As I say goodbye to one platform, I open myself up for new explorations. Tonight I recorded a bit of a rundown toward my reason to deactivate my account and put the focus on other places. Join me on this audio journey- and do whatever you want when it comes to your own social media- but if your intuition says “let’s get out of here.” GO, and post haste.
Have you shut it off yet? Do you want to? Let me know about it. I will read what you post and, if you want to interview about it- I am more than happy to hear about your experience. I look at it as walking out of the most unintentionally dysfunctional polyamourous relationship, I never meant to get into.
Sit back relax, and let me tell you about Saying Goodbye to Facebook.
Once upon a time our hearts were actually inside of ourselves. Now you may say, “Our hearts ARE inside of ourselves.” And you would be only partially correct.
We do have our internal, biological hearts and we must- in order to live this physical, biological life. However, our heart, isn’t just some blood pumping organ and it wouldn’t be immortalized so poetically if that was it’s only purpose.
The heart is the cross roads of the body and the spirit that lives within the body, pumping life force miles a day through the blood.
“The Sacred Heart”
“Bless Your Heart”
“Home is Where the Heart is.”
There is an undeniable feeling when something “hits you in the heart” or perhaps you feel “heart sick”.
Over time these emotional connotations calcify into biological dis-ease/discomfort/ illness. The ability to transform becomes the chaotic output we experience as dissonance. Healing is eliminated to the unseen end of a broad spectrum. Life becomes cold, the hearth is empty or piled with coal.
You can say you “love” all day. But where is your spark? Do you even acknowledge your Hearth? Do you know your Sacred Flame?
The Hearth is the the middle ground cross road. The Sacred Heart/ Flame is the inner eye, yet another cross roads of perceptions- leading further north the the crown which acts as a beacon to the Ever After and All That Is.
“To be woke” doesn’t mean to be falling head over heals in MDMA love over everything. Nor does it mean to be knee deep in historical controversy without any attachment to Source/Spirit.
You become a different sort of conduit of perception when you are woke, because your heart helps process the mind with assistance through Spirit. The entire biological and spiritual mental systems attach to the greater All as it aggregates information that seeks to know Truth.
That is it.
Truth has proven that it has been divided. Truth has shown how that division has expressed itself on the micro and Macro. We represent all of it from top to bottom, free will is each of us choosing a direction; simply put acknowledge the hearts and cross roads and act on the high road, or not. Maybe there will be another time for you to re-evaluate in the future?
What is the cross road? Left. Right. Forward.
What determines outcome? Intention. Perspective. Adaptability.
There is no “One” cross road. We encounter them daily to some degree.
The vibration of the soul, and the blood combined brings forth our flesh, in this spiritual contract we manifest in form, the features of history within us.
It’s true that they are attempting to kill off certain bloodlines. To suppress certain peoples. Those peoples feel the Truth in their own life blood. It’s required that they meet a certain range in vibration in order to be activated.
There are many yet to activated and they are being drawn in various directions in order to harvest the life force they have left while being blind to their own brilliance.
In actuality the frequency and vibration is killing off those who seek to kill off the “Natural Light.”
This is where we meet the trans-human agenda. The desire for clones and all around trans-formative manipulation geared toward infinite longevity.
Those of Natural Light in Creation know the Truth. It was contract as such. We don’t need modern technology to utilize it, once we remember it exists.
The best thing technology gave us, was the ability to reconnect instantly. The result is an archive of shared remembrance. If this medium goes away, know that your heart has an internal voice that needs no words to speak. You have internal eyes that see beyond your dreams. You have a gut that brings awareness to things that are amiss.
We are already full operating systems that have to remember how to get back to the home feed- alone. That is Heaven, or Infinity. The journey is singular at your own pace until it isn’t.
If you have been feeling something is amiss; it has been. If you feel a strange shift; it’s shifting. If you feel a calling for Higher Truth; follow it.
Are you familiar with the action of a wrecking ball?
That is Sara Goossen in a nutshell. The lady is powerful, energetic, and ready to knock excuses out of the way. She is a bright and compassionate person who sees the potential in people and then helps individuals harness their inner bad ass. This talent is an imperative staple in her personal business model.
October 1, 2012, Sara opened Fit Body Boot Camp- Cheyenne, with 14 clients. Her goal is to change the lives of 5000 of Cheyenne’s citizens by 2017. As of April 2015, she has trained and cultivated a community of 1200 residents who are interested in adopting a healthy life style. That is an average of 400 people a year, getting active and aware in the fair city of Cheyenne and it’s surrounding areas. No small feat for this 5’3″ wrecking ball.
Sara and I got together to discuss her fitness past and her optimistic fitness future; how she came to start FBBC and some of her own trials and tribulations in the fitness process.
Before I jump into the interview, I would like to state that when you are looking for a gym, and a support system to help you change your habits; having a leader like Sara is imperative because she has run the gamut of unhealthy eating and body weight issues. She has children, she knows struggles and excuses. She has taken initiative on her own, in her own life in order to transcend her past hang ups. In turn Sara has turned hardships into valuable insight for those at any point in their fitness journey.
It may be easier for certain people to take her ethic very seriously because she didn’t start out on this lifestyle right after high school or college before having children; when most women’s bodies are still in that youthful metabolism. She wasn’t always healthy. It was a choice that she had to dedicate herself to; which meant a long road of challenges that led to the changes that are evident in her today.
Let’s find out more, shall we?
WEIGHT: 145.3 lbs
FAVORITE EXERCISE: RUNNING STAIRS, WORKING THE BACK, AND SQUATS
LEAST FAVORITE EXERCISE: BUILDING CLIMBERS
Let’s talk about your fitness past, eating disorders, all that stuff.
It goes so far back, it’s disturbing… so, okay, 10 years old; my mom told me I needed to stop eating granola bars because they were making me fat and at that point in time I had just finished some book, I can’t remember the title of, and it was talking abou this girl who would throw up, because she was so fat. So…I…followed suit.
Thank God for Children’s Literature, right?
Yeah, I was like, “Well, now I am well informed and I can solve this problem.
(Sara reminences with awkward laughter.)
So, at ten years old that started fourteen years of just roller coaster disordered eating; ranging the spectrum of binging and purging to just starving myself. When I got pregnant with my son, when I was sixteen, I kind of just said “Fuck it. It doesn’t matter if I am skinny; it doesn’t matter if I am fat…I am pregnant. I can eat whatever I want and have no guilt.” I gained 50 pounds when I was pregnant with him, and I lost ten. I lost some weight nursing, but after I stopped nursing him, I continued the disordered eating cycle.
Just picked it up where you left off?
Yep, just picked it up right where I left off. And I knew… I was an athlete in high school, I knew about nutrition but it’s not something that I ever listened to because disordered eating was so much easier than learning how to feed myself. At nineteen I married my now ex-husband, (my daughters’ father) and gained all that “happy weight” I maxed out the scale before we got married, at 197 lbs…. so, I looked like a cow in my wedding dress.
