I don’t remember the exact year that Maggie came into my life. She was a childhood dog. I think I must have been nine or ten; My first childhood dog Pepper, was reaching up there in age and I suppose my parents thought it was a good idea to bring in another dog so the death transition wasn’t too traumatic for young children who had their mother die.
There is no way I would ever be thinking about this if it wasn’t for the here and now, and the timeless nature of things.
Okay, so, Maggie was a Brittany Spaniel my folks picked up from the local shelter. She was young and energetic… she really liked to jump up on people, which is an “unwanted behavior”. I was at an age where I had to perform chores for an allowance, and one of those chores was picking up dog shit. I would try and have fun with Maggie as I cleaned up the dog yard. One of the things I would do is try and get her to not jump up on me, that is like dog 101.
Maggie didn’t have a super long life. She died in my New Kids On the Block blanket, it was my prized possession about the time she came into our life. It seemed right she passed on in it.
I didn’t realize that I have been working with her too. I never thought of her as “my dog.” I wasn’t allowed to even if I wanted to. She was a “family dog.” Probably so that my brother and I didn’t argue about such nuance. I’ve literally been picking up animal poop in some capacity for the last 28 years. You only do that stuff for true love, and in return, a true Love will try and make that as easy on you as possible if they are aware of how you struggle with it.
Maggie knew that I thought picking up crap was horrible, but I think she also sensed my magic and imagination tied to the desire to try and make a miserable task bearable. True durability of connection.
When I was a kid, I wanted an animal of my own SO BAD! I wanted something that was my own that I loved deeply. When I finally was able to do that- the situation was so weird.
I rescued a meat rabbit from the neighbors. They had hired me to feed their animals while they were out of town and I fell for one of their rabbits. So my dad built a hutch and I was able to have this Hunny Bunny. She was reddish and had a black accent and this little bald mole spot above and to the side of her right eye. It was that spot that made me want her.
Our relationship didn’t work out. She definitely needed more attention, and she had to sleep outside in the hutch all of the time. It isn’t the way I would treat a bunny. But my parents were more about having domestic “outside” animals and rules for things like that. I wanted to cuddle with furballs.
I remember telling my dad that the rabbit was getting vicious and we needed to send it back to nature so we let her go down by a pond near our house… where I didn’t think she would last very long. And that is what we did… we gave her back to nature.
I now see Hunny in Quantum Dream Cat. So this story isn’t going to stop. If animals are here to assist us in being elevated humans, I am full on board. I am listening.
I don’t remember how I felt with Maggie passing on the couch, in my blanket. Once she started seizing, my parents made us leave.
I’ve been well acquainted with death while also dealing with it many times over my lifetime from an early age.
Claddagh was my first real experience with it all suddenly and first hand with extreme emotional attachment. Everything else has been leading up to facing that moment and knowing that “The End” is never REALLY “The END.”
Again I will say, I am so full of love right now. This is quite the experience. It is certainly meant to be shared and understood for the vastness that it is. This Truth swept beneath rugs meant to accumulate sorrows. It is hard to talk about because it is hard to conceptualize that the whole thing is one beautiful conversation with All That Is.
These gifts, despite tragic ends, are proof of that which is hard to speak.
In December, it happened- all of the scrolling through FB pages looking for the “perfect dog” while daily breaking my own heart looking at all those fur balls that need furever homes- I finally saw her.
I knew it from her eyes. No picture of any dog spoke to me like this one did. She had recently been posted for rescue, and I wanted to be first on the list. So late that night, I filled out an application with magnanimous amounts of hope and love brewing within my soul. When I looked at this picture, I knew that I knew this dog even though she was rescued 622 miles away. Then I looked at her number. The last four digits are the same as my SSN. Weird right? Not to me- just a sign of synchronicity to come.
Over the course of the next day, my application was put into the process, but Nina (as they called her) was tagged by a rescue based in the Colorado Springs area with fosters all across the Front Range. Usually, they don’t deal with interested fosters this far North because they don’t have many connections in the area to make transports easier.
Perfect timing was that application was filled out right before Christmas and most people were entrenched in their holiday plans, making transport a bit more complicated. At first, I thought it would only be a few days before she would head my direction, but after further assessment, they realized she is not spayed and had kennel cough. They would be unwilling to do surgery until the cough was cleared up… So, my baby had to sit in quarantine for a few days until she was cleared for surgery. I was told it could be a couple of weeks.
It was fine. I was willing to be patient. Patience comes easy when you are sure it is The One. I wanted to make sure that she was healthy enough to travel and if we had to wait a little longer, then it would be worth it.
Finally last week she was cleared for transport. She would be here Sunday, January 13, 2019.
In the weeks leading up to Nina’s transport, I began a process of talking to her through my psychic centers, just like I use to with Claddagh. I told Nina about my home life, the people in it and my other pet friends. I told her about the expectations I have for a calm house life. I told her about Claddagh and how much she meant to me. I told her, that I would be her last spot. I am her Home.
