To remove myself from the impending miserable situation, i am composing this;
agreed upon this date and time
i compose this little rhyme
about a girl in a bit of a mess
a situation leaving her feeling less
boy less drama and petty woes
homeless and poor
but on her toes
….this sucks, to add to a list of woes in my life, I have forgotten how to write. Or perhaps I have lost inspiration. Good poetry is born of misery? Who is reading happy poetry? Worse yet, who writes happy poetry?
I’d be happy if I was busy. And if I was busy, I wouldn’t have time to write poetry.
Those who are writing poetry and professing to be happy, sure must have a lot of time on their hands.
And this is some same old feeling… like I was 12 again.
Have I really matured?
How could it be that I have changed so much, if I still feel the same?
In this state of mind I am not sad about the current issue. At this moment I am completely detached from it.
Yes, I wish things were more convenient but it really isn’t a big deal.
You have people willing to help.
The things I am so attached to, about this relationship, are not things I need.
YOU, are independent, but you are required to be more responsible.
Watch your money, and don’t get too frustrated.
None of the people willing to help you will let you spend a night with out a roof over your head.
Regardless, it is your job to get out of this situation where you need help.
And it REALLY may mean putting some things on hold for a while to get other things in order.
Besides, you have postponed certain things til this point anyway.
Things may suck, but you really don’t know, a REALLY BAD situation. But you sure are afraid of experiencing one.
I know you think you can’t afford that right now…
First priority…make some cash.
Get out of where you are, take all graces, with gracefulness and respect.
Stay friends. Do not burn bridges… You may not plan on crossing them again, but you sure as hell have no reason to burn the one you exited across.
Not talking for a while is not as hard as you are making it. Just make the decision and stick to it. Get over it, stop being so dramatic. This is only going to be as dramatic as you make it.
You were expecting it, and you always said you would just “let it go.”
You are strong. You don’t need the attention you are seeking.
You can handle this . You can be calm and rational.
Better things are waiting.
If you keep freaking out, better things will never happen.
Roll with this, PLEASE!
You need a place, and a car.
Ugh, more bills? More responsibilities?
Comes with the territory.
Where you want to be depends on the individual importance.
Few of you may know, that I went to jail in early 2005. The charges were “domestic dispute with a misdemeanor of assault I went to jail that night for about 16 hours. It was by far one of the strangest things I have ever encountered. I don’t talk about it as a respect to the other party, who really loves his privacy on such matters. Regardless, I really do try and keep a good mindset about all things. And though the jail thing was hairy, I endured it. Upon seeing a court evaluator, I asked “what is the most the court will ask me to do?” He said community service and classes on domestic violence and drug and alcohol abuse. I got the info and got in right away. I found a community art gallery and donated my time to the cause. I wrote this piece two days out of jail… but I had to wait 7 months for a hearing with a judge. In the mean time, I did everything the was going to ask me to… ONLY I DID IT BEFORE THEY ASKED.
At the end of the trial ( there were people on the jury, who had totally bought a pizza from me a Papa Murphy’s) where I was found guilty, the judge talked to me off the record, wherein I shared this piece of writing.
She was impressed with what I had done, and said I could have my record expunged after 4 years, if no other incidence.
There has been no other incidence. I have been single for 7 years. That was my last serious relationship. It ended weird and now I have a mark on my record… why? Why haven’t I had it expunged? Because I would rather put petrol in my car, and buy a six pack then pay yet another $85 dollars into the system I found myself indebted to.
How did I win? Well I guess I cut a lot of drama out of my life after all of that, and yet, at moments knowing what I know; I find myself still fearing the law. Fuck me.
Your Honor,
I come before you a humble and humiliated part of society
my brain screams
“girls like me, don’t belong in jail”
but I compromised what allows me to be free
My reality, assault in the fourth degree
a fight
domestically
Luckily not another tragedy
just a young woman
with too much to drink
a tendency to over think
and a bottle of rage packed inside
These things I over looked
came back to bite
and now I know what a night in jail is like
I can’t remember the succession in which it all happened
Only I know
I don’t want it to happen again
I don’t want a record
or a label like criminal
Since that day
I pay for my actions
Two hundred and fifty
of my cash
goes to bail I owe
Not to mention the
broken double pane window
My brain gets lost when it thinks
of these court costs
My humiliation is evident at my job
with this broken nose
and black eye
No way to disguise.
