Another lovely sonic story time collaboration! Enjoy!
Alessandro Muresu –
You can explore my other audio recordings of various length and content at the links below-
Another lovely sonic story time collaboration! Enjoy!
Alessandro Muresu –
You can explore my other audio recordings of various length and content at the links below-
We are more than we recognize. It’s time to reintroduce ourselves to ourselves.
Reading from previous personal posts. Links below.
Music by Alessandro Muresu, Album- Nubi Volume 3 2018- Track 6: A Matter of Principal
Alessandro Muresu Bandcamp
In December, it happened- all of the scrolling through FB pages looking for the “perfect dog” while daily breaking my own heart looking at all those fur balls that need furever homes- I finally saw her.
I knew it from her eyes. No picture of any dog spoke to me like this one did. She had recently been posted for rescue, and I wanted to be first on the list. So late that night, I filled out an application with magnanimous amounts of hope and love brewing within my soul. When I looked at this picture, I knew that I knew this dog even though she was rescued 622 miles away. Then I looked at her number. The last four digits are the same as my SSN. Weird right? Not to me- just a sign of synchronicity to come.
Over the course of the next day, my application was put into process, but Nina (as they called her) was tagged by a rescue based in the Colorado Springs area with fosters all across the Front Range. Usually they don’t deal with interested fosters this far North because they don’t have many connections in the area to make transports easier.
Perfect timing, was that application was filled out right before Christmas and most people were entrenched in their holiday plans, making transport a bit more complicated. At first I thought it would only be a few days before she would head my direction, but after further assessment they realized she is not spayed and had kennel cough. They would be unwilling to do surgery until the cough was cleared up… So, baby had to sit in quarantine for a few days until she was cleared for surgery. I was told it could be a couple of weeks.
It was fine. I was willing to be patient. Patience comes easy when you are sure it is The One. I wanted to make sure that she was healthy enough to travel and if we had to wait a little longer, then it would be worth it.
Finally last week she was cleared for transport. She would be here Sunday January 13, 2019.
In the weeks leading up to Nina’s transport, I began a process of talking to her through my psychic centers, just like I use to with Claddagh. I told Nina about my home life, the people in it and my other pet friends. I told her about the expectations I have for a calm house life. I told her about Claddagh and how much she meant to me. I told her, that I would be her last spot. I am her Home.
Every night before falling asleep I would tell the kitteries about our new friend. And, as I drifted to slumber I would send all the healing love energy to this new but suffering companion.
Jump back to 2007, when Claddagh came into my life. I was living with friends in Gilpin, Colorado. Friends who are on a higher wave length when it comes to spiritual discussions and how spiritual dynamics effect our reality. Friends who, themselves are animal lovers.
During one of the animal discussions the topic of animal reincarnation was brought up because even at first I was afraid of losing Claddagh. I was already preparing for her death in my psyche. This is when my friend Lindy started talking about animal reincarnation and soul companions in the form of pets.
That we contract with souls of animals for lessons and companionship in learning those lessons. That once we fell in love with an animal it was imparted with a Soul Personality. Given the duration of life is much shorter for an animal, their Souls are allowed to return in different bodies, if the contract is still active.
I always felt like I would be with Claddagh forever and ever, amen. I certainly didn’t feel like our contract was up when I had to say “good-bye.”
In spiritual communities it is talked about that animal reincarnation can take one of three forms. The soul being born into the body; the soul “walking into” a body that is already established in the world, and Soul Braiding.
Soul Braiding is when say a dying animal Soul contracts with another animal soul that is living. They contract to share a body and a personality in order to continue the initial soul contract with the human the first animal Soul was tied to. Essentially the living animal Soul agrees to bind with the dying animal Soul, and facilitate a continuation of where things left off.
Far left, right? Totally fucking Woo-woo, right?
I don’t think so.