Every night before falling asleep I would tell the kitteries about our new friend. And, as I drifted to slumber I would send all the healing love energy to this new but suffering companion.
Jump back to 2007, when Claddagh came into my life. I was living with friends in Gilpin, Colorado. Friends who are on a higher wavelength when it comes to spiritual discussions and how spiritual dynamics affect our reality. Friends who, themselves are animal lovers.
During one of the animal discussions, the topic of animal reincarnation was brought up because even at first I was afraid of losing Claddagh. I was already preparing for her death in my psyche. This is when my friend Lindy started talking about animal reincarnation and soul companions in the form of pets.
That we contract with the souls of animals for lessons and companionship in learning those lessons. That once we fell in love with an animal it was imparted with a Soul Personality. Given the duration of life is much shorter for an animal, their Souls are allowed to return in different bodies if the contract is still active.
I always felt like I would be with Claddagh forever and ever, amen. I certainly didn’t feel like our contract was up when I had to say “good-bye.”
In spiritual communities it is talked about that animal reincarnation can take one of three forms. The soul being born into the body; the soul “walking into” a body that is already established in the world, and Soul Braiding.
Soul Braiding is when say a dying animal Soul contracts with another animal soul that is living. They contract to share a body and a personality in order to continue the initial soul contract with the human the first animal Soul was tied to. Essentially the living animal Soul agrees to bind with the dying animal Soul and facilitate a continuation of where things left off.
Far left, right? Totally fucking Woo-woo, right?
I don’t think so.
Due to a scheduling conflict, I was unable to pick up Nina from transport and I had to arrange for someone else to bring her to me. I noticed my dad was working near Fort Collins that day, and I offered a homemade quiche for help in the matter. I asked him because the last time Claddagh disappeared, my dad arrived at the shelter before I did in order to help locate her. He also said to me “Mandie, you need to get another dog.” I figured if he was a strong advocate, then he would be of excellent assistance for uniting me with my newest friend. Plus he really likes dogs, and I think they know that about him.
Finally, around 8:20pm they walk through the door. Nina is apprehensive as all get out. Her tail curled between her back legs, even when sitting down. She was easy under my dad’s control of the thin leash. She wasn’t sure about me. She wasn’t sure of anything except that she was comfortable with my dad. Ha! The man was worried she wouldn’t like him, and now she was thinking that she was supposed to leave with him… Sorry, puppers, you are staying with me.
After my dad left, she wandered around looking for him. Going back to the front door and just standing there giving little whines.
My pupception tells me that Soul Braiding began sometime between November of 2017 when Quantum adopted me, and March 2018 when the kittens were born. I also assume this is when the slow-growing tumor began on Claddagh’s heart. Claddagh being 100% Love, wasn’t going to leave me stranded and alone. And in fact, the cats were the best support in my mourning.
Nina, in my estimation in between 9 months and a 1.5 years old, and seems to me that she is part of the timeline. This is why the process for her to come to me, despite the distance, has perfectly aligned.
The piece of Claddagh’s Soul that is in this Nina, began to wake up on the drive with my dad. She sensed a familiarity that was safe.
After he left, I let her wander around the house and check everything out. Then she snuggled up on the sleeping bag in the garage and I read to her my Letter to my Future Dog. As I did, she stared at me. Giving me direct eye contact, which took Claddagh years to become confident enough to do. And we just stared at each other, me with tears in my eyes catalyzed by the overwhelming love and familiarity that I was feeling.
Shortly after that, she began to unfurl. Her tail still seemingly timid in its expression, was now starting to go outward, instead of under. When before she wasn’t interested in coming to me, now all of a sudden she wanted to be right by my side.
There were some tests. I kept taking her outside, hoping she would go… but it was still overwhelming her. She came back in, and I ran inside to put Gma to bed. When I came back out there was a very fresh and large pile of poop on the concrete floor. Claddagh would never make a mess on the carpet if there was an option, and that wasn’t something that I taught her, just like she would never poop on a trail.
I notice the poop, and Nina notices me notice the poop and she hunches into herself again, acting as if she will get reprehended. Instead, I got excited! It looked like really healthy poop, and I was happy to know that she was able to clear her bowels. I told her good job, cleaned up the mess and put down some enzymes so she knows that isn’t the location for that in the future. She unfurls, even more, it’s confirmed she “Is a Good Girl.” She need not worry about abuse for mistakes or accidents. Her comfort comes out in abounding waves.
We stay up until 4:30 in the morning, playing a sort of “getting to know you.” But do you know what she wants most of all? Just to be cuddled with me. When we finally went to bed, she was right there in the bed with me, like it’s been forever.
Today, she was a completely different animal from when she walked through the door. We went on a car ride, and she is perfect. We went to the feed store and she was perfect. She is observing the other animals and people, and still showing some timidness, but also a sort of excitement… she wants them to like her.
Quantum isn’t impressed with me currently and I think it’s because I relocated her and Capricious downstairs while we figure out introductions and dynamics. I think in a week everything will go into a normal routine and the kitteries can come back up to my room and we can live like the weird little family that we are.