Humbled as a daughter
who had to call home from a holding cell
didn’t go over so well 2000 miles away.
I’ve been waiting to talk to Your Honor
for weeks, just trying to think what I could do
for Deschutes County to drop these charges against me.
I confess I am willing to do anything
I can to lessen the charge
counseling or deferment
I don’t know yet
I ask your Honor for help
so that I can contain the stress
that made me burst outward
with violence
It makes no sense to me,
how I could act irrationally
but then again
it was that dark part
that comes out with that depressing friend called liquor
it gets that range pumping quicker
until your mind goes black
and you are ready to attack your lover
The marks on my face
disgrace me
Public Humility
evidence of the darkness that exists inside all of us
once let loose
I am only here in Bend temporarily until March 10th
Then I send myself back to middle America
I swear it’s my word and your judgement
Your Honor, I trust what you decide, will fit the crime.
I appreciate you, for allowing me, this time with you.
I can’t stop thinking… or feeling that there is something bigger that I am missing. Something BIGGER than the biggest big I could conceptualize. Everyday the search begins again. Little pieces to the bigger puzzle, leaving me empowered and confused. Addicted to the search. I have gained so many new tools in my stability that I have started to feel that rumble and shake inside telling me to move on and use this newly acquired knowledge.
I received some cash today for art. I put it in a thin necked Vodka bottle. It is harder to get it out that way. I want 500 to travel with. What is 500 bucks? Nothing. Bills in a bottle. I am almost a tenth of the way there. Not bad. Should be easy enough. I make it harder with its easy accessibility. I have to set up my own boundaries. That too should be easy enough as I seem to set some sort of boundary for myself on a daily basis. Not even the good kind. No doubt as I tackle the task of breaking the boundaries I will be learning new skills of survival.
I live very much in a now and present future oriented mindset. I aquire what I need in the moment as a way of confirming my energy in work… I think I am in the surplus. This excites me, I just yet have not seen the total fruits of my labor. This should be exciting fruition.
I have not yet traveled as much as I would have liked, to the distances I have hoped to see. This will be a future manifestation when I finally have something tangible to offer. But what is this; all these journals and pictures? Is that not tangible? Sure but it is the old journey and I am in the drivers seat for something new. I am a pioneer who has yet to pick their path for the destination.
I ask inspiration to guide me into uncharted water. I want to ride the current to a place few find because they fight the flow. Getting caught up in a cove somewhere so close to paradise. Always wondering the great “what if?” (Something I refuse to suffocate from.)
This acquisition of comfort is such a gift. I have all I need and more in this moment, but I need more movement to balance this fixture of roots. I am ready to dive deep and move forward in flow.
I ask that I am offered support, and that I be willing to accept it when it is fulfilling for everyone involved. This is truly and exciting journey.
Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said,
“This could be a good time!”
“There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are torn apart and will suffer greatly.
“Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above water. And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate.
At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, Least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.
The time for the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word struggle from you attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”
— attributed to an unnamed Hopi elder
Hopi Nation
Oraibi, Arizona
(Here is an audio recording I made of my Ode to Water.)
Have you heard of my beautiful friend Water?
The innovator of the phrase “Let it Flow.”
You may have seen her, she gets around quite a bit
Oh that Sweet Water
She is quite the mover and shaker
She has friends all over , and all sorts adore her.
She came to be when her two gay Hydrogen Fathers approached their good friend Oxygen with the idea of creation
new life , beginning.