Due to a scheduling conflict I was unable to pick up Nina from transport and I had to arrange for someone else to bring her to me. I noticed my dad was working near Fort Collins that day, and I offered a home made quiche for help in the matter. I asked him because the last time Claddagh disappeared, my dad arrived at the shelter before I did in order to help locate her. He also said to me “Mandie, you need to get another dog.” I figured if he was a strong advocate, then he would be of excellent assistance for uniting me with my newest friend. Plus he really likes dogs, and I think they know that about him.
Finally around 8:20pm they walk through the door. Nina is apprehensive as all get out. Her tail curled between her back legs, even when sitting down. She was easy under my dad’s control of the thin leash. She wasn’t sure about me. She wasn’t sure of anything except that she was comfortable with my dad. Ha! The man was worried she wouldn’t like him, and now she was thinking that she was suppose to leave with him… Sorry, puppers, you are staying with me.
After my dad left, she wandered around looking for him. Going back to the front door and just standing there giving little whines.
My pupception tells me that Soul Braiding began sometime between November of 2017 when Quantum adopted me, and March 2018 when the kittens were born. I also assume this is when the slow growing tumor began on Claddagh’s heart. Claddagh being 100% Love, wasn’t going to leave me stranded and alone. And in fact, the cats were the best support in my mourning.
Nina, in my estimation in between 9 months and a 1.5 years old, and seems to me that she is part of the timeline. This is why the process for her to come to me, despite distance, has perfectly aligned.
The piece of Claddagh’s Soul that is in this Nina, began to wake up on the drive with my dad. She sensed a familiarity that was safe.
After he left, I let her wander around the house and check everything out. Then she snuggled up on the sleeping bag in the garage and I read to her my Letter to my Future Dog. As I did, she stared at me. Giving me direct eye contact, which took Claddagh years to become confident enough to do. And we just stared at each other, me with tears in my eyes catalyzed by the overwhelming love and familiarity that I was feeling.
Shortly after that she began to unfurl. Her tails still seemingly timid in it’s expression, was now starting to go outward, instead of under. When before she wasn’t interested in coming to me, now all of a sudden she wanted to be right by my side.
There were some tests. I kept taking her outside, hoping she would go… but it was still overwhelming her. She came back in, and I ran inside to put Gma to bed. When I came back out there was a very fresh and large pile of poop on the concrete floor. Claddagh would never make a mess on carpet if there was an option, and that wasn’t something that I taught her, just like she would never poop on a trail.
I notice the poop, and Nina notices me notice the poop and she hunches into herself again, acting as if she will get reprehended. Instead I got excited! It looked like really healthy poop, and I was happy to know that she was able to clear her bowels. I told her good job, cleaned up the mess and put down some enzymes so she knows that isn’t the location for that in the future. She unfurls even more, it’s confirmed she “Is a Good Girl.” She need not worry about abuse for mistakes or accidents. Her comfort comes out in abounding waves.
We stay up until 4:30 in the morning, playing a sort of “getting to know you.” But do you know what she wants most of all? Just to be cuddled with me. When we finally went to bed, she was right there in the bed with me, like it’s been forever.
Today, she was a completely different animal from when she walked through the door. We went on a car ride, and she is perfect. We went to the feed store and she was perfect. She is observing the other animals and people, and still showing some timidness, but also a sort of excitement… she wants them to like her.
Quantum isn’t impressed with me currently and I think it’s because I relocated her and Capricious downstairs while we figure out introductions and dynamics. I think in a week everything will go into normal routine and the kitteries can come back up to my room and we can live like the weird little family that we are.
Current things that have happened in the last less than 24 hours that give me confidence in Soul Braiding;
1. When I ask her for a hug, she puts her paws on my knees. When I say full hug, she brings her paws to my shoulders, and we give a full hug.
2. She wants to hold hands while driving.
3. Her favorite spot is right next to me, regardless.
Those three things were a daily component of living with Claddagh for almost eleven years. How is it this timid dog just walked right into that alignment with out me asking her to?
The answer is The Soul Knows.
I’d like to introduce my new best friend; Journey.
Every time I look at Claddagh’s water bowl, the tears reemerge. I threw her bed away. I tossed all her toys in the trash. I put her leashes in a free box. Her is hair everywhere.