Current things that have happened in the last less than 24 hours that give me confidence in Soul Braiding;
1. When I ask her for a hug, she puts her paws on my knees. When I say full hug, she brings her paws to my shoulders, and we give a full hug.
2. She wants to hold hands while driving.
3. Her favorite spot is right next to me, regardless.
Those three things were a daily component of living with Claddagh for almost eleven years. How is it this timid dog just walked right into that alignment without me asking her to?
The answer is The Soul Knows.
I’d like to introduce my new best friend; Journey.
“She was a kitten born in a sketchy trailer park; adopted by a kind old neighbor on the brink of death.
She had the survival skills of an ally cat and dreams of loving comfort, a place and person to call her own. A person she could trust… and rely on… for a life time.
This cat would transcend time and space to find the perfect place to land… in Dimension 18.
Little did the humans know, the cats were grouping again after nearly a catillion years. Within their own ranks and factions, a night fight was brewing with intensity and the expanding breeding program appeared to be out of control.
Quantum was sent as One in a team of Nine to right the balance of nature and protect the dimension. As a Siamese Ragdoll she was congenial unless provoked by prey or a distinctive enemy. Quantum was hell bent on the kill, but more than that, she is intent on saving Dimension 18.
Can Nine cats, with nine lives save the 18th Dimension? If Quantum has a choice, Dimension 18 will exist forever, and she will walk into infinity with all nine lives and all nine companions… The Human included.”
( so if I get around to this I might make a rough comic… but I just like the idea of it as a movie trailer for a comic.)
I clicked the first link which led me to Quora, and I felt the page should be shared because the answers are funny and frightening.
Let’s face it, cats are funny and frightening. This recent foray in to having feline companions in close proximity, is definitely causing me to see them in a new light. I guess I never noticed how strange they really are. Between them chasing shit I can’t see, the stare downs and strange reactions to my direct questions about surveillance and intelligence… I just don’t know.
Yes, my cat Quantum was being super talkative one night and every time I asked her a question she had a response, until I started asking her if she was in the CIA. I know that sounds super crazy, but she wouldn’t talk if I brought up intelligence agencies. Take from that what you will.
Quantum is also incredibly psychic, I can call her in my head and she will show up shortly after. Given her random appearance in my life, I give her the benefit of the doubt. I’d like to think she is an ally in some wicked spiritual battle and that she protects me to a certain degree, specifically when I sleep. That also sounds crazy, but I have a pretty vivid imagination and my days don’t provide as much entertainment as I could imagine myself.
Quantum may be a double agent, though. I haven’t figured that out yet.
Okay, okay… A random cat finds you, you think it may be lost and you give it the freedom to return to “home”,only “home” is now your house and she gets all prego… whaddaydo?
Watch life begin, of course.
The last 12 weeks have been brutal… for me. Separations; mom wanting space, bigger poops in the litter box, everyone eating me out of house and home but ultimately jealousy. Let me tell you about my late affection.
Little Rascal (now known as Khajiit) is one of the two calico’s from my tiny fur tribe. She was the last one to offer me her sweetness. When she finally gave forth, it was precious beyond words… but our beginnings were not so kosher.
In my observation Itty Bitty and Khajiit were in cat-hoots. They like a bit of that bite and claw action. If someone was biting at my toes, it was that Lil Rascal Khajiit. In the beginning there was minimal holding and reluctance to kiss; week 11 when Peanut Buddy (now Otto) left, the tides shifted. Lil Miss shifted from “battle bro” to “cuddle now.” I had no complaints. She jumped on the kissy train and settled down a bit.
Of course this begs the question of sibling dynamics, even in the animal world. Catland was now fully saturated with females and one male, Big Boy . Big Boy calmed down at least five fold without Peanut Buddy offering some male petition. Khajiit was in second place when it came to strength, size and agility without harassing Momma. The Game was on.
Khajiit seemed to desire some self definition right away; she was a middle baby and despite her distinction in the looks department, her evasive nature made her hard to pin down or in human terms “force love upon”. She seemed astute and willing to sit on the sidelines in order to form her own opinions. I regret to say that more than once she was at the mercy of my clumsy nature around fast moving objects (namely my clumsy ass feet). I definitely stepped on her tail more than once but always apologized and gave love afterward. At one point I asked myself why it was always her that was at the mercy of my lack of grace…. obviously she came to grips with it because when she decided to love, it was super obvious.
All of sudden she wants to cuddle, FIRST! Everyone else is running around like an idiot and she is like “Nah, I’m gonna grab that sweet warm spot behind the shaggy fat persons legs.” History is made! But Her Story is just beginning.
Jenny and Seneca wanted a kittery. They NEEDed a kittery; my house is like a cat drug den… who will fall victim? After Otto left, I let them all know ‘Some one is waiting for you, and they can’t wait to show you a whole new world.” Before Jenny came over to meet and greet, I told them “It’s equal opportunity, but I have my feelings.” For some reason I knew LIL would make her mark in the introductory love department, and she did not disappoint.