The conversation had been stirring that life had become a little to stagnant and sticky
The Hydrogens and Oxygen felt a need to let in a little flow
And despite their differences, felt a bit like innovators with their idea
It took a while to figure out a formula that worked…
But then those Hydrogen Fathers sandwiched Oxygen between themselves
And Water was born
Out of polarity came this Neutral Solvant
In a sense it was structured improvisation
All the elements working in their own way
Nature tending toward perfection
Despite how odd the occurrence, or how illogical it may seem
Within this improvisation was a creation of malleability
Water was a mischievous youth and a wonderful teacher
She has always been a fantastic imitator, with a photographic memory
She ran wild through the woods blessing all she could touch
Taking in everything it had to offer
Adding it to herself
And then moving on in her unique way
There was no boundary she could not reach beyond
Even when She was out of sight, she was still around
She traveled where ever her heart wanted to go
Growing large and vast
Connecting herself to everything she came into contact with
Leaving pieces of herself behind as to grow her ideas of prospective change
Magical adaptation
Ultimate mobility and convergence
Water was always ahead of her time
The other elements were a bit jealous of her ability to transmutate herself
Not realizing she was changing them, as she changed herself
In any situation or environment she touched
They marveled at her cooperative relationship to Temperature
And wondered at her ability to patiently weather all stages of her cycles
Even when she was at times Cold as Ice, she was still quite graceful
It was a common observation that she could be the most gentle of the elements
And also one of the most threatening.
When I was a child, my grandfather told me, “If you respect water, She will respect you; If you honor Her, she will teach you to Honor yourself.”
And when I would swim within that skin of Water, I would gently pull my arms down on her
Breaking the surface tension and submersing my self inside her
Thinking always, that she would hold me and move me along
As I grew, I became closer to Water, she enjoyed the respect and came to visit often
She would follow me on all my travels and she never complained about the weather
Except to say she thought the Desert had an unspoken grudge
Which was fine, because I rarely traveled anywhere but through the Desert to some other lush region
We talked long about the Desert, and its sense of helplessness that it disguises through resilience.
Water joked that anywhere she wasn’t allowed to hang out for too long, was no place for anyone to be
Some had accused Water of being a bit of a loiter at inconvenient times
Water knows more about this Earth and everyone on it than you could even imagine.
I suppose if she was anyone else she would be a big gossip, but actually she is a fantastic secret keeper
Water remembered every conversation, every thought, every prayer
She always knew my worries and needs
And when recognized would become the most brilliant amplifier
She absorbed every change, flowed through every integration
When others didn’t want to be like anyone else
Water was always totally herself, meaning to say
Water wanted to be EVERYONE and EVERYTHING always, and forever
Which is exactly what she is
Everything and nothing
She loves when you gaze within her shimmering eyes to see your own reflection
Because you are her, and she is you
She was born knowing that
It is her mission to share that knowledge, hence all of her worldly travels
From the tiniest blood vessel to the widest sea
She’s been there, all up in it
Sometimes she shares the beauty she has experienced through her snowflakes,
little perfect geometric shapes
Water captures prayers and praises and changes them into the most beautiful little expressions
And if you stare at the sky and attempt to catch them on your tongue
Did you know you are taking inside of yourself; someone elses prayer or affirmation as it falls back to earth.
You are sharing a piece of someone else, which has inherently been recorded and crystallized by Water?
When you bathe in water you are sitting in a collection of thoughts and experiences and eliminations.
And Water is in bliss when you finally see it for yourself
Water tells us that just as she must come, she must go
And as she gathers along her way, she must release
She reminds us that as we take time to eliminate her from our bodies, through exertion and elimination
She says it’s good to consciously get rid of old thoughts that are no longer serving us
And that it is also a process in the cycle to appreciate and honor
At times it may seem Water is stressed out by life
Angered by the sight of pain and dis-ease
And she will come wailing in from the sky hitting eyes of passers by as they run for shelter
In her seeming helter skelter
And people curse her for reigning down
Thinking, something as gentle as water should never create waves
But some days she can’t help herself. She can be a catalytic force to be reckoned with.
