first time we exercised together, he was having a bad day and we were just friends at the time. I was like “he’s having a bad day, just go lift, and he will be fine.” Well a half hour in, he is dry heaving on himself, and I was like ” I thought you were in shape?” Well, after that he didn’t come back to work out with me for three years. And he comes to boot camp, and he makes it through the whole thing, and after that he said “I am going to have to wait until you are ‘deconditioned’ a little before we can work out together.”
He took the oppertunity while I took two months off to “even the playing field.”
Since then it has been nice, in the last couple of months to have that morning time with my husband because we have five kids… we need that time together. It’s nice to have that time and cheer each other on.
What are some of your future goals?
Really my mission is just to help people and it always has been. I am in the business of changing lives and if I am not changing lives, then I am doing something wrong.
YOU RUINED MY LIFE THROUGH EXERCISE!
Ha, ha! Oh man, if some one said that to me, I would have to reevalute everything. I really do just want to leave an impact on this world. And, Cheyenne… God Bless it, and all of it’s citizens; (but Cheyenne) is a FAT city. Overweight, unhealthy; spiritually, mentally and physically. People are over worked and under paid, or over worked and over paid. They have little or no time for their families , no time for themselves; no time to do anything. So we have people spinning their wheels, but for what? At the end of the day if you don’t have your health, you have nothing left. I don’t want to out live my children. I see obese kids around and I want to slap their parents. I don’t want to beat the kids, but I want to slap the parents. It makes me so mad. But then I look at it, and you have to change the lives of the parents before you can change the lives of the children. At the end of the day, it is our job as adults to make those responsible decisions. It isn’t easy, but it is our responsiblity.
It’s in my heart to change the health of this community, if not the entire community of Wyoming, but that’s a long way off down the road. I want to continue to make a difference in peoples health and in their lives.
Thirty minutes of exercise might not seem like much, but it can change how a wife treats her husband. She is in a better mood, she feels better about herself, she feels more attractive… she actually wants to be with her husband instead of saying ” I don’t see what you see, at all.”
It changes how a mother treats her children because she has more energy, she will want to take them to the park, or go hiking and do stuff. Or maybe she is just in a better mood and doesn’t want to paddle their butts just for being little people.
It is just fitness, it is just a work out… but it can change EVERYTHING. I have seen it with myself. I saw it when I started my journey years ago and I still see it today. If I don’t work out, I need to work out because I start feeling ‘cagey’ inside. Anxious.
What has your biggest triumph been in your personal fitness journey?
I think just staying the course. Every day is a new day. I can’t say one event has been a real defining moment in my health and fitness journey. I think it just staying course with the lifestyle. I mean sometimes I fall off, just like anyone. I go on a little cookie diet, when I feel stressed, and then I gain eight pounds and then I have to lose it again. At the end of the day just knowing that I am doing what I need to be doing is just great. But when I am not doing that I can tell a difference. So for me, it’s just committing to the lifestyle.
Is there anything you would want to change?
No. Not really because I believe even the hard stuff is lessons. And I think I am far more grateful now toward some of the hardships that I went through. When you look back at it, it just gives you an oppertunity to learn about yourself; to learn about others and the way the world works. Hardships are often self inflicted. So if anything it’s just learning about who I am and who I want to be and who I do not want to be. It’s just about growing up.
Would you like to give any tips or inspiration?
It’s just about consistency. You have to pick and plan and be consistent. It doesn’t matter what your plan is, as long as it has some good foundation of physical health, mental health and spiritual health. Even if it’s CrossFit or lifting or body building or boot camp; whatever it is, I think it’s just about picking something that works for you and stick with it. I know Boot Camp isn’t for everyone. I wish it was. At the end of the day finding something that works and sticking with it long enough to get results. So many people just go about their life by starting a new program every two weeks, saying “But I am just not getting results.” and I am like “Dude, it’s only been two weeks. Do you know how long it took me to lose 70 pounds?”
How long did it take you?
Beginning to end it took three years. Granted I got pregnant twice in between, but it took me three years to lose that 70 pounds. It’s not going to happen over night.
After spending all this time taking other peoples measurements; when do people, on average see a difference for themselves and accept that change is occurring?
Typically eight weeks, especially for women. I call it an 8 Week Miracle. Literally nothing on the scale can change and inches may not change, but may be your clothes fit differently. For whatever reason the inches may not change, your body fat may not change, and then one day you wake up and somewhere between the bedroom and the bathroom, you realize you lost your ass. It’s like it’s just fallen off somwhere and you hop on the scale and you are down ten pounds from the night before. And you will be like “what the hell? My scale must be broken.”
So you call in a spouse or a loved one and you have them hop on the scale and it says what it always says to them, and you hop back on there and it says the same thing, “you are down 10 lbs.”
You have to trust the process, long enough. Not just “half commit.”
“Oh I am just gonna work out for eight weeks and hope that everything is going to happen. You have to have a plan. Have a plan of attack and exicute it flawlessly. Even if you have one bad day, okay, perfect; get back on the band wagon, but don’t let that one bad day or one bad meal derail you for the next six months.