Jenny came over for a meet and greet with a nature so gentle, I am sure all of them were surprised. That nature is just what Lil needed if only to give them a run for their money. Jenny wants to toilet train and walk on a leash and that is exactly the kind of world exposure newly named Khajiit needs. A whole new world of love and adventure. Independence and dependence with the perfect balance of personality.
Khajiit is currently causing a riff of jealousy with her kin; within 48 hours of being in her new home she was given the opportunity to star in a music video from SunnyDale High, Seneca’s rad Wyoming band that thematically follows Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Khajiit is going to be a hit.
You should definitely check out her acting debut with a great soundtrack by Seneca’s band. Also you should definitely check out Sunnydale High when they play WARPED Tour this summer in Denver, if you do, you should tell them “Khajiit sent you.”
May all my kitteries rock and find their love-home dreams come true.
Check out Khajiit’s debut and Sunnydale High’s music at this adorable link.
May the Meows be with you, Lord Kittery knows we all could use it right now.
The time has come for the kitteries to say goodbye to me and Momma. Time to go into the great unknown that exists outside of my bedroom. Time to bond and claim space in places that are not “here.”
PeanutBuddy, also referred to as “My Lil Lion” was my one solitary light colored kit in the brood. He is strong, and sweet. The minute the kitteries pics went up, people were most interested in him. I went with my first friend showing interests with an intent to re-home them with people I know, or people who have been vetted by people I know.
This week I have really felt the need to cull the herd; Momma is getting irritated and they are growing at a rapid pace which makes a small room feel even smaller. PeanutBuddy was the strongest and biggest and was making daily efforts to test his strength, endurance and agility on his poor tired Mommacat. Her irritation was palatable as she would attempt to shake him off or subdue him long enough to jump to unreachable heights.
At night, I wrangle the kits into an upside down laundry basket so that I can spend a night without being ambushed or having random objects drop from shelves. This morning I noticed they had grown big enough to require more than one laundry basket, so it’s probably a good thing they like a nice cuddle puddle.
Last night I met with my friend and her mother, to come meet the kit and sent them home with a pillow made of my decimated bed spread; fully engulfed in the clan scent. I wanted to make sure their current cat was cool with it, and I want something familiar for him to go to in his new home. Their current kitty slept the night on the pillow, and will hopefully share and accept Peanut once she recognizes Peanuts smell in there.
Before they came over I debriefed the kitteries about our visitors and their intentions and our future together. I told them all that the people were specifically interested in PB. Once my friend and her mother arrived the kits dynamic changed. PB who is usually quite gregarious, hung back and acted skitterish. Everyone else stepped to the forefront, which is rare for a couple of them. They actively engaged in play while PB hid under the dresser, unsure of his future. Toward the end of the hang out he emerged and gave socialization a go, his little heart pitter pattering with nerves.
After our guests left, I told them it wasn’t certain, but it was likely that PB would be going away tomorrow. I explained that it wasn’t my lack of love, it was simply not economical or fair, they need their space. We all need our space and deserve it. Lots of love was given, but I could feel another shift in the dynamic. I would liken it to rebellion.
This morning, ( the day after) I was given confirmation that PeanutBuddy had a new home and that he would be leaving this afternoon. As soon as I told everyone what was up the rebellion kicked off. Bites were harder, jumps were more pronounced and effective. (While bending over in nothing but underwear one of them jumped straight on to my ass in the most brutal of ways…. yeah, I jumped and yelped.)
Each time I would walk into my room the energy was different, usually everyone is cuddled in a mass but today, everyone was close together with PB sitting alone at the end of my dogs bedding. It felt like contemplation and the energy of his siblings was resentful. They knew they were losing their leader. Perhaps I am anthropomorphizing them, or perhaps spending almost thirteen weeks straight with these little critters from day one, means I am experiencing a very real dynamic that I have limited understanding and wording for, but this is what I can liken it to.
11:30 am rolled around and it would be soon that separation would occur. I wanted us all to share one last cat nap together. I forgot my phone, so I asked the cats to make sure I got up by 12:30. At first it was a struggle, everyone was blaming me with what energy they had left and PB was the last to settle down but when he did, he cuddled under my chin on my neck and fell fast asleep while the rest of his crew laid in a puddle on my abdomen. Momma laid down on the dresser, overlooking our pile of fur and humanity and we rested for an hour and I had to get up.
It was like curtain call in the theatre. “Okay cats (cast), life will change very soon. Make your peace and say your good-byes. We love you PeanutBuddy!”
A short while later I asked my grandma if she would like to say goodbye, and she said yes. I brought him into the room and she became emotional.
“It feels like I am losing a friend.” She said. I couldn’t help but agree, once upon a few months ago they were helpless little fur balls with an uncertain future… now they could probably instinctively kill a rodent and be surprised by the outcome… how far we can move so quickly.