It would be ridiculous to think one with such a brilliant memory would remember to be gentle all the time
Think of all the pain and destruction she has seen not at her own hand
Like tears in your eyes sometimes things need to be washed away
To clean house and start over
She has shared so much of herself with us
And we have unconsciously given back so much crap
That at times it seems like she is attacking
But She, just as we, at times need to purge
What most fail to see is the lesson of our own reflection
Our willingness toward emotional pollution
Our blames and lack of solutions
Our anger at our environment and ourselves
Our desire for help
But our unwillingness to change
What if change just means perspective
Water has been teaching us the whole time that our ability to handle all of this is within our control
But we let go of our cooperation some time ago
Slowly there are those hoping to win it back
They see the potential of fluidity in humanity
They understand the plan at the hand of Water
They want her to guide us
Because she cut her own path
And she constantly goes back to Source
She learns and takes with her wherever she goes
She flows freely, changing environmentally, adding to biology
Always giving back
Constant cycles
Her consciousness is ALL of US
We can not exist with out what she has to offer
Her filing cabinet is the planet,
It is the record keeper and proof that she was here and somehow, someway made a difference
Now is our chance to share our appreciation for Water
If everyday we choose to Bless her, she will be more willing to share her secrets with us
The first secret is this, you are never far from Truth and change than when this you do
Say, “Water, Great recorder keeper, Great Transmutator, Blessed Giver of Life
I honor You, I thank you! I love you, for you are the cutter of the path, the source of moisture to the Earth, Vapor of the Rainbows, A silent White morning Evident in our Sky
You flow around me, through me, and back to the Earth
Constantly changing , and yet always staying in some form
Water, I bless you, I honor you
Thank you Great Teacher
I walk in the path of respect for You”
Thank her daily, and her secrets will seep inside of you
One must ask first for her knowledge
It is part of sacred development to learn to ask for it
And then to be willing to receive what She has to offer
She teaches her lessons many ways, and one must not judge it with any sense of duality
Water is not good or bad
She is what she is.
The reflection of the observer
Blessed to have her as a Great Teacher
Always blessed to be her Student
But this too is perspective,
Water has been known to manipulate change in the perspectives of others
The difference is in the conscious realization
Which is when she says to you “let it flow. Just let it go and ride with it.
Take a deep breathe, keep your eyes open and drop off the edge
Get really, really wet
Don’t fight the current, watch out for obstruction
The dream of the family. The one that is not so pulled away from what good times mean. The ones who drink in one another’s company. And despite difference see beneath it the string of familiarity and inescapable unity. Who are we to deny this for ourselves in our humanity. Who are we, as individuals, to be spreading anything more than that unity. Who are we, to enable the disease of hate? For until we all find a pinnacle of perfection in ourselves and one another, we are bound to continue breaking each other down. Even you, in your individuality, are part of a system. A system of parts and pieces that work together to bring function. If your mind decides it does not love the self, then the mind will work against the body at every turn. Eventually it will break down in illness. If we do not love and support one another as a system, it will continue to break down.
In this system we are bigger than politics, bigger than natural disasters, more brighter and full of potential than any self help seminar.
When your mind rebels against your heart, you have set yourself against yourself. It will, in time, turn you against those who support you.
All of these are thoughts, which serve as multidimensional creatures. Thoughts do not just stay inside of the head, for they are not separate from the blood, and our blood is not separate from water. Water flows into us and out of us. The water from source, the exhalation of prayers into the night sky and the clouds above. All water is a physical manifestation of thought. It is our Earth’s life blood. It is in a sense, the greatest library of existence, flowing through each of us, sustaining us.
Bless the water, bless yourselves. The transmutation you deeply seek in these tumultuous times is one you have control over. When you bless the water, and you bless yourself you chose with your thoughts and breathe to be the best and brightest form of yourself. The wisdom of the water, the keeper of our thoughts; will bring to the surface that which best meets your needs at the time and place of your journey now. For we know water can cut canyons, creating beauty. But a tsunami of water can also destroy what you always thought you knew. It cleans you off when you are dirty, your life force builds within it when you are being cradled in the womb. There is no terrain water has not touched, no scene in history when it did not exist. The knowledge you seek is already in side of you. Like a library, you will find the answers you seek, once you are looking in the right section. First you must acknowledge a need to go where the answers are. It is time to consciously walk through the door.