So I think that is the key. Consistency. You have to be consistent, no matter what. And that goes with anything; if it’s fitness related, or business related, or if you want better relationships. What ever it is, BE CONSISTENT! STICK WITH YOUR PLAN! Things WILL change.
In summery; Knowledge, is the awareness that all action has a reaction, and Wisdom, is using that awareness to your advantage whilst utilizing all available resources.
Fit Body Boot Camp works because of the significant insight that the program lends through collaborative Wisdom and Experience.
Fit Body Boot Camp is calling out more of Cheyenne to get involved in their fitness; and during the month of May we are taking extra efforts to expose residents to the opportunity. If you have been following this blog and you are tempted to try it; COME ON DOWN! Let them know you read this blog and that it has helped you to take the first step in health and wellness; or if you are new to town and looking for a fitness community and this seems up your alley, come take a test drive.
If this article interests you and you would like to read more, check out these related blogs. And as always I appreciate “likes”, comments, suggestions and subscribers; so please feel free to interact. And remember kids, Fitness is great, but Burpees SUCK!
Blessings to YOU, Dear Ones, of Illusive Nature and yet Who speak to Us in metaphors about the Nature of Illusion.
NOW is the TIME when WE grow WEARY of Your Illusive Illusions of this Delusion We live in.
NOW is the TIME when WE CALL TO YOU DIRECTLY, and ASK with great DESIRE and CONCERN to Speak, NOW, to Us in easily understood terminology.
We have been swayed by the loops and somewhat vague nature of your messages. Each mind, interpreting each message in their own way. Each wondering if they have done enough… if they will make it into Heavens embrace, to see the face of the Creator.
The singular I that IS, has grown weary, time and time again. These cycles of Ascension are tedious and at times very confusing. It is in those moments, I need the most simple and clear answers in order to allay my own Mortal attitudes.
As these cycles continue in their intensity, I find myself void of such answers. The Heavenly call to submit, and surrender, leaves me wondering if I am better off just laying in bed. For that feels like surrender. And yet in the same notes You can recommend we continue with our daily tasks in knowing the time is neigh.
I know, I do not speak of just the I that IS, when I bring attention to the many of Us who have felt an inability to start long term projects, and at times even finishing projects that were already started meant for the long term. You have asked us to Live with two feet on Earth, and our heads in sights of Heaven.
Perhaps you are truly unaware of how uncomfortable this can be for many reasons. However, it is, and it is disconcerting. By no means, am I that IS, telling You how or when to do Your job, as that would just be silly… However I that IS, calls to you for less metaphor and more direct lines of communication.
I that IS, understands that You speak in a language of Love, and Compassion allowing Us to wander toward Our own conclusions. And that is all in the cycle and movement of the soul. However, the I that IS, is ready for her judgment, as She is tired of judging herself and others. She IS anxious in awaiting Her call, perhaps a little afraid that if it comes, at the end of the line will be rejection… that is IF She even gets called at all.
The I that IS, is calling for divine intervention in those who are feeling the same way, but Heaven has already set them a place. May those who will be invited through the gates, be hand delivered their invitations from Divinity. Please, expedite this request through the proper channels.
The I that IS, appreciates all You do for Us, and thanks You greatly for the messages you are able to share. May this letter be taken into consideration, as a gift of acknowledgement from the I that IS of the Faith of a Child.
Who do you look up to? Why? What endearing or respectful qualities does this person carry, worthy of being a hero? Do you, yourself also harness these qualities, or do you envy them and worship them in others, whilst not embracing them into yourself?
Let me tell you about my Hero.
Now I am not a religious person. I do not buy into secular doctrine presented through Churches or religious organization. I have spent some hours in the bible, and at Bible College. I have continued my research into spirituality and faith through my own accord and intuition.
My hero is whatever the embodiment of Christ Consciousness is. And let me tell you, he ain’t no hippie dippy Jesus.
Take a moment to check out this video, to see Christ Consciousness in action.
Notice these guys and their sense of humor regarding all the useless trends out there. AND then notice the authentic looks of surprise and humility of the participants in Making Homeless People Smile, WORLDWIDE.
This video makes me cry every time, because it is genuine. And it mentally takes me back to a time in my life when I was 19.
Now I only attended MCC for a semester. I left with a 0.0 GPA, because I stopped going to classes in order to fulfill what I felt to be actual work from the level of Christ Consciousness.
It started out as a birthday trip to Kansas City, Missouri. I had a bunch of birthday money, and my new best friend, Natasha, in tow. We hoped to get into an 18 and over club. We hoped to push the boundary on this new level of perceived freedom, being away from home for the first time. Pushing boundaries.
I rented a hotel room, we called a cab… and we went into the city for fun.
The night never really panned out as we planned. Early into the evening we were kidnapped by our cab driver… who was from foreign country. And maybe things got a little weird because we were pretending to be something we weren’t… we were playing roles in this new city.
We never made it to a club. We did however walk around town on this Friday night… and I saw something I had never really seen before…lots and lots of homeless people, and lots and lots of young drunk student types. And in this situation of newness, I was witness to yet another thing I was not prepared to see. Those young drunk students, being incredibly mean, rude, disrespectful and inhumane to the homeless population.