Everyone said goodbye, even the dogs. And I slipped that little tan critter in to a critter carrier; it was hard. I am not a cat person, I am an animal person. Sometimes I hate love, ya know… you always have to say goodbye and it’s rarely a relief. My emotions are wrapped up in the fact that I saw life happen in front of my eyes. I saw growth and development based on my influence. I hope they all are just the best for their new homes but that doesn’t stop the emotion I am feeling. I am not quite sure what to liken it to as a person who has never had children. I guess I get the same feeling when I think about my dog, or any dog I have ever loved or has been loved by people I love, and that dog passing away. I’m deeply saddened by the idea of the feeling of abandonment.
I want that kittery to know I didn’t “abandon him,” even though it feels like I did. Will he care once he is integrated and spoiled in his new home… probably not, but I don’t know for sure and that is why they call it anthropomorphism. We put human attributes on animals, I don’t know if they felinopomorph, and think any one human is more or less cat-tributed behavior or personality. I know my relationship with Quantum is significantly different now than it was when she came to me in November, and we have yet to see how that will pan out once she regains her space and freedom. (This bitch needs a snip-snip if you know what I mean, before she can explore the outdoors again.)
I just take it day to day, ya know? Really it’s all I can do.
These five rascally little critters are creeping upon nine weeks old. Which means they are jumping; skipping, side-sliding and scaling EVERYTHING. Take for instance my legs and my need to wear two pairs of pants because each and every one of these kitteries has taken a running jump onto my calf and attempted to crawl up as far as the fabric would take them. They are like little lumber jacks, or ice climbers. They selectively use their claws in unimaginable ways.
Recently they have taken this skill to a whole new challenge with similar height restrictions, but a broader playing area: my back, while cleaning the litter box. There I am all hunched over feces, making sure everyone is feeling confident about their next poo when one or more of them take a running leap at my back. I mean, obviously claws are involved in this, they are learning the the “running-jump and cling”. This may or may not be a problem for me on any given day on account of what shirt I am wearing and the surface area that it covers plus thickness of material or lack there of. “Lack of material” immediately inserts a negative into the question which = claws in skin which may be multiplied by the depth of penetration.
I never thought my body would be a playground. I never knew that someone should recommend wearing Carharts, gloves and denim in order to deal with furry, sharp-sharp furriness.
Here is the juxtaposition that makes it even harder… They can be SO gentle and sweet; it is selective and you have to pay attention and the less you pay attention the more likely you are to meet some sort of feline wrath.
Perhaps you are a seasoned kitterycat enthusiast/ companion; for me this is my third instillation of “learning experiences” that have been growing more intense over time and as I’ve mentioned before, my first “hands on from birth of the feline species” experience. I really didn’t know what to expect and what people told me to do, I kind of bounced it around and felt it out, ultimately disregarding it to the degree of augmenting it and seeing what worked in my situation.
I am by no means disappointed, in fact this whole thing has been amazing but not always perfect.
You know how I was saying that one needs to pay attention to the feline signs? Well I do, over all; certain calls for food or new litter (and in Quantum’s case, to go outside or the fact she is tired of her kin), the kittens are in the experimental hunting phase of looks, eye connection (or lack thereof) and “mad-dogging”.
Here is how it usually goes down: I want to lay down and primarily settle down for the night but the minute I walk through the door everyone wants attention and they are fired up. When they are fired up they wrestle and run around and jump on everything or claw anything until their tiny little muscles say “STOP!”
I lay in bed and they treat me like some Kittery CrossFit that includes; running laps, using my bun like a weighted rope, high diving off of shelves and stealthily trying to bite/lick my eyes, ears, nose, mouth and chin. If I was more invested I would come up with proper names for the crazy events this clan of Kittery participates in, daily.
My least favorite event, is “Stare Her Down With Looks Of Love And Then Take Swift Bats At Her Face.” A kittery will get all close to my face hole; all big eyes and looks of curiosity. Then they start bobbing around a little, probably because they are focusing on a place on my face to plant a claw (if they are ruthless) or just a paw (if they are somewhat scary yet playful) and then it is “GAME ON”. My hands already look like I not only cut myself (for fun, of course) but also as though I have experienced the “stigmata”… raisin’ kitteries ain’t easy.
Admittedly I have had to learn to retaliate from this physical abuse. Some of the events in my height and weight Cat-agory are ” Shake ‘Em Off Like a Dog”, Human Earth Quake, Kittery Toss, and Quicker Reflexes.
I think “Kittery Toss” is fun for everyone.
When I walk through the door, they know my gait coming down the hall. They not only swarm but also they try and escape. I suppose it isn’t appropriate to kick them around like soccer balls, so, I pick them up one by one and gently toss them (American Quaterback Football Style) onto my bed. If one goes, they all watch and they jet quickly to greet their tossed sister or brethren on the landing pad with some good ole fashion kitty wrestling. I just keep tossing them up there and they just keep coming back for more. It’s the one event that seems to leave me uninjured and the kitteries highly entertained.