In my dream I was told that nothing was gonna happen, nothing was going to change, that the biggest deception of all, believing the world will rearrange.
And in my dream I thought to myself, well if nothing changes, than I refuse to go on, because I have a purpose inside that tells me I have to keep keepin’ on.
The East and the West are melding and lines have only been drawn in our minds. This Red Electric Skywalker will teach you to walk the thin line, then how to absolve what you find.
In physicality we have demonstrated demonology, we have played the part of duality, it has been inside of you and me for as long as we remember.
But when you slumber there are chances to rise above it. To see what it has done to us. You’ve chosen your own symbology, decided what it means to be: Human.
But the Spirit in you, the one you haven’t given much credit to, has been on the sidelines this entire time guiding you through the mucky muck, when you thought it was just random luck.
Face it, we have been coerced to see the worst in ourselves and one another. We understand now the possibility that lies within negativity.
It’s become so blatant to see all around us. We have fussed, and fought; been internally wrought with confusion. We have ignored our own solutions. The little hiding gem beneath the soiled dirt, beyond the pain and hurt, is love.
Just love unconditional.
When you dig down to find it, you will be guided by the light it gives. And when you finally hold it in your hands, you understand the duality of man, and how to transcend it. We weren’t left here with out devices to find love when the time was right. So now, it is time for the light to absolve us. To lighten the load below us. To walk the clouds of confidence that lift us in love.
For the things you do not love in yourself, there is solution. Change yourself in internal evolution, let your cells speak of revolution, for they are fighting back. When the vibrations of the lower start to choke you, let Universal Unconditional Love, stroke you back to health.
You are a potential wealth of love. No one can give it to you, find it for you, or tell you exactly where to go… but if you listen without judgment, that heaven sent map will guide you on your individual way, to the place of your hearts calling.
So to those who dismiss the greatest mission we have ever had, well they just haven’t found theirs yet.
Let go of the things you’ve been told forever, walk through the stormy weather with a smile. All the while knowing, that this motion is the needed emotion to making the world a little bit better.
I might be going off the deep end here but re-watch the matrix… ok, now what i am thinking is that when i break down all these names that have been happening through the generations here in America, i find common threads all over, so if we live in the matrix than it is a sort of string theory tying it all together.
Names in our family range from Robert, Amanda, and Franklin, to Makepeace, Submit, Appendix , Addendum, Randall, Thankful, Orange, Charity, Severance, Consider, Porter, Polly Esther (your kidding right?) Perry, Naddy… the list goes on and it is FUCKIN creative… a story tellers dream pit of fictional names.
The stories are funny because repetition is a bitch. You know how many young men and women have lost their partners and children in this family? Too many to mention. It’s all been done before. SOO my methodical, logical, creative, imaginative, and analytical brain asks… well if all the signs are there that we have done this one way before, but the signs also say we were always trying to do something different, and handle things a different way, what is it we can do, in the here and now, with all that knowledge to do things so extremely and beneficially different that it is different than any time before with similar circumstance.
My answer is love. My answer is to see the signs, and the connection, look through the bullshit and realize your divinity, your participation in making this bigger story possible. Be content, astounded and amazed daily by it. Giggle at the recognition. Revel at the chance to change the future with this knowledge, pass it along as your heart feels fit. That is what now is, all of us seeing that we have made this up forever, and now is a time to act and react differently than any time before.