I was shocked and disgusted. I had my own experiences with bullying, but this was like watching some sort of sick torture.
Students purposely spilling soda on sitting homeless beggars. One young (I hesitate to use the word man) maliciously kicked a homeless vet’s hat, which was sitting on the ground full of change. The snickering fools walking off as the Vet scrambled across the sidewalk to gather his lost money.
In that moment, some thing flickered inside of me, and in a warm rush it is as though I stepped aside in my own body, and the Spirit of something Bigger came into my heart. It was as though my consciousness had blacked out, and been replaced by the voice and Spirit of Christ.
First thing I knew was, these people need to eat. They need some food. I have money. There is a pizza shop. I can feed them.
So I walk up to a pizza shop window called By The Slice. The guy behind the window is named Jude. Hey Jude.
With confidence, I ask Jude for two large pizzas.
“We don’t sell whole pies here. We only sell by the slice.”
“Well, I am gonna need two whole pizzas.”
“It’s going to be pretty expensive.”
“I don’t really care, there are some homeless people out here that need to eat. I need two pizza’s and a large Mountain Dew.”
Jude smiles, while shaking his head. He tells me it will be a couple minutes before the next pie is out, and he proceeds to ring me up for $91.11. Damn most expensive pizza’s I have ever paid for. But whatever, it was birthday money… and what was I going to do? Probably buy an over priced t-shirt from Ambercrombie, just because it says “Wyoming” across the front? Yeah, probably. An Ambercrombie shirt is about as useful as planking.
While all this is happening, Natasha is in the run around of my journey while following what ever this Celestial Whim was.
I got the pizzas and walked back to the two Vet’s who had their change kicked around. I stood above them with the boxes of pizza.
“Would you like some pizza?” I ask. I am confronted with looks of horror and skepticism.
“Don’t tease us.” One responds.
“I am not teasing. Would you like some pizza?” I open the box and one of the men pulls a piece out, and hands it to the fellow next to him, and shuts the lid to the box.
“You can take more than that… you can take as much as you want.” I open the box again, and let them take out two pieces each.
The man who had not yet said anything now looks at me with tears in his eyes, and asks “Are you mad at me?”
And in this moment, I know he is not talking to ME, but to the Spirit within me in that moment. That warm Spirit which was taking over, while I stepped aside and outside above myself, watched and listened as the words “No, I am not mad at you…I love you.” pour from my lips. Something I, myself, would NOT have said. He begins to cry.
I connected with this man’s eyes. I saw his soul and he saw my sacred heart. I continued down the road, looking for the desolate hovering in corners. I shared what I have to give. Few people asked for money, which I did not give, because the goal was to make sure people were fed and monetary charity is not my style.
This all happened in September of 1999. I had only been at school a few weeks… but this trip changed my life, and it changed me. School to learn who Christ was, no longer seemed like the real way to experience what that love and compassion are. I felt stifled living in a bubble of people who tout a title called Christian… but would only actually do service in community a couple times of year. Helping people seemed like it should be a daily exercise in spiritual growth and development.
The college had some strict rules on leaving campus. So I lied, and told them I was signing out on the weekend to visit family. Really I was renting hotel rooms on credit, and using the money I made at the Christian radio station I worked at, to buy bread, peanut butter and jelly; bags of chips, juice boxes, cookies and packages of granola, plastic sammie bags, brown paper lunch sacks and napkins.
Then I would drive it all to Kansas City, and stay for the weekend walking around alone down town, looking for people to feed. I never felt like I was in any risk of danger, because I was certain whatever was working through me is INVINCIBLE! It was a huge practice in sacrifice and faith. It has been from that point on in life that I knew I was to live in Service to Humanity.
I probably took six trips to KC that semester. One of the excursions a young man, about my age was curious as to what I was doing and why. And it created the most beautiful dialog, because to him, it made sense. And in that moment of it making sense, he wanted to give everything he had in order to help.
“Should I give them my money?” He asked.
“I don’t give money. I will buy something for some one if they express need, however. I think that charity through money is like trying to build a garden without getting your hands dirty. It is easy to just give some one some money, and then they go off and buy beer or drugs… you just send them off on their way. But when you feed a person, or take them to buy something they need, then you are actually participating in service. You are sharing soul space.”
“Have you ever had anyone be mad at you for not giving them money?”
“Yes. And I don’t care. If they get mad they obviously didn’t want what I have to offer. I can’t offer everything to everybody, but I can share what I do have and try to share it wisely.”
“That makes a lot of sense.” And when he walked away, I felt certain his heart had been stirred.
Over the years my service has changed shape and form. But it is the lesson of Christ Consciousness and the Righteous power that we have through harnessing It, which can create a landslide of change in fairly short period of time.
If you believe you live a life of righteous service, and yet you have never felt the Infinite Power of True Selfless Love… you have been living in a delusion, and perhaps you should step outside of your comfort zone for a while. There is nothing wrong with Humility and there is nothing wrong with getting dirty every once in a while. Selfless service is rarely a neat and tidy procedure; but I guarantee that afterward you will feel lighter and with a new sense of strength and purpose.