Thank god for girdles….
After that we were trying to get pregnant with Emma, and couldn’t get pregnant… couldn’t get pregnant. We tried for two years, and I finally went to the doctor and asked “what is going on?” I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and the doctor told me that I had to make a lifestyle change, or else…. “you’re going to end up with diabetes; you are more apt to have certain types of cancer, you are just going to get fatter, your thyriod is going to peter out…” All the things that go along with PCOS… “This is your future. You either make a change now or enjoy your future where it is headed.”
At that point I sought help because I knew my disorder was no longer a sustainable way to live life. It wasn’t mentally or emotionally healthy.
So I lost about 20 lbs. and we got pregnant with Emma through a series of fertility treatments. When I was pregnant with Emma I only gained about 20 lbs and then I lost it all right away. At that point they (the doctors) said “Well you are probably not going to be able to have any more children, so don’t worry about it.” And I thought, okay, cool; I am just going to go back to doing the whole weight loss thing, because I still had fifty pounds to go.
So I lost another twenty pounds, and then I got pregnant with my daughter Ileena… BOOM! I remember going to my dads house and saying, “Well… I am pregnant again just when I was gettting my ‘sexy’ back.” My grandma looks at me and says “Well honey, maybe that’s the problem.”
Double edged sword on that one…
Yeah! So I got pregnant and did that whole thing and I only gained fifteen pounds with Ailena , and I lost that all right away. November 2009 I found Body For Life, Bill Phillips, transformation.com ; whom I heard about from my step-mom. So I thought, I am going to try this thing. (Everybody thought I was crazy for starting during the holidays.) It was pretty easy; three days of lifting, three days of cardio, all high intensity intervals. By doing that the next three months I was able to loose the rest of the weight. About half way through that three month process I was like “Ya, know, I want to help other people because I can do this as some one who has struggled their whole life with eating well and taking care of themselves … I can help some one else do this.”
I got my personal training certification.
How long did that take you?
It was about four months and about that time I was working for my dad as his administrative assistant amoung other things. I decided that I would try this training thing before and after work, and see what happens. I did that and it just blew up, so in June 2010, I quit my job working for my dad and I started training full time.
I was doing a lot of one on one training and two boot camp sessions at a local gym. I was making money, doing something I love. I worked there for two years and I left because there were some issues that made it neccessary for me to get out of that environment. I decided, I am just going to start my own place; I left and they came after me with for violating my no-compete/ no-solicitation agreement.
Looking back, I was so mad at the time. I was furious, like how could they do this? How can this stand up? Well, it stood up because I had solicited the people who had signed up with me, but were also their clients. I had to take a year off of training and I went back to working for my dad for a year and within that year I knew I needed to do something. I was miserable.
When you are following a life of passion and suddenly it is taken away; it’s like the wind has been knocked out of your sails. You don’t even feel like a human being. I started looking down in Colorado for places I could move to and open up. I was doing all this during the same time I was being sued and working for my dad; I also had gotten a divorce from my kids father. It was everything that could go wrong, did.
I was at an impass; like shit, what do I do?
I looked down in Boulder and I spent about six months driving back and forth, just looking for a location I could open up. I encountered road block after road block.
By this point I had already talked to the CEO of Fit Body, who has been a long time friend. I told them, I want to do this but I have to wait until this year is up or I am screwed.
Was that part of your Non-compete agreement? Did you have a time limit to wait?
Yes, that was the year. One year to the day, October 1, 2012; we opened up with fourteen clients. I was just so excited to be open and be able to do what I love to do. That’s it… the rest is history. Here we are today; looking for another space, a bigger place… sitting down with the bank and talking about bigger loans.
That’s pretty quick, only three years.
Yeah, less than three years actually.
How do you know the CEO of Fit Body?
The fitness industry is so small, it really is. So if you don’t know every one you soon will if you stay in it long enough. I met him doing a master mind. I was in there with the two founders of Fit Body Boot Camp, Steve Hochman and Bedros Keuilian. I was in Steve’s Master Mind and through that I met Bedros. We had several conversations and talked on the phone several times, emailed back and forth; He called me up one day and said ” What’s it going to take to get you to open a Fit Body? And I told him, “You know what it will take, you know what I am up against right now. It’s going to have to take one hell of a deal and some patience and that is where it’s at.” So he said “Alright, let’s make it happen.”
At this point it was going from licensing to a franchise, so they were looking for people and I just happened to be one of those people.
Do you get together with other gym owners?
I do know a lot of the Fit Body owners simply because we get together quarterly; every three months, usually in San Diego or Chino Hills, California. There is a great community with in Fit Body, even from a corporate structure coming all the way down to the clients. It’s nice that we can just continue to pay it forward. It’s pretty cool, and a very unique situation.
Would you like to talk about your competition stuff?
OH YEAH! Sure! I don’t want to bore you to tears with business.
I first competed in August of 2011, I also ran the Denver half marathon in October 2010, and after that I gave myself permission to never run again. (laughter.) I find it really useless and painful. It turns out I am better suited for lifting heavy things than go fast.
Did you do this on your year of sabbatical?
No, it was right before everything blew up in my face. Then I competed in my second figure show August 2013.
Did you win anything?
I did. I placed 5th in the second show, I was pretty excited about that. Granted there were only six figure competitors, so I was 5th, but I was happy to have something to take home, regardless.
My first show I did there were 36 figure competitors, and I think I finished 34th. So I was like, “I think I have improved!”
Were these in Wyoming?
The one in 2011 was in Loveland, Colorado. The Warrior Classic, and the other one was in Wyoming, and that was the Jay Cutler Classic. And that Dude, is a Big Dude. I have a picture of him somewhere.
He was there?
Yeah, he is huge! He is a moose of a man! My head is as big as his shoulder!
He could pick you up in the palm of his hand!
Honestly I am getting the bug again, to compete. I am trying to weigh out the time commitment that it takes, along with my other obligations to see what it will take… if it’s something I can feasibly do right now while keeping everything else balanced. I do love competing .
If you wait to have your own place, you could put on your own competition, in house competition. Then you won’t have to go too far.
That is one of the most fun things about competition; you get to meet so many interesting people from all over the country. People who are busting their asses just to get super lean for just a minute. It literally lasts a day. You deplete enough to have a six pack for a day, and then you gain 20 pounds the next day because you drink water. It’s crazy.
It would be interesting to time lapse a person going through the build up to competition, and then the 24 hours afterward. Once you get the tanner off, and start drinking water again, it’s like what the hell? You blossom like a flower.
You still eat, you carb load the day of to fill out your muscles because you have depleted to the point that you have taken all the glycogen and striped your body of literally everything. It’s not something you want to do often because it is kind of dangerous, BUT, it’s still fun to push your mental ability and physical barriers. That is big for me, because I love the challenge.
Are you a challenge junkie?