Quantum is a proud, patient, borne-to-be-a-mother of kittens. She is naturally good at what nature gave her to do. She is sweet, attentive, and clean. Since the kitteries have been born, she is even more clean than she was pre-kitterville and that was SO CLEAN! She never smelled of anything but love(?). I mean she just really hasn’t had any odor about her since she came to be here. (Yes, her shit stinks.) About four days after the babies were born, the room smelled like curry, or a mixture of Indian spices. That sent me for a head spin because I rarely, if ever make food with those flavors even though I love it.
Our little feline schedule has taken a shift with the arrival of these five new furry friends. Three girls, and two boys. With an intense feeding schedule of every couple of hours; Momma has a bottomless pit for a stomach and a penchant for constantly cleaning, I’ve been sent into a whole new level of care taking that has no regard for the time of day or night. Who needs sleep?
Personally, I like sleep. No, I love sleep. I am a light sleeper and am easily awakened by the slightest of noises. I loathe being awakened and a whiny momma cat, is not a slight noise. The whines and cries always seem specifically timed to occur when I am just about to drift into the deep onset of sleep. She sits there, staring at me, knowing this. She always cries in that moment when I feel as if I could fall into a dream abyss. Immediately I am snapped back to the reality that this Momma needs/wants something. Be it food, water, or a clean box… there is no limit to the requests that may come up at 3 am and I am an idiot for thinking I can ignore her. She wins…every…single…time.
Week two has led to sleep deprivation. I am at the beck and call of this Queen. I do the best I can at meeting her needs before I go to bed in hopes Quantum will let me sleep a full night; what a dumb human I am to expect that I could just go to bed, unencumbered for a nice stretch of rest.
If Momma ain’t happy…
It’s got to be tough to all of a sudden have five little critters to worry about. It’s got to be annoying to have those little critters grappling at your swollen tits, with tiny claws and emerging teeth. It must be tedious to clean and re-clean those babies after this tactile human handles them, and kisses on them with coffee breath. I get it. Sometimes momma needs a break too.
Last week as I was settling in to go to bed, with the laundry basket of kittens next to me, Quantum hopped in the basket for a kittery feeding. I noticed a different set of squeals. I popped on the flashlight in order to take a look at the current scenario. See, Quantum has ten nipples but only eight of them are in use. None of the kittens like being on the bottom row. The top row, middle two nipples are prime real estate and if they had their preference, only two would feed at a time on those succulent momma mammarys, leaving plenty of wiggle room and no competition.
Anyway, I turn on the flash light and the two boys are fighting over nipple realty. Fluffs of hair are being scratched off as these two little furballs fight for space. Momma looks incredibly annoyed and uncomfortable. I decide to step in and remove the more aggressive kit. I decide to also remove the kit that is on the bottom row and pull them into bed with me for a while so that the others can feed in peace and Quantum can have a little break in the feeding chaos. She looks relieved. After a few minutes I notice one of the kits has fallen asleep at the nipple, and I gently remove it, and replace it with one that hasn’t eaten yet. I continue the rotation until everyone appears to be satiated. Quantum appears to be thankful, and when everyone is back in the basket and cuddled up, she curls up behind my knees for the first time since the babies were born.
I feel like Quantum is trying to “train” me. If she is unhappy with the smell of her box, she goes to the litter bag and claws at it. If she is unhappy about her water quality, she stands by it and whines. If she wants more food, she becomes incessant with her cries. No matter the time of day or night, what Momma wants, Momma gets.
Quantum is pretty balanced in her care for each of the kittens, but I get the sense she has her favorites, and they are the boys. I am partial to female animals, and in this case the girls are significantly smaller than the boys. Once, I noticed Quantum was being pretty rough with one of the girls she was cleaning. A little black one I call “My little Teddybear”; My Little Teddybear is basically the runt of the litter. And I was feeling like Momma was having some animosity, like with one less kitten, feeding would be a peaceful and roomy event. I snatched up that little kittery and I tell Quantum that she needs to calm down and be just as gentle with this one. I held it and kissed it and loved on it, and since then Quantum has been more gentle with her. My Little Teddybear is one of my favorites… something about how small she is, just adds to her adorableness.
“My Little Lion” is a boy, he is a champagne colored kittle. He is the only one with a full body of light colored hair, he resembles a very light tabby. He is the biggest and strongest. He is headstrong and adventurous. He was the first one I noticed to start self grooming at a week old and seems to instinctively know what “I’m gonna get your belly” means. As I put my fingers down into the basket, he clumsily rolls onto his back and lets me tickle his belly, reaching his tiny limbs toward my hand and pulling them away. It too much cuteness, if there is such a thing.
My Little Lion is a beast at the nipple and he gets annoyed when Momma wants to clean him. He will kick, punch and scratch his way to the prime real estate and he uses the same tactics to escape from being bathed. If one of the girls is in his desired nipple position, he will basically try and suffocate them off of it by climbing on top of them, pushing them down to the bottom row, right off the nipple they were latched to. Sometimes the girls try to fight back, but most times they just wiggle free and try to find somewhere else to eat. Occasionally they just curl up next to Momma and wait their turn.