I think the wisdom of the wise women was bestowed on me once, I am not sure where. But they couldn’t pass it down in any other way, than the word through the vibration.There were pictures before there were letters, and when the letters took over, the pictures in their true meaning lost their importance, and so they sat sort of lost. Until the vibration in their soul recognized their true meanings. So is the story of all of time. There have been powers desecrating the word, messing with it’s vibration for a very long time. Civilizations have been killed for it. When once the story of time was passed from voice vibration, and picture, split faction. The story changes but certain pivotal points remain as guide stones. The rest is recognized through the heart and spoken through that spot in the mind. We’ve put it in our water, all our old thoughts, we’ve sent our wishes and prayers to the sky, condensation from our own breath adding to the atmosphere. We have drank from an unending stream of thought, action, contemplation, and history through the process of water of which our body is 98%. We have DNA, which holds a whole other story of possibility and then the addition of circumstances, and experience.
But then we have our mind and body. How they interact with one another and the world around us. That feeling of sickness after being around some one who sucks the life force out of you…
We have the knowing something just isn’t right, or the “unintentional” injury which grounds us from an obligation or engagement for some reason. There is always a reason. I am here, because I remember. I have done this ALL before. SO have you, but you have to see it and feel it for yourself, so that is your responsibility if you chose to take it on. I have seen this for myself forever, I am here because this is it for me. This is the time I GET IT. This is the time, that I share all of what I know and throw caution to the wind, because this, this physical thing, is what it is, temporary, but this knowing inside of me goes on and one forever and ever amen.
So this is the beginning of download you may or may not be aware of at this moment. If you watch my videos you get my vibe. I am your friendly grandmother, and your cool ant, and your best friend and your older sister. I am here to encourage the enlightenment of others by seeing themselves for so much more than main stream allows them to be. There are 13 tribal grandmothers in the world who carry the stories. I think I may be one who carries on that lineage.
I am either so full of shit that i should have crap in my mouth at this moment, or there is a reason i have felt really odd and special my whole life, and why i have felt depressed and in need of information… but Dad, seriously, I AM HIGH on the fact that I know I don’t want to be anything more than me, and in my totality of ability, and these deep seated dream like desires we have are not pointless or with out reason, they are actually like a pirate map to the treasure. Video game, Matrix, Synchronicity, Irony, Manipulation… on and on, basically we know what the secret codes are, but the computer playing against us sets up distractions from getting to the goal,so if you lost the guide book to the game, or the cheat sheet, you are left to your own perhaps incapable devices. Most people when they talk about playing the game or the game plays you, are talking far more materially. But this is more like the Spiritual game, and how to play it, is to first recognize you are playing it, that there is a game happening, and then you figure out who you are, and what roll you play and all the while you do this you build your artillery, and you move up the ranks and complete challenges, until you are at a place where you are in the final stage. And all of the challenges are basically a cumulative of all the other levels, and you can sort of predict the behavior and know what to do, but that final, final level, is EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE. And it is sooo muther fucking overwhelming, more intense than any other end level challenge, because this is the FINALE, sooooo how do you respond?
With confidence, knowing, recognition, and perhaps after a couple of trial runs, a NEW strategy.
Running, running, always running. But it only seems to break an internal sweat. I am sick of myself lately. Sick of how I look. It isn’t my hips that are bothering me this time. It’s my skin. My epidermal tissue. My biggest organ. I have burning inside of me and I am feeding it with fire and spicy foods. If I am already burning inside, why am I introducing more fire?
My life feels stagnation and I am burning holes into myself from the inside out. I am smoking as I write, I see the growing problem and it’s influences. I need a purpose to start my day differently. I have grown accustom to my lazy life. I am unsure how to get back on track because this aesthetic that I speak of keeps me tied down alone.
Sunbtle shifts of attitude come when men pay attention to me. Using the influence like a drug, feeding myself until it runs out and I slump inside myself again. Riding from one high to the next propelled by hormones. When the options have dried up, so do I .
I felt it again last night. I want to run far away and start again. But not all the the way back to the beginning. I am sort of sick of beginnings that lead to these ends. Something has got to change and I know it is me. I just feel so lost I’m not sure where to start and I am having a tough time taking advice from those who are also struggling. I need find successful support. I am ready.
Is asking enough because I feel I have been asking for a long time now, and it’s like I am still just treading water. I want the water to quench my fire.