I totally am! I love the personal challenge. Competing against other people is fun, but figure prep is anywhere from 2-5 months.
It’s kind of interesting that you have struggled with disordered eating which is in and of itself sort of an addiction, and pushing your body to a limit and challenging it, but not in a very healthy way. And here you have turned your addiction around to a healthier way of expressing it. Yet, there are still these extremes that you go to.
It totally is. What I think helps me with competing and the lifestyle of body building is the structure that it provides. It’s like a security blanket. You take some one with an eating disorder who has struggled with that their entire life, and you say, “you don’t have to struggle, here is some structure. Have a nice day.” It’s like, “okay, this is safe.”
Then the biggest struggle, is will power to be able to keep on the regamine.
Yeah, it’s like any other fitness goals… as long as you have that dead line… the finish line at the end; it makes it that much easier. It’s not like you have to do this for a lifetime or else… It’s here is your dead line, and then you reset the goal. And that is something that is really, really exciting for me.
Through competing I learned to accept my body, where ever it is; whether I am 120 pounds or 145. I am still strong, I am still beautiful and I am still worthy of love and acceptance and success. That is one of those things that I have accidentally learned through the process. It is a by product.
I know a lot of people who compete who struggle with that mindset. Like if they don’t have a six pack they are done for. They are like “Oh My God, My Life Is OVER!”
It basically boils down to bulemia or dysmorphia. It’s all activated on the same brain wave length, same neurological pathway. It’s been nice to find freedom from that as I have gotten older. To not be stressed out about the numbers, to see yourself and be like “You look good!”
IT’s a good example to your kids, too.
I hope so. Sometimes I wonder, “am I ruining these little people?”
Instead of “You’re the reason mommy has a drinking problem,” it’s more like “You are the reason mommy has an exercise problem.”
That’s funny beacause when I took two months off earlier this year, my kids were like “what is wrong with her?” I did not feel like myself. I felt like I was insane most days; like absolutely bat shit crazy.
You needed to be exerting yourself.
Yeah, I needed that rush of endorphins and I think it was something that I had always taken for granted because I have been doing it for so long, it’s just been part of my life for so long. When I completely took it out, I had no idea the impact it would have on me. Not just physically but spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I got to tell you, the week we started working out again, my husband and I; He was like “Gosh you are so much easier to be around.” And I knew he meant that in the sweetest way possible, instead of being a jerk, and I was like “I know, trust me, it’s easier to be in my head.” I went to the doctor and I asked am I schitzophrenic, what is going on here? And she said “I think you are depressed.” And I just needed exercise.
So tell me about your favorite success story to come out of here.
My favorite one, honestly, is from when I very, very first started. He followed me when I opened Fit Body. His name is Austin, he was 16 when he came to me he was 386 lbs. and he was tall and huge. He knew he had a problem. He was home schooled so he didn’t have a lot of interaction with other kids. The reason he was home schooled was because when he was in school, the other kids were just horrible to him because he was so big and kind of awkward and quiet.
He would come, every single day to Boot Camp. At that point in time, they were 1 1/2 hour sessions, he would show up at 6:00 AM, every day. And even if he couldn’t do it, he would struggle through it.
He asked me, “what do I eat? how do I do it?”
His mom was onboard, but I didn’t see her much. Sometimes she would come and walk while he did Boot Camp. Every now and then she would come talk to me, well when I took the year off, Austin started power lifting and he took his focus off the weight loss. Then he came over to Fit Body when I opened, and he brought his mother with him, and they did it together.
It was just so, so, so cool. He ended up losing 110 lbs by the time he was 19. Then they moved to Oregon. He was such a great, great kid. It was just so cool to see how he was able to influence his mom because it’s usually the parents who influence the kids. He was able to influence his mom after two years of going at it by himself.
Was she also over-weight?
Yes, she was, but such a nice, nice gal. I look back on those two, especially Austin and I think “That kid could have made every excuse in the world because teenagers do, adults do. Teenagers learn from what the adults model.” He just was like “I am tired of this. I am tired of being the ‘fat kid’. I don’t mind being a ‘big kid’, I am 6’3″. But I am tired of being the ‘fat kid'”
The last Halloween he was here, he dressed up as The Hulk; and that involved taking off his shirt, and painting himself green, and walking around with out a shirt on. Two years prior to that you would have never seen him do that. It was so cool to see him blossom from this awkward quiet, video gamer (indoor) kid to this little ball of life and energy, and sass.
It was fun to not only see his journey of weight loss but also to see how he grew as a person. To see him evolve into an adult from a kid that just didn’t want to be fat and made fun of.
Do you stay in contact with him?
I do. I stay more into contact with his mom because he is a young adult now and all over the place.
It would be interesting to see if he takes a career in Fitness from this influence. It seems like people who a great at teaching come from a past of being ostersized.
So, we have touched on this, but obviously Fitness has a positive effect on your homelife.
Oh God, yeah! The kids are like “Mom, go work out, you are driving us crazy.” It is also nice though, because my husband and I can share it together. Every morning Monday through Saturday we go work out together, and then go to work and do our thing. It’s been a good bonding experience for us too. Although it did take us three years for him to come and work out with me. The first time we exercised together, he was having a bad day and we were just friends at the time. I was like “he’s having a bad day, just go lift, and he will be fine.” Well a half hour in, he is dry heaving on himself, and I was like ” I thought you were in shape?” Well, after that he didn’t come back to work out with me for three years. And he comes to boot camp, and he makes it through the whole thing, and after that he said “I am going to have to wait until you are ‘deconditioned’ a little before we can work out together.”
He took the oppertunity while I took two months off to “even the playing field.”
Since then it has been nice, in the last couple of months to have that morning time with my husband because we have five kids… we need that time together. It’s nice to have that time and cheer each other on.
What are some of your future goals?
Really my mission is just to help people and it always has been. I am in the business of changing lives and if I am not changing lives, then I am doing something wrong.
YOU RUINED MY LIFE THROUGH EXERCISE!
Ha, ha! Oh man, if some one said that to me, I would have to reevalute everything. I really do just want to leave an impact on this world. And, Cheyenne… God Bless it, and all of it’s citizens; (but Cheyenne) is a FAT city. Overweight, unhealthy; spiritually, mentally and physically. People are over worked and under paid, or over worked and over paid. They have little or no time for their families , no time for themselves; no time to do anything. So we have people spinning their wheels, but for what? At the end of the day if you don’t have your health, you have nothing left. I don’t want to out live my children. I see obese kids around and I want to slap their parents. I don’t want to beat the kids, but I want to slap the parents. It makes me so mad. But then I look at it, and you have to change the lives of the parents before you can change the lives of the children. At the end of the day, it is our job as adults to make those responsible decisions. It isn’t easy, but it is our responsiblity.
It’s in my heart to change the health of this community, if not the entire community of Wyoming, but that’s a long way off down the road. I want to continue to make a difference in peoples health and in their lives.