I can’t even express how impressed I am with this weird relationship I’ve found myself in. I’ve never really fancied myself as a “cat person” per say. I’ve always loved cats but I haven’t spent much time with them in general. When I was about nine years old, a calico cat adopted my family. It was an outdoor cat, and they fed it once and it stayed around. I think about a year later we moved two houses down the road, and the cat followed us to the new house. I named her “Cuddles”. She was fat and sweet. Strange that I don’t recall what happened to her. I wouldn’t have another cat friend of my own until twenty years later.
“My Little Pirate” is of the other little girls in the batch. Her body is primarily black but she has some calico in there, and her face is split evenly down the middle with black on one side and champagne mottle on the other. She looks so astute and her face structure is more delicate and angular than the other kitties. She is quiet, and something in my room causes her to sneeze. She is also adventurous but in a timid way. She wants to see what is going on, and then she moves forward. I just love her. If a tiny ass kitten can seem like an old soul, My Little Pirate has that essence.
“Lil Baby” is My Little Pirates color counterpart. Her coloring is similar, but her face isn’t as distinctive and her features are more rounded. Basically she is too cute for words and reminds me of good ole Cuddles. She is a cuddle kitty, but vocal. She also seems like the type that may like to hide. I was sitting on my knees on the ground and I had a skirt on over my leggings. The way I was sitting and the length of the skirt created a sort of a dark cave between my legs, and Lil Baby walked as far back into it as she could, toward the heels of my feet, and she just sat there and watched all the other kitteries awkwardly walking around. This was our first foray on the floor, out of the basket.
Finally, in this mix we have “My Lil Panther”, which is the male counterpart to My Little Teddybear. They look very similar, all black, but My Lil Panther has some white hairs around his mouth and eyes, and My Little Teddybear has the cutest pink black mouth and a heart shape on her nose. My Lil Panther is strong and feisty. If there is some tomfoolery happening in the basket, it’s likely that he is involved with My Little Lion. I have a feeling those two will have no problems defending themselves in the future. My Lil Panther seems like the hard sleeper. If he is tired, he sleeps as the other kits crawl all over him completely unfazed.
Every few nights, I take the kitteries into my grandma’s room, so that she can see them. She loves them, they are amazing. I know they are therapeutic by nature, and it allows Momma a food and poop break with complete privacy.
Claddagh Wonderdawg still isn’t sure what to make of all of this. She seems unimpressed that I am sharing so many kisses with these little things that resemble the rabbits and squirrels she like to chase in the yard. She seems curious and frightened. In the mornings, when she gets up and greets me at the head of the bed, she peers into the basket for a split second, sniffs it and backs away quickly as if maybe all of this is a dream, and tomorrow there will be laundry in the basket instead of a bunch of wiggling fur balls. I tried to put My Little Lion near her, and she wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible. She refuses to make eye contact with the kittens. She does however make eye contact with Quantum, and Quantum has an intense stare. Overall, Quantum seems pretty chill about Claddagh being around her babies, and I think she wants Claddagh to be more engaged than she is, all around.
It appears to me that Claddagh is still pretty jealous of Quantum. Like there isn’t enough love to go around, and now there is another body sharing the bed at night, and it’s been a long time since we’ve been in that situation with my ex-cat Poppy Rascal. (That is a whole other story.) I probably need to take Claddagh on a date. Get some “one on one” time doing something that she enjoys, which probably includes french fries. Then we can sit down and talk about it. That’s just the way it goes with my animal family. Sometimes we have to talk through things, and we are all usually better for it in the long run.
Stay tuned… the kits are starting to get active and I am sure this is about to get even more interesting.
On November 9, 2018 my friend Devon walked out of my garage to his car, and exclaimed “Do you know this cat?”
From where I was sitting, I couldn’t see what was on the other side of the door. Immediately I thought “Well, probably not because I rarely see cats just roaming around my neighborhood.” However, much like Schrödinger, my curiosity got the best of me.
“What cat?” I exclaimed, jumping from my chair and racing to the door. There I saw a slim, small violet Siamese cat with an injured paw. She sidled up to the drivers side rear wheel of my car and peered at me coyly. I knelt down and called her to me, to my surprise she walked forward to me. She allowed me to scoop her up to look at her paw. A small injury, but it looked like it had been deep and healing a while. The gash in her paw almost appeared as if she had been stuck to ice, and ripped away her pad.
She allowed me to take her inside, clean up her paw and add some Vertricyn to the wound. She was cuddly and appeared to want to stay close. How could I say no?
I immediately took to social media; the after hours Animal Shelter site on Facebook, and any other local group that I noticed posts of lost or missing animals. I took her to the vet to see if she was chipped. Negative. I posted on Nextdoor, a social networking site for neighborhoods. I called the Animal Shelter. I waited a day and then I went out and bought her food; litter, a litter box and a dish and a couple of toys.