Think of all those times you told yourself that you suck.
Or maybe you aren’t “good “ it.
Or maybe how many times you confirmed you were “lucky.”
We have categorized ourselves, and chanted mantras we call labels; embedding ourselves in archetypes we don’t necessarily want, but feel are necessary. Some one has to be the ”loser” and the “winner,” right?
You can observe any group of people and see the power trips and roles everyone steps in to. While in their minds and hearts, they feel so much more than they express. Just day to day dealing, taking over the roles of our forefathers.
The styles change, and yet, the attitudes stay the same?
I do see the cracking of a brilliant uprising.
The take off is perhaps slower than some one of this “instant gratification” mind set would like… but it IS happening.
I remember where I come from. It seemed so behind; on fashion… I had to travel at least 50 miles away for anything “hip.” I thought style had something to say about how progressive a place was, and it was obvious to me; my home town was not it.
Now, I am not going to say I am a fashion guru, or anything; but I have noticed that things I sway toward, end up finding their way into main stream. Not because I copy any one, but because I work with what I have. It is ecclectic and recycled. I make unique personalization where I can.
That plain and simple is my take on EVERYTHING.
That is how I have lived, even when I lived in a place where thinking that way was treated as unacceptable by most authority.
And yet those who supported it, are the reason I continue today. Attempting to allow the Authenticity to SHINE.
So we go back to things changing and the need for affirmation.
Well, where I come from, I thought, “this is so bass ak-wards. This will be the last place that get’s it.”
I couldn’t explain “it” to you then, but all it is, is truth and authenticity…
I am glad to say that I think my peers are getting it. I think it is less where we came from, but who in our hearts we knew we wanted to be. We just had the open spaces to experience it.
Those of us, who chose to grow up where we did; when we did, to those family we choose. We did so because we knew the time was right, and what we had to do was important. We would also have the right space and freedoms; as well as challenges to formulate those ideals for ourselves.
Perhaps we don’t remind ourselves and each other that enough.
We ARE here for something.
We Do have a lot to learn, and teach.
Things are changing and it is BECAUSE of US!
Perhaps that is the affirmation we all need.
Not sometimes,
BUT EVERY DAY!
Not all of us are blessed with wide open spaces, or rugged outdoor places to see divinity in it’s more serene state. Perhaps all you have is the bustling city.
Regardless, the face of creation and expansive expression is there.
And YOU are a part of it.
It is not unattainable.
It is UNAVOIDABLE.
People most recognize and love this in children. Especially their own.
They are in awe at their own creation.
But each of us, is that.
Embodiment of creation.
We are nothing but creativity.
Every idea, every movement.
Every sentence, and every action.
Good, or bad. To each his or her own…
It is an improvisational play, where most of the roles are inherited; picked up, adopted… but our amazing creativity allows so much more.
The secret caverns of our heart tell us through weird emotions like, jealousy, and anger.
There must be; there is, so much more!
If you have ever said to yourself; I wish I was an artist, a writer, an actor, a musician.
I would say to you this, You ARE!
You have every moment to be an artist at living life. Dancing your way through circumstance and painting yourself OUT of a corner.
A writer of your own script, for your life; through your affirmation and attitude. Will you only observe or will you chose to participate?
You are the star of your life, and you can be anything you chose, but only if you take action through choice… other wise you are chosen by life for the role you play in the cast. You can only ask yourself how you ended up in the ensemble if you never stood up for the staring role.
And YOU and only you can beat YOUR drum, whether or not you follow the beat of those around you, is solely up to you. But every one has their own rhythm and style, it’s up to the player to practice their song.
Do not say you wish to be any of these things… Only realize you already are that which you seek, and step whole heartedly into your place. If you don’t, you will have no one to blame but yourself for not taking a chance, on all you have been given; YOURSELF.
We are all feeling the growing pains of realization. Encourage yourself, and one another as you see yourselves for who you forgot you were.
To remove myself from the impending miserable situation, i am composing this;
Madge Midgely 