Thirty minutes of exercise might not seem like much, but it can change how a wife treats her husband. She is in a better mood, she feels better about herself, she feels more attractive… she actually wants to be with her husband instead of saying ” I don’t see what you see, at all.”
It changes how a mother treats her children because she has more energy, she will want to take them to the park, or go hiking and do stuff. Or maybe she is just in a better mood and doesn’t want to paddle their butts just for being little people.
It is just fitness, it is just a work out… but it can change EVERYTHING. I have seen it with myself. I saw it when I started my journey years ago and I still see it today. If I don’t work out, I need to work out because I start feeling ‘cagey’ inside. Anxious.
What has your biggest triumph been in your personal fitness journey?
I think just staying the course. Every day is a new day. I can’t say one event has been a real defining moment in my health and fitness journey. I think it just staying course with the lifestyle. I mean sometimes I fall off, just like anyone. I go on a little cookie diet, when I feel stressed, and then I gain eight pounds and then I have to lose it again. At the end of the day just knowing that I am doing what I need to be doing is just great. But when I am not doing that I can tell a difference. So for me, it’s just committing to the lifestyle.
Is there anything you would want to change?
No. Not really because I believe even the hard stuff is lessons. And I think I am far more grateful now toward some of the hardships that I went through. When you look back at it, it just gives you an oppertunity to learn about yourself; to learn about others and the way the world works. Hardships are often self inflicted. So if anything it’s just learning about who I am and who I want to be and who I do not want to be. It’s just about growing up.
Would you like to give any tips or inspiration?
It’s just about consistency. You have to pick and plan and be consistent. It doesn’t matter what your plan is, as long as it has some good foundation of physical health, mental health and spiritual health. Even if it’s CrossFit or lifting or body building or boot camp; whatever it is, I think it’s just about picking something that works for you and stick with it. I know Boot Camp isn’t for everyone. I wish it was. At the end of the day finding something that works and sticking with it long enough to get results. So many people just go about their life by starting a new program every two weeks, saying “But I am just not getting results.” and I am like “Dude, it’s only been two weeks. Do you know how long it took me to lose 70 pounds?”
How long did it take you?
Beginning to end it took three years. Granted I got pregnant twice in between, but it took me three years to lose that 70 pounds. It’s not going to happen over night.
After spending all this time taking other peoples measurements; when do people, on average see a difference for themselves and accept that change is occurring?
Typically eight weeks, especially for women. I call it an 8 Week Miracle. Literally nothing on the scale can change and inches may not change, but may be your clothes fit differently. For whatever reason the inches may not change, your body fat may not change, and then one day you wake up and somewhere between the bedroom and the bathroom, you realize you lost your ass. It’s like it’s just fallen off somwhere and you hop on the scale and you are down ten pounds from the night before. And you will be like “what the hell? My scale must be broken.”
So you call in a spouse or a loved one and you have them hop on the scale and it says what it always says to them, and you hop back on there and it says the same thing, “you are down 10 lbs.”
You have to trust the process, long enough. Not just “half commit.”
“Oh I am just gonna work out for eight weeks and hope that everything is going to happen. You have to have a plan. Have a plan of attack and exicute it flawlessly. Even if you have one bad day, okay, perfect; get back on the band wagon, but don’t let that one bad day or one bad meal derail you for the next six months.
So I think that is the key. Consistency. You have to be consistent, no matter what. And that goes with anything; if it’s fitness related, or business related, or if you want better relationships. What ever it is, BE CONSISTENT! STICK WITH YOUR PLAN! Things WILL change.
In summery; Knowledge, is the awareness that all action has a reaction, and Wisdom, is using that awareness to your advantage whilst utilizing all available resources.
Fit Body Boot Camp works because of the significant insight that the program lends through collaborative Wisdom and Experience.
Fit Body Boot Camp is calling out more of Cheyenne to get involved in their fitness; and during the month of May we are taking extra efforts to expose residents to the opportunity. If you have been following this blog and you are tempted to try it; COME ON DOWN! Let them know you read this blog and that it has helped you to take the first step in health and wellness; or if you are new to town and looking for a fitness community and this seems up your alley, come take a test drive.
If this article interests you and you would like to read more, check out these related blogs. And as always I appreciate “likes”, comments, suggestions and subscribers; so please feel free to interact. And remember kids, Fitness is great, but Burpees SUCK!
One of the best byproducts of attending Boot Camp, is the people you will meet, and the stories that you will hear in regard to individual fitness journeys. It takes courage to step out of an unhealthy comfort zone and into a whole new arena of health and wellness. It can be an intimidating thought, of jumping around in a class, sweating and jiggling all over the place in front of strangers.
Knowing that each member and leader started somewhere, brings a common bond and a common mission.
The great thing about boot camp is that it is the great equalizer amoungst it’s members. No matter what journey transpired that brought each member through the door, and no matter how long they have attended, it is a challenge to every level of fitness.
There is a good chance that if you contact Fit Body Boot Camp-Cheyenne, that you will talk to the friendly and effervescent Tristin Williams. You will recognize her at the gym by her lusterious red mane, her love of tye dye and her beast mode passion for lifing extraordinarily heavy weights. Tristin isn’t your average admin, and her fitness journey is a testament to her determination.
NAME: Tristin Williams
WEIGHT: 182lbs (starting weight 227lbs)
STARTING & CURRENT MEASUREMENTS:
ARMS– 15.5″ / 12.5″
CHEST– 50″ / 42″
WAIST-47.5″ / 36.5″
THIGH- 27″ / 25.25″
BODY FAT– 47% / 36.5%
FAVORITE EXERCISES– SQUATS (max 250)
DEADLIFTS (max 265)
BENCH PRESS (max 200)
Tristin has a unique story, on how she came to Fit Body Boot Camp, and if you were to superficially judge her, you may think that she is unhealthy. Tristin isn’t tall, standing at only 5 foot; and her body is apple shaped. Often times she can be seen wearing a hoodie, so it is sort of hard to imagine what she is packing under there. She may not have the mainstream media’s ideal body shape, but she has had two beautiful children and can probably dead lift the crap out of your average fitness buff.
I wanted to talk to Tristin and find out her fitness background, and her goals going forward…
May I have the pleasure to introduce you to Tristin Williams, Administrative Assistant at Fit Body Boot camp- Wearer of The TyeDye and Dominator of Heavy Lifting-
Me: So Tristin, tell me about your fitness past.
Tristin: Well my Mom, was a power lifter and a body builder, she held two State Records for years and my Dad was her trainer. So I grew up in the gym, in the daycare (which I despies to this day.) My mom would have power lifting meets, so she was always on the (restrictive) diets, and so they felt bad, and let me eat other things… Because they knew, “what kid wants to eat chicken and broccoli, every night?” So, they would let me eat unhealthy things, like Spaggeti-Ohs. Plus, I am an only child, and I am kind of spoiled. (laughter) Just, putting that out there… So they would ask me, “What do you want?” and I would say “Spaghetti-Ohs.” I LOVED Spaghetti-Ohs.