This girl was so sweet, someone must be missing her. It was just before the holiday season, I thought to myself, “Well maybe she was being pet sat and sneakily escaped. Maybe her person is on vacation or deployment and the cat sitter doesn’t want to worry her owners while they are away.” I was constantly checking my post, and posts about cats in my area. Pretty much, nothing.
About a month after the kittery had been hanging out, a woman on the Nextdoor site, insisted it was hers. That she had left town on November 10 and had only recently returned. I demanded pictures and descriptions. Her cat looked nothing like the one I had been treating as my own for the past four weeks. The markings were all wrong. She felt dead set it was hers, so I took a risk and said “If you feel that strongly about it, here is my address, come on over and see for yourself.” Fifteen minutes later she texted back saying that she was called into work (at the military base across town, where she lives) and that she would be sending one of her guy friends to come by.
Honestly I got a little panicked. I didn’t know if this was a demanding boyfriend type guy or what. I texted her to drop it until tomorrow and come for herself but she didn’t respond to the message. Approximately 45 minutes later I got a knock on the door from a short, kind of effeminate Hispanic male and a slightly taller Hispanic female. Both seemed somewhere between mid twenties to early thirties. They explained the situation on their end, and I went to get the cat for their inspection.
I brought the cat out in my arms, lazily purring. Immediately the woman said, ” Can I pet her? ” And I reply “Yes.” because I have only seen this cat friendly to people (unless hungry). She is a lover. The lady pets the cat and says “This isn’t our friends cat. Her cat literally hates me. She tries to attack me anytime I am near her.” Her male companion proceeds to look the cat over and agrees, “this isn’t the missing cat.”
I tell them my end of the story, and of my growing attachment, and how I thought it would be weird for a cat from the west side of town to make it all the way over here and then not try to go home. They admit that their friend use to live in the apartments across the street, but it had been over a year and a half ago. We thanked each other for our time and patience, and they went along on their way. I cuddled the kitty deeper, and decided a month was long enough to wait for an owner to appear, and then I had the weirdest thought.
What if the owner of this cat died, and the cat slipped out when EMS arrived to remove the body? Cryptic, right? I got a strong sensation this was the case. This cat had been stray for a while, and it was looking for the right person to adopt. I had proven to her that I care for her well being. Her love was strong and instant. All of a sudden I felt “chosen” , again; a feeling I haven’t had since I found my Claddagh Dog.
This cat needed a name. From the first moment, she just somehow integrated so perfectly. I continued to let her outside, in hopes she would just find her own way back home. I’d let her out at night, when traffic is less… and every morning I would wake up to pee and think of her and she would magically appear at my bedroom window. I would let her in, pour her a bowl of food and lay back down. She would eat her food, and come nestle herself in the crook of my bent knees. We would sleep a while, and when I would get up she would make the smallest squeak as to say “Don’t move, I like it here with you.”
Some nights it was a battle of the bed. Claddagh usually wants front seat being the little spoon against my chest, and occasionally the kittery was first to call it. Claddagh would seem disappointed, nevertheless would curl up at my feet at the bottom of the bed.
See, I am so blessed with my animals. Claddagh is a dream come true Dog. She is so perfect. She had her issues in the beginning but most of that stuff is out of her system. She has had a kittery before, she is gentle and observant. I trust her to be kind to the kittery, however I do not trust her alone in a room with a dirty litter box. It’s good to know every ones boundaries.
This cat still needs a name. What do I think of her, when I think of her? Well, it’s like she just came out of nowhere. Like, she manifested from some other dimension in Time Space. Quantum. Quantum Dream Cat. Oh shit, you know that kitty is here to teach you something.
So, Quantum came into my life, accepted her name and knows it. If she is outside and I call her name silently, inside of my head, she arrives. Admittedly I was a lazy owner, taking for granted the fact that I don’t really know anything about this cat except the fact that she is extremely clean, loving and chipless. She likes wet and dry food, and as she is getting more comfortable with her surroundings, she wants to be held less. I still let her out for a few hours each night/early morning. She continues to return. Sometimes, she just jumps up on my window sill and watches me sleep, waiting for me to wake up and look at her to let her in. Her voice is quiet most times, unless she is super urgent or agitated. She doesn’t beg to be let in, she just waits. Claddagh wants to hump her and I think it’s funny to watch the Animal Planet live from my bedroom. Something tells me the kittery might be in heat, so I start to keep her in.
In all honesty, I love this situation but I am sort of weirded out. All of a sudden I feel some spiritual “Level Up”.
Okay. So. I know. I should have taken her to the vet the moment I took down all the posts and claimed her as mine. I should have, but I didn’t. I checked for a spay scar, and didn’t see one, so, that is totally a “my bad.” I was handling Quantum quite a bit on a daily basis, and the moment her little teets no longer looked like little pieces of dried rice, I went to Google to confirm what I suspected. Pregnancy. Fuck. But, what do you do, right? So far as I know, there is no Feline Plan B. Again, what have I gotten myself into? Immediately I start a Google crash course in pregnant Siamese Cats.