I use to be so anal about having hair on my clothes. A real lint roller bandit. The day Claddagh and I found each other, I let that go. I knew that there was no escaping her shed. I didn’t even think twice about it. It’s like a part of myself died, or that my hyper-vigilance had at least taken a new direction.
I’ve known so many wonderful dogs over the course of my life. We had dogs in our family from my earliest memories. Pepper; Muffin, Maggie, Buffy, Sprocket, Lucky, and Elsie were all Family dogs belonging to the direct family that I spent most of my childhood around. Each was so unique, but none of them were really “my dog.”
I dreamed of the day I would finally find my own companion. The desire started about the time I was twenty-five. I had been in a three-year relationship with a man who had a beautiful golden retriever named Kelty Krumb. Kelty reminded me of Falcore from The Never Ending Story. I fell in love with that dog, but I still lint rolled all the time. One of the hardest parts of the breakup was losing the dog in my life.
So I got serious about “Mandie-festing” the perfect dog. I lived in dog towns, and my friends often had dogs. Sometimes I would spend more time hanging out with the dogs of my friends than I did with my friends. This all kicked into high gear around 2006 when I was living in Nederland, CO. A small town up the canyon from Boulder.
I could buy a bulk brown sack full of dog treats from the grocery store for very cheap, so I was constantly packed with treats for the dogs I would see in town. I got to know dogs by name better than some of their owners. I paid attention to the attributes I loved about each animal. I knew that I would know when and where and who when the time was right.
There were two predominant dogs in my life during this time. Gullivan and Mountain Girl. Gullivan was my friend Tammi’s companion. Gullivan and I created a fast bond and he would always greet me at my car for a treat and some love. We could play rough and he was just amazing.
Mountain Girl belonged to my friend Michigan Mike. I was casually sleeping with his roommate for a few months and was able to spend time getting to know Mike and Mountain Girl. She was the epitome of dedicated and independent. She was a large St. Bernard, and she roamed about the town without being leashed up.
She would walk down to the pub, where Mike was often found, and she would lay outside waiting for him to come to take a smoke break. And if she ever got tired of waiting outside the pub, she would saunter back home for a while to eat and drink.
It was an emotional hit to the entire community when Mountain Girl passed away. She was this gentle giant ambassador of the community at one time.
I wanted a dog like that.
The ultimate, to be able to sit and stay, unleashed for a period of time and to always know where home is. I can say that Claddagh went above and beyond my expectations in the time that we had together but she had not yet reached that pinnacle.
I had lost my brother on July 25, 2006. I terminated a pregnancy in early 2007 after a one night stand during a blizzard and the condom broke. If I am honest with myself, I was lonely as fuck. I couldn’t find human companionship that was equitable on both sides, meaning “we both want to be together.”
I was always like “Don’t call me your girlfriend.” But then I’d meet someone I would be interested in pursuing and they would just want to fuck. I had had enough, and I wanted someone of my own. Loyalty and trust I could believe in.
I had been house/cat sitting for a friend for three months while she was out of the country, and about two weeks before she came home I knew that it was time to go to the Humane Society. I didn’t know what I was going to do after this gig or where I was going to live, but I knew that by my 27th birthday, I would have a furry friend. It would take two weeks and three trips down the canyon before I’d find her.
A place that I want to check out. On my first attempt, I turned North instead of South and ended up in Longmont. I turned around again and went back up the mountain. I tried again a few days later and made the same mistake. Again I was in Longmont. I am usually great at directions but I kept getting twisted around.
The second time I figure, “why not check it out?”
I find a little mutt puppy who is kind of sickly. We walk around outside and he poops green. I am enamored by his tininess. I say that I am interested in him. I’m full of ideals of raising a little puppy. Longmont requires a 24 hour hold, and a call of confirmation to a landlord that having a pet is allowed.
My friend doesn’t care if I get a dog, as an animal lover herself, and says to pose as her using the landline. They call, I get approved and I can pick up the puppy the next day.