Tristin went on to explain that the summer between her 4th and 5th grades, she stayed with a cousin. Their collective summer mission was to beat Super Mario 3, which led to a stagnant summer of sitting on the couch, indoors, playing the beloved video game.
Tristin: So we just sat inside, obsessed with the Nintendo and eating chips. All Summer, doing nothing but playing video games.
I have always been “stocky”, I guess you would call it, but that is when I really gained weight. And then it just, kind of got worse.
Me: Oh, that has got to be one of the worst times to gain weight, just as your body is sort of kicking into hormones.
Tristin: So I gained weight, and between 7th and 8th grade, I worked out with my mom and we would go over to what is now Gold’s Gym, and I lost quite a bit of weight, and I maintained that for years. I was a size 9 for years, until I had (my first born) Isaac.
Tristin was able to maintain her weight from 9th grade , despite dropping her work outs; however as she became more social, one thing led to another, and she found herself gaining 60 lbs of pregnancy weight.
Tristin: Chocolate milk, was THE THING during that pregnancy. I was drinking a gallon of it a day. I was in a terribly abusive relationship , so I didn’t have the desire to self love, or to go do anything about the weight that I had gained. I was just misrable for a while; and then I got out of that relationship and just still felt I needed to lose this weight so somebody will find me attractive, ya know?
So for may be a year I lost some weight, I am not sure how much, maybe 15 or 20 lbs. And then (May 2006) I met my husband, and (laughter) we met each other and got married after about three months. And our plan was, to have a year or so to ourselves and then have a baby… well… that didn’t happen. We were married on September 12, 2006, and found out a week later that I was pregnant. (lots of laughter) My family and such thinks we just got married because of that, but it wasn’t.
So then I had Jaylenne, and I only gained 30 lbs with her, but I found out I have Gestational Diabetes, so I really watched what I ate, and cut out all the sugar and all of that. And so I lost most of all that weight, but I was still around 200 lbs at that time. I am only five foot, so 200 lbs is still, uh, not lookin’ pretty good on a five foot person.
The first six years of Jaylennes’ life, I was comfortable in my relationship; Rod loved me the way I was, and I am like “I’m fine.” I was drinking 44oz of Mountain Dew a day.
Me: Complacent comfort?
Tristin: Hmm mmm, yeah, I was eating fried food constantly, you know, fast food and all of that. Which I think my highest was around 230. The day I came and weighed I was at 227 and I couldn’t breathe. That is one of my goals on my sheet, is to be able to breathe. You could hear me breathing, just sitting here.
Me: Did you smoke cigarettes at the time?
Tristin: I did at the time, yeah. I smoked for 17 years. I was a misrable walking piece of human being, is pretty much what I was. I was happy with my marriage but I hated myself.
Tristin was then introduced to Fit Body Boot Camp, Cheyenne, by her friend Kate. Kate proceeded to share pictures of herself over the months that she had been training at FBBC. Tristin couldn’t help but ask what she was doing to get these results. Kate gave the low down on FBBC, and Tristin sat on the information for about a month, hesitant to call the number.
Tristin: I called and talked to (owner/opperator) Sara (Goossen) and asked things like “Are people going to make fun of me?” I thought of all the questions that a person who is over weight will want to know, like “Is it hard?” Then I came in, 11/9/13 and met up with Sara, and I got my measurements and something just clicked. I came in the next Monday, and I quit drinking soda, and probably haven’t been to a McDonalds since.
Me: Tell me about that first day?
Tristin: I came in kind of cocky because I had worked out before with my parents, and because they were body builders and power lifters, I thought I knew what I was doing. It was a leg day, we had some squats and push ups… the next day I was SO SORE for about a week. When Sara tells people in consultation, that some days going to the bathroom will be difficult, brushing your hair will be difficult, she isn’t kidding. It’s not a lie. I have never been so sore before in my entire life; but I pushed through, and I kept coming and I didn’t miss a day for months. My uncle died, and that day I still came to work out. Some people may use those as excuses not to come in, but I didn’t . I thought, that might be okay for you, but for me, I was like, anthing to not come in is an excuse, and I don’t want to make excuses. I just pushed through the hard times. I had three deaths in my family last year, and I pushed through all of them.
Tristin really started to evaluate her path forward after participating in the 12 Week Transformational Challenge, and was deeply inspired by Trainer Ashley Richards.
Tristin: I really wanted to pay it forward, and become a trainer. I am not a trainer, yet, but when the Admin job became open, it was perfect because I had worked as an Administrative Assistant for years. It was scary, I went from a full time job to part time. I took the risk, but I knew I was going to be helping people, and pay it forward, and eventually I will get my training certificate.
I am content where I am at right now.
My passion is powerlifting. I love to lift heavy shit! My mom is my hero, and inspiration for that. She is tiny, she is about five foot, and when she set her record she was 118 lbs.; her dead lifting record is 300. I do want to compete at least once. I love to max out, I love to see where I am at and how I am performing.
Me: Has this been benefical to your relationship?
Tristin: Oh yeah, my husband has been doing it with me since May or June 2014 and he has lost 35 lbs. I feel better about myself, he has always been great about telling me I am beautiful and that he loves me, but I love myself now, and when he says something like that, I can, more than half way believe it. Now I could see how he could say it, where as before… Yeah, it has been really good for our relationship.
Tristin takes a moment to attest to the words on one of the gym’s T-shirts which says “Fit Sex is Better than Fat Sex.” “It’s true!” She says pointing at where the shirts hang. “I can attest first hand to this.”
I ask what her biggest struggle is, and like most people who have made huge dietary changes in tandem with reaching their physical goals, she says “food.”
Tristin: I love me some chocolate! I thought it was going to be the soda, because I was drinking at least one huge 44oz of soda a day. At LEAST, one… I don’t miss soda. I don’t eat fast food anymore, except Subway, because I can control what goes on it. No burger joints, no fried foods. I gave away my fryer; I was frying chicken at least once a week; deep fried shrimp and fries. I kept the fryer for a while because my family was not on board with the healthy eating and one day I just decided to throw out the oil and give it away.
Me: What do you think your greatest advancements have been?
Tristin: Mentally, I would say it’s that I love myself now. Am I totally where I want to be? No, but I am over halfway to the goal of where I want to be. I don’t really focus on the scale because it really hasn’t moved much since September, but my pants sizes have gone down. I was in a 22 to 24 (size) pant and I am wearing an 11 now.
Me: Are you still smoking?
Tristin: My last cigarrette was June 8th last year, and then I started vaping. My thought process is that at a year, which will be this June 8th, I can slowly start giving up the vape. I am proud of myself because every other time I have tried to give up cigarettes, I couldn’t. I know it’s terrible. And I know that the vaping may not be much better, but I smoked for 17 years, and now I feel better. It’s definitely not 100 times better, but it is better than a cigarette. And I have these girls here to keep on me, and tell me to get off of it and I love them for it. I have had people on me (in my family) about it (smoking) for years. And one day I just decided I was sick of it. I hated the smell. But I am a firm believer that I had to decide that for myself. No one could make me do it.