My friend had five cats in a one room cabin. The bed was in a loft, and the cats would hang out there during the day and night, when they weren’t knocking potted plants off the window sills. These cats were missing their Momma and letting me know it.
The morning I woke up to go get the puppy, there was cat shit on my pillow, six inches from my head. I knew immediately that even though my friend would be home soon, there was no way I could have that sickly puppy around all these passive aggressive cats. So, I called and canceled my adoption.
The feeling that I was supposed to have a dog didn’t pass. I needed to be realistic and I needed to try again to get to the Boulder Humane Society. A few days later I tried again, this time I turned the right way and found the place I had been looking for.
The set up was to take the laminated sheet of the dog you were interested in, up to the counter and they would set up a meeting. The people are looking at the sheets on one side of the cage, and I am at the other side of the cages without the paper. Just checking them each out, looking for a familiar face.
The elder couple is standing at the front of “Pasha’s” kennel. They look over the paper, and write down her name. “Pasha” is paying attention to me, so I ask her to sit. And she sits. I ask her to lay down, and she lays down. I ask her if she wants to come to play with me and she talks. She doesn’t bark, she talks. I already know in this moment she is mine.
The elderly couple is in front of me. The volunteer asks to see the paperwork they are holding, they give it to her and they tell her that they would also like to see Pasha. The volunteer asks them if they have Pasha’s paperwork. They say “no”, and I sheepishly say, “I have Pasha’s paperwork.”
The volunteer tells the couple that she will set them up with the dog they chose first, and “If Pasha doesn’t go home with this kind lady today, we can set you up with a meeting with her.” My heart is fluttering.
I chose to meet her in an outdoor kennel. There were some toys and a baby pool.
Pasha and I were left alone to check each other out.
She didn’t want toys.
She could care less about the water.
She just wanted to be near me.
She listened as I talked to her, she leaned against my legs and talked back.
They looked over longingly at Pasha’s excited but mellow demeanor. She did not jump on me, she did not lick or drool. She just told me ” We found each other.” And so I paid fifty bucks for the greatest love I would ever know up until this point.
Pasha didn’t fit, so for about a week, I called her IMA.
I.M.A.= Incredibly Magical Animal.
We slept together with all the cats in the top loft. I would heft her up the crazy ladder that slipped out from underneath me more than once and our life together began.
Claddagh because of the Irish wedding band, the hands holding a heart with a crown, signifying “Love, Loyalty, and Friendship.” She was my partner, and I would honor her as such through her name.
Moondancer came along when the snow fell, and Claddagh would lie about needing to go outside to go potty. She would just want to slide upside down like a penguin on snow drifts. She would prance through the thick blanket of white, like a deer. Under a full moon, it looked like she was dancing on the moon itself.
Wonderdog is pretty self-explanatory.
My friend came home to her cabin full of cats and Claddagh and I camped out until the snow fell and we moved in with friends who needed some child care and help to start a small business.
whether I was working at the New Moon cafe in Nederland, or working for my friends in Gilpin. Every single day, my dog accompanied me, and I swore I would never work another job that would keep me from her for long periods of time. I was blessed to have it work out so perfectly over the years.
I didn’t have a doctors note or anything.
I just lived in an incredibly dog-friendly town, and Claddagh was the most loveable dog you could meet. She treated everyone like they were there to specifically see her.
She would give her full attention and love. She would talk to anyone who came into her sphere.
Only once, during our time together, did she sense that a person was “off”, and backed away as if disgusted. It was like she hit an energy bubble, and she backed away as if to say “this isn’t a sphere I want to be in.” The woman was homeless and talking to herself, she looked rather disturbed.
They loved her.
On my days off, I would grab a coffee and paint on the patio with Claddagh right beside me. Once a week we would go on a date and get a burger and french fries and share it on the patio of First Street, and later Squirrels in Corvallis, Oregon. Any place that served beer, burgers, and fries and had a dog-friendly patio, was my kind of spot. I met a lot of people because of Claddagh.
I am going to cut this chapter off here.