Great advice, from a woman who has had some pretty deep lows and heavy burdens in her life.
You see, Fit Body Boot Camp is such a great enviroment because it works not only as a support system, but also like a family. Every one realizes that by coming to the table, they each bring their short comings; but they also bring their strengths. And those strengths are used to build each other up, not tear each other down.
Tristin, came to FBBC scared that she would be rediculed and shunned for her short comings and the past of mistreating herself and her body; instead she was welcomed with open arms, and she wouldn’t be the woman she is today, with out it.
Fit Body Boot Camp is so inspiring to it’s members, that it isn’t strange that they would be catalyzed to pay it forward and to assist others in feeling better; because feeling better has a holistic impact on a human. Imagine the state of paralysis an individual feels when they hate their body, and feel shameful about being in public. All of that mental/ emotional energy being consumed by fear.
However, erase that fear?
Allieviate the problem and the body, mind and soul get their energy back to focus on the bigger picture; the example we set for our children and their future impact on the world.
If you would like to make a change, a shift, or a transformation in your life, and you are ready to take a risk for the sake of your health, give Tristin Williams a call at (307)421-7387 or check out their FaceBook Page Here, or their website at http://www.fitbodybootcamp.com/cheyennefitnessbootcamp/. Help yourself by helping us reach our goal of impacting the lives of (at least) 5000 Cheyenne Residents with health and physical fitness.
Perhaps you feel how many people feel. Fitness is daunting. It can be hard to figure out where to start. Maybe you get bored with walking, and running just isn’t a possibility right now. Perhaps you watch entertainment, and see ads online, wishing you looked like the models and actors that grace our screens and pages. Perhaps you feel ashamed of your body, and have become a bit of a hermit; unwilling to show yourself in public. Perhaps you feel incredibly alone in your struggle.
We live in a society where media is saturated with unrealistic images, photoshop, and cosmetic body augmentation; sometimes it is hard to accept the natural part of having a biological system that does not conform to the examples of what we admire. And as we know that we can be our own worst critic, sometimes it is hard taking that first step into redefinition.
Fitness advertisements are unavoidable, as health and fitness have themselves become big business. Where does a newbie start?
Sit down in a quiet place and assess your goals. What can you do, to make your transition into fitness as comfortable and engaging as possible?
First, figure out what you would like your body to be able to do. Maybe to start out, you would like to be able to do a full push up, or to be able to stretch far enough to touch your toes. It doesn’t matter how small the goal may seem, when our bodies are out of shape, it takes consistent hard work to adapt and overcome.
Figure out what you need to do, to achieve that goal. How many days a week are you willing to commit to reaching your goal? As our bodies age, our metabolism slows down; making it harder to shed unwanted pounds. Bad nutrition can aid in the bodies struggle to feel good. Be honest with yourself and what you are willing to give to reach your goal.
Do your research of gyms and classes in your area. Do you like to dance? Are you curious about lifting weights? If you are completely new to fitness, find a couple of enticing options and commit to going to a class or consulting with a personal trainer to see how you can reach your fitness goals with out injury. In this day and age, there is something for everyone. If you find you get bored easily, switch things up often to keep yourself challenged and motivated.
Find an accountability group, and become accountable to yourself. This key move can assist those of us who find it hard to keep up our own motivation. It is a great way to feel involved with a group of like minded/ similarly goaled individuals. Accountability groups can have all skill levels, and the more skilled members can impart some very important insights into the fitness journey. It can be very motivating to talk to people who have triumphed over the same struggles you may be having in your current journey. The support and encouragement of accountability can be a life saver, especially when you feel down and out or like giving up.
Reframe your attitudes toward exercise. Instead of viewing fitness as a burden or a pain in the ass; look at it as a gift to yourself. Taking steps toward your health can help prevent future illness, and each and every one of us deserves a healthy existence.
Get your family and friends involved. Talk to your family and friends about their fitness goals. Make an effort to support each other by participating in activities that encourage team work. Get involved in community events that foster Health and Wellness. Get a team together and run/walk a 5k.
Push yourself a little further everyday. Time seems to be flying by so quickly, and it can feel like there just isn’t enough time in the day to fit everything in. True as it may be, it is imperative to keep the body active, to keep from later atrophy. Keep with it, your body five years in the future, will thank you. As little as 30 minutes a day of high intensity interval training can boost your metabolism for 28 hours after a work out; and that 30 minute work out CAN be the most rewarding part of your day.
Believe in yourself! Make your health a priority. If you have children, they are watching you. The example you set for yourself can have a huge impact on their future, and the future of your grand children. Encourage yourself and your family into health.
I did it! I pushed my way through my six week commitment to challenge my body and mind. I was hoping I would have some awesome before/after pictures, and measurements that would inspire you to sign up for FBBC. Alas, I am definitely “not there yet,” and I didn’t make the significant aesthetic strides I had hoped for.
This six weeks has made me question my nutrition on levels beyond the norm, as I am sure any Fitter will tell you… it’s like a science experiment and your body is the laboratory. All of us are essentially the same, until we start looking at the nitty gritty details of nutrition that make up our individual selves.
For instance, I have suffered with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome for the majority of my “womanhood.” I hadn’t much thought about it or how I could lessen the effects of PCOS through food. However, while discussing my concerns with Trainer Sara, she brought up the discussion that PCOS sufferers need to eat like a diabetic, because the sugars in foods are not being metabolized efficiently in the body, directly effecting insulin levels leading to weight gain and struggling for weight loss.
Given that I hadn’t every really identified myself with PCOS, even though I have had the diagnosis since the age of 19, I went through the standard medical rigamaroo for a few years trying various birth control pills to regulate my hormones. Despite the brand, or style of hormone regulating I tried; I continued to feel “off”
I sacked the BC after about 5 years of feeling even more miserable. I took to visualizing my cysts shrinking, which eliminated the pain I was having, but it wasn’t helping my irregular hormonal output/ assimilation.
Some of the symptoms of PCOS are lethargy; weigh gain, carb/sugar cravings, and depression.
Uncontrollable depression has been my biggest side effect. I have struggled with it for as long as I can remember. However, it is only recently while researching PCOS, that I realize the depression isn’t in my mind, it is a by product of an imbalanced system. And the systems being effected are my endocrine and reproductive systems.
The best thing I can do for myself, is to become more aware of what I put in my body that is causing these insulin spikes. Eating like a diabetic basically means saying “goodbye “to some of my favorite things to consume. Most notably, beer, whisky and wine; all of which contain phytoestrogens that mimic the bodies natural estrogen. Being PCOS means being estrogen dominate, which means the body is already over loaded with more of the hormone than it knows what to do with.