There is so much to process. My eyes are wet and dry at the same time. I want to honor her. If you are reading this, thank you for taking the time to get to know my best friend. I look forward to sharing more about her as I am able to sit and write it all down.
“Are you kidding me? You REALLY, believe, that!?!?!”
I don’t say it out loud to anyone… but my brain screams it all the time.
I can be seen silently shaking my head, rolling my eyes back, face toward the sky, hands rubbing my temples and forehead…
I am disbelief, shock, confusion, exasperation, resignation, and sarcastic humor…tightly knotted up on the inside and my inability to understand, what the hell people could be thinking.
A few topics which create an energetic rise in me like this, are things like “the monetary system,” “political structures,” “religious doctrine…”
If you are a person who is deeply connected to these systems, and feel they are Truth, and necessary ..well then at some point if we discuss it, I am going to feel like smacking you in the face in hopes of waking your ass up.
These three things are the biggest fictions running our current paradigm. Few people see through it, or fight it, because they have no better solution, and jumping into the void makes them nervous and fearful.
It’s like an abused woman staying with her abuser, because she does not know where she will go, and she is afraid she will never find love or some one who wants her. Fucked up shit.
Life is sooo cozy for people who have found solace in these times of material quantity, and spiritual slumber. Believing their worth can be quantified by their possessions, and bank account digits. Owning all the proofs of material success; and yet, somehow, always coming up wanting.
Neglecting that nagging internal Truth, that the Spirit, just isn’t really THAT impressed with material wealth.
The mind will retaliate… because it is so accustomed to process and program that it COULDN’T POSSIBLY IMAGINE SOMETHING DIFFERENT… so it will argue for the point…
“But money is nice to have. ”
“If we didn’t have government, everything would be chaos.”
“They are doing this for our safety, and freedom.”
“All you have to do is accept this, and you will be saved.”
“But I give a portion back to society.”
“Maybe they aren’t telling us right now, for our best interests.”
“Well at least I have a roof over my head and food to eat.”
EHHH! Every one of those statements keeps people bound to a reality which no longer really suits them.
Let me ask you a very sincere question…
Do you REALLY believe that the world is full of terrorists, out to usurp your freedoms?
Do you REALLY believe that there are a bunch of people out to get US?
From what I have observed from humanity, is that most people, want to live and let live.
Most people are not inherently “evil.” Rather those who display that sort of behavior, have usually been indocternated or imbalanced in some way which causes that reaction in the world.
So if MOST people are not bad… then why the hell do we let the minority dictate how we exist with one another?
Perhaps it is just laziness? Partially… a large part of it is fear.
Fear of a better idea, fear of failure, fear of self, fear of peers, fear of change, fear of the unknown.
LOOK AT OUR WORLD! The state of affairs is looking rather dim for those of you who still believe the old lies.
Everyday some new information or situation comes to light, with it bringing the opportunity for each person to enlighten themselves. Most people will not take this journey because it is a painful process… and let’s face it, most people avoid pain at all costs. And when it sneaks up, what a dominating mistress can she be.
Choosing to meet with Pain on your own terms can prepare you for the process of letting go and transmuting what once was fearful, into something invigorating… besides, battle scars are hot.
Right now, many people are becoming acquainted with Pain in a new way, for the first time in their lives, because they have avoided themselves for a long time. Submersed in force fed believes. Finding within themselves a sort of bipolar soul which aches so much to expand and break free… yet shackled to it’s scared self, afraid of it’s own power and adaptability.
I don’t want to see this any more… but sadly only those who want to help themselves will. I leave little bread crumbs for those who wish to explore the other side of themselves.
Slowly I have reached a point where I feel bad for those in the world, which continue to ignore their own Inner Knowing, that these structures of control, are only in place to suppress truly Higher Potential. Watching them drain themselves in pursuit of fiction, when infinite Abundance, clarity and Truth are but a breath away.
Do not be afraid of yourSelf. Do not be afraid of what you can not see. But follow your heart, even if it means jumping off the edge into the Void.
The void is all potential…. and this thing you cling to is like a stuffy old box, tired and outgrown.