It can be frustrating to not see results as quickly as we desire, or as quickly as our peers. Surprisingly it is estimated that 1 in 10 women has PCOS, some are misdiagnosed with other issues, and some aren’t diagnosed at all. I suggest visiting a doctor and getting some blood tests if you feel that you are dealing with a bigger hormonal issue than just weight gain.
PCOS Challenge Website, has a lot of information and podcasts with doctors, naturopaths, and specialists that speak about diet and biology. There is also a forum for support with other PCOS sufferers.
By taking the 6 week Fit Body Challenge, I began a lifestyle of taking control of my body; Week 7 is the beginning of optimizing this amazing machine, I call a meat suit.
: not proud : not thinking of yourself as better than other people
: given or said in a way that shows you do not think you are better than other people
: showing that you do not think of yourself as better than other people
Day Four of Boot Camp put that word into action.
Ashley was coaching again today, and let me tell ya; to watch her, is a humbling experience. She has worked hard to make these exercises look easy and with precise form.
I will be the first to admit; sometimes I am a klutz (my name ain’t Grace for a reason), and sometimes I really struggle with hand, eye and foot coordination. Today was one of those days.
IT is a humbling experience to KNOW you look like a fool trying to figure something out. However, in my honest opinion, it is better to look like a fool while attempting hard a perfection, than it is to show off and potentially hurt yourself.
Today was jam packed (yet again) with physical activities that I do not have the strength to perform with out modification.
To watch Ashley demonstrate modifications is like watching a knife go through a soft stick of butter; effortless.
So in my head, I’m all like, “Yeah, okay, I can do that.” But in actuality, my body is all like, “What the HELL? This BURNS!”
Modifications are not for pansy asses; in fact modifications are building blocks to getting to the full expression of the desired activity. It is terribly humbling to KNOW that I am not yet strong enough to do certain things that only a few years ago, I probably would have had less trouble with.
It is humbling to know that what looks easy, isn’t always so; and that like a symphony all parts and pieces must work together in harmony to reach the desired effect. It’s humbling to literally have your ass in the air and be called out for improper form.
But, you know what? It isn’t the least bit embarrassing (for me). I KNOW, my trainers want me to be safe and to do things correctly to prevent strain and injury. In that knowing I can let the Ego rest, and just listen and follow directions.
I don’t feel cornered or embarrassed because it is probably rare for a person, who has never done something before, to be perfect on the first try. Again reminded, that everyone starts somewhere. There is no need to be ashamed by the process.
I admit, there are some things in life that I have mastered on first attempt; this is not one of them; and it makes me reflect on those times when it was me in the Master Seat. Did I gloat? Did I criticize those who weren’t up to par? No. I would offer encouragement and advice. This is a huge part of the philosophy of Cheyenne Fit Body, and this is why this program resonates with me.
Coaches are not yelling at you to tell you how horrible you are; They are however yelling at you to keep going, and to not give up. They are yelling encouragingly at you… and when you make it to an end of a session, you really feel like you accomplished something.
Even with modifications, I could feel the burn, and the burn means you are WORKING it!
If your excuse is, ” I am afraid of looking like a fool and being publicly embarrassed in front of people I barely know.” I say pshhha. That doesn’t happen here by fault of any trainer. If you are embarrassed, KNOW , that too is all in your head.
To bring this point home, on the lighter side of things; I asked what some of the Fitters greatest fears were in class. Not a single one said “fear of embarrassment.”
The most common answer, was “Farting during class.” To which one of the trainers admitted happens A LOT.
Let’s face it, gas is a totally normal part of living. Every one does it.
Part of the Fit Body Boot Camp is a dietary change; some are more sensitive to it than others. Farts happen, I like to think of it as, my butt is giggling. Farts are funny, people will use their mouths to giggle about it.
You know what would be more embarrassing than farting? Holding it in so long that you create a pathological distention of the bowel. Imagine explaining that to your friends and trainers.
Get comfortable with natural functions of the body, and you will alleviate a lot of unnecessary worry that may be tainting your pretty little brain.
Are you interested in getting back into shape, and want to do it in a safe and encouraging environment?? Live in the Cheyenne , Wyoming area? Click HERE. Want to find a boot camp in your area, or start one of your own? Click this link.
I am making a strong guess that everyone who chooses Fit Body Boot Camp for the first time, has some nervousness or anxiety going in on the first day. Actually, let’s be honest, they are probably nervous from the day they sign up until the end of the first class.
The bulk of my anxiety happened the night before. I hate nights before events, and this is certainly an Event (to Transform myself). I attempted to get to bed at a modest 9 pm. Which is hard for me on any given day. Usually I go to bed between 12 and 3 am.
My first goal was to hit the 5 am class. I wanted to get in there and get it over with because I had already spent four days wondering what exactly it would be like.
I got up at 4:10 after a restless night of “half sleep.” I had showered the night before, already picked out my clothes… breakfast was the problem. I often time, have a hard time eating food first thing when I get up, as it makes me nauseated. I wanted a shake, but felt bad about running the noisy blender so early in the morning. I ended up settling on a banana with peanut butter. (Which in retrospect was not nearly what I needed for what I was about to experience.)
I got into the gym at about a quarter to five. Night time Trainer, Ashley was there, bright eyed (except for the contact lens issues) and bushy tailed. She gave a friendly introduction and a warm welcome. There were a couple of other women there, getting themselves ready for warm up.
I wasn’t sure what to do, and as I am willing to admit; I have a hard time initiating my own introductions. So I sat on the mat doing some light stretches as more participants slipped in the door.
Finally at 4:59ish, Ashley took to the middle of the circle and began to explain todays circuit of exercises. There were four stations, each featuring two activities that would be repeated a few times. I lost count of how many sets were happening, because this class is VERY high paced.
We began with some warm up sets of stationary exercises, and then quickly moved into the stations.
Now let me tell you, the hardest part (for me); was facing myself, head on in the warm ups. In just a few short minutes, I could feel the effect of smoking cigarettes for ten years. I could tell I had lost most of my strength and endurance that I had only a short three years ago, from working on a sheep farm.
All I could think, is “oh shit, this is bad.”
I can’t tell you how many seasoned Fitters were in the class, or how many newbies; so if your excuse for NOT trying this program, is that you are afraid of people watching you…Let me tell you now; There is NO time to watch any one else. The exercises require proper form, and it is vital to pay attention to what you are doing with your own body. Ashley a, attentively walked around, adjusting those who needed assistance in form while encouraging every one to keep going.
At the second station, my body reminded me that I was not properly fueled and I started to feel nauseous and light headed. Ashley brought me an apple juice and I took a little breather. I took about a 30 second recoup and did my best at continuing.
Periodically I feel sick, and sip more juice, breathe a little and get back into motion.
I find myself having some mental frustration that I am not already good at this. Usually I can just pick up an activity for the first time, and feel confident. I understand that not everyone feels that way about themselves, and that I am a self perfectionist by nature. I have never done most of these activities before and admittedly I am out of shape.
I need to be compassionate with myself because, this is hard work. It took time to get where I am now; unhappy about my body. And in the process of being unhappy with myself, I haven’t been very compassionate with myself.
I believe that the accountability that Fit Body provides, will assist me and many others to learn to love; not just accept themselves. To feel strong enough to improve themselves in whatever way they are most inspired.
Being happy with your body is just one step in feeling confidant overall.
Imagine all the time you spent mentally hating on your body; imagine all the times you have complained about your body out loud.
Now imagine what it would be like to have all that energy back. To have the mental freedom to not constantly worry about your bodily insecurities. Sounds refreshing, right?
I don’t have any doubt, that The Fit Body Boot camp will live up to it’s claims, as long as I stay out of my own way.
It’s crazy to think we are all weightless beings dragging around meat suits. Right?
Like here we are just roaming about superficially judging ourselves and others for their bodies.
And sure, we all have our reasons.
The other day, I posted this status to my Facebook, “How many of you are willing to admit you are fatist, even though you are ashamedly aware of it?”
I got five “likes” and one very sincere response.
The sincere response was from a friend of mine who lives in the mountains. She lives an active lifestyle just out of pure necessity. Here was her very honest, and candid response through our dialog.
” I suppose the day I lose all my excess fat maybe I’ll have a leg to stand on… Ha. ”
To which I responded, ” I think it is sort of like racism, we ignore it until it is in our face. There are certain movements that are “body acceptance and appreciation” oriented and yet media is saturated by the idyllic bodies of 18 year olds. Funny that other cultures find obesity to be beautiful and a sign of wealth and virility; where as our society is pretty much disgusted by people who are not height/weight proportionate, despite the reasons, like hypothyroid, diabetes, and metabolic issues. Being “heavy” in this society is seen as a symptom of sickness, which plays in the mental health of the person with the weight. It is a lot of psychological fuckery.”
And here is where she really shares her observations not only of other humans, but of herself.
“Well overweight and obese are different to me. Overweight is pretty normal. I’m overweight, probably always will be. Obese makes me wonder how that happened. I wonder if it’s a psychical or physiological disorder. Or a mental disorder? Or laziness? Or were they raised to believe that their eating habits were normal and just fine, when clearly they are not?
I judge very fat and obese people, but only in one circumstance, really. Even though it’s only one circumstance, it’s not ok for me to judge. But I do, and here it is:
Someone walks in the door of the restaurant I am waiting tables at. A very large person. So large, perhaps, that their bottom hangs off either side of the chair struggling to withstand the weight of this person. This person orders a Coke from me, their friendly waitress. Strike 1. What are you doing? You’re making a terrible choice. “Of course!” I say with as much enthusiasm as a fucking Coke commercial. Maybe they’ve ordered a Diet. Even worse. Ouch.
You’re killing yourself. Can’t you see? I come back a few minutes later with a syrupy, dark, fizzy, delicious sodapop and place it down in front of the menu they are perusing. “Do you know what you’d like for lunch today?” I ask, knowing along which lines the answer will be.
“Yes,” this person says, “I’ll have the Bleu cheese burger and onion rings.”
Now, this Bleu cheese burger is a monstrous burger topped with Bleu cheese, bacon, onions and mushrooms. It’s delicious- and probably a thousand shitty calories with those damn delicious onion rings. See, I find myself in judgement mode for just a second here. “You’re making bad choices!!!!!!” Is what I want to yell! But of course, maybe that’s not it. Maybe this person doesn’t know why this food is no good. Plenty of places in America think that a burger is a good wholesome meal. “EAT MORE BEEF” was an actual billboard I used to drive by in Missouri when I lived there. Like somehow it’s the sweet nectar of life. Or maybe, this person struggles with their weight and decided that for one day, they were going to eat exactly what they pleased without guilt. Who am I to ruin that experience for them?
Who the fuck knows why this person is fat or if they care if they’re fat. But to answer your question, yes. I suppose I am a fatist, if that one moment when a grossly oversized and overcaloried meal is ordered out of the mouth of a fat person and I have a moment of weakness in which I forget to only love and never judge, for I have never walked in their shoes There. I admit it.”
This is a great example of the thought process we all go through in any sort of judgment that we have toward anyone; even ourselves.
We see what we see, how we see it. And we know what we know, because we learned it or heard it. Ideas and ideals can stick like glue, especially if those impressions were made in our youth.
Impressed with her answer I sent her this ; “thank you for your honesty, it’s really refreshing to hear someone be introspective about it… because it is just that one second, ya know? But just as quick as it happens we try to distract ourselves from that moment. I think you are averaged sized, not overweight. You are height weight porportionate… you have curves but gentle ones. Unless you are trying to look like a weight lifter or a body builder, you look totally appropriate for you.”
The comment was removed, but she later noted how it took her longer to write the description of her feelings and think about it, than it her initial judgments.
Let’s break this down a little…
We all judge, even though we don’t want or mean to.
We are all hypercritical of ourselves. Slightly more lenient on those we don’t despise.
Despite our natural inclination toward or against competitive nature, we are immersed in a subconsciously competitive world. A world which has no clear definition in its causation toward it’s competition; where we no longer forage for food or kill out of necessity.
We are inundated with images of some one else’s ideals for perfection, and we’ve bought what we’ve been sold.
All of this has been a long time coming.
If we choose to dig deeper into our individual reasons for fatism, we will see our own trauma.
Sure, it would be nice to have the ideal body of a perky and pert 18 year old posing on the cover of Rolling Stone or Fitness; but let us be real. We All don’t have high fashion photographers and filters; trainers, and eating disorders.
Some of us just have stress and hormonal issues, some of us are dealing with loss; self control and dysmorphia . Some of us never knew what it was to be thin, other are dealing with guilt. Some of us have had children, or sympathy weight… Our insides are tired and worn, our outsides give clues to the story.
Our meat suits define us in some way. They physically relate our internal states of being. How we feel inside is reflected back to our external perception in every conceivable way.
When a person looks like they have given up; there is a strong chance they probably have… but this place is no place for us to judge the whys and how. It is our job to see the weightless spirit that exists within that skin, and to encourage it to keep going.
It is our job to have the curiosity enough to ask and assist, especially in a place where every one is trying to make an effort. Be it the gym; the track, the trail, or just in general life.
Competition doesn’t mean pushing the other guy down. True competition only exists with yourself anyway.
I am sure this is just the “tip of the iceberg” in future posts looking at the same issue.
I encourage you to look at your own “fatist” mentalities. Really examine them and ask yourself their source. Spend longer than a few seconds on this daunting task. Ask yourself how it relates to your own body image and how you treat (or mistreat yourself.)
And next time you feel the judgment bug bite your ass, take a moment to ask where it’s roots really lie, and what you can do to confront it with compassion.
We are all hauling around meat suits as malleable as our mind and spirit.