The walls were fortress’. The arches were acoustic accouterments that swirled cells, existing as portals from one world to another. Each room an infinite expanse of healing in balance of light and shadow.
The colorful windows served to display the various vibrations that emanate from colored light. The steeples reached toward Heaven, and the exchange of energy between those points, transformed the ever existent Source illumination.
Source Illumination isn’t just a “light”. Or an “idea” – It is the electricity that powered our world and animated our Spirit.
They knew the priceless nature of Infinite Energy.
Where once we built physical structure to connect, the wiping of our history requires we reflect and remember, only to realize that we are being refined as those points of light. Those Cosmic Connections. Star Children. Descendants of Tartaria.
The choice now- is to augment inorganically, or to organically augment. They are not the same. We’ve had the tools all along. Thankfully there are those that still remember.
I don’t remember the exact year that Maggie came into my life. She was a childhood dog. I think I must have been nine or ten; My first childhood dog Pepper, was reaching up there in age and I suppose my parents thought it was a good idea to bring in another dog so the death transition wasn’t too traumatic for young children who had their mother die.
There is no way I would ever be thinking about this if it wasn’t for the here and now, and the timeless nature of things.
Okay, so, Maggie was a Brittany Spaniel my folks picked up from the local shelter. She was young and energetic… she really liked to jump up on people, which is an “unwanted behavior”. I was at an age where I had to perform chores for an allowance, and one of those chores was picking up dog shit. I would try and have fun with Maggie as I cleaned up the dog yard. One of the things I would do is try and get her to not jump up on me, that is like dog 101.
Maggie didn’t have a super long life. She died in my New Kids On the Block blanket, it was my prized possession about the time she came into our life. It seemed right she passed on in it.
I didn’t realize that I have been working with her too. I never thought of her as “my dog.” I wasn’t allowed to even if I wanted to. She was a “family dog.” Probably so that my brother and I didn’t argue about such nuance. I’ve literally been picking up animal poop in some capacity for the last 28 years. You only do that stuff for true love, and in return, a true Love will try and make that as easy on you as possible if they are aware of how you struggle with it.
Maggie knew that I thought picking up crap was horrible, but I think she also sensed my magic and imagination tied to the desire to try and make a miserable task bearable. True durability of connection.
When I was a kid, I wanted an animal of my own SO BAD! I wanted something that was my own that I loved deeply. When I finally was able to do that- the situation was so weird.
I rescued a meat rabbit from the neighbors. They had hired me to feed their animals while they were out of town and I fell for one of their rabbits. So my dad built a hutch and I was able to have this Hunny Bunny. She was reddish and had a black accent and this little bald mole spot above and to the side of her right eye. It was that spot that made me want her.
Our relationship didn’t work out. She definitely needed more attention, and she had to sleep outside in the hutch all of the time. It isn’t the way I would treat a bunny. But my parents were more about having domestic “outside” animals and rules for things like that. I wanted to cuddle with furballs.
I remember telling my dad that the rabbit was getting vicious and we needed to send it back to nature so we let her go down by a pond near our house… where I didn’t think she would last very long. And that is what we did… we gave her back to nature.
I now see Hunny in Quantum Dream Cat. So this story isn’t going to stop. If animals are here to assist us in being elevated humans, I am full on board. I am listening.
I don’t remember how I felt with Maggie passing on the couch, in my blanket. Once she started seizing, my parents made us leave.
I’ve been well acquainted with death while also dealing with it many times over my lifetime from an early age.
Claddagh was my first real experience with it all suddenly and first hand with extreme emotional attachment. Everything else has been leading up to facing that moment and knowing that “The End” is never REALLY “The END.”
Again I will say, I am so full of love right now. This is quite the experience. It is certainly meant to be shared and understood for the vastness that it is. This Truth swept beneath rugs meant to accumulate sorrows. It is hard to talk about because it is hard to conceptualize that the whole thing is one beautiful conversation with All That Is.
These gifts, despite tragic ends, are proof of that which is hard to speak.
It is Tuesday night. Journey has had two full days with me.
Here, I am going to compile a list of similarities that I have seen in her that I knew to be distinctive Claddagh traits and other interesting synchronizations that I have observed. It is like Claddagh 2.0… maybe this is what happens when you get animals near Roswell…
The first time I ever took Claddagh in the car, we mutually wanted to hold hands. On drives, we would often “hold hands.” – Journey did the same thing on her first car ride with me.
The “give me a hug” prompt- paws on my lap, “full hug” paws on shoulders.
Same gentle nature about taking treats, and transporting her “baby doll” (new stuffy.)
Played Bastille “Pompeii” and sang full volume with her and the cats and they acted like this was old news. Which it is… or was like back in June or July I was on a kick.
Her type of breed is Mountain Cur. A type of hound used to tree small animals and hunt small game. They were prized during the times of the American Settlers and are considered the original Pioneer dog. Pioneers would bring puppies by caravan, at times carrying them to the next destination. This is Journey’s litter-al story. And there is a sacrificial squirrel here, meant to taunt and teach her- that is a whole story in itself.
My uncle is fearful of pits, but an absolute lover of hounds.
Everything that I transmitted about this living situation to this dog, though my heart is playing out like it’s already been lived.
When I look at her I am 100% comforted and satisfied like being with an old friend and she treats me the same way. My bed (or ours?) is her favorite spot in the house, besides being by my side.
I know when her tail is in the proper position she is “integrated.” Tonight, she was sitting like a normal dog, tail out, and not tucked under herself. She is whipping it around like a very happy entity.
The first night Journey was here, she peed and pooped in the garage. She peed on the box of all the stuff I removed from the Malibu before taking it to salvage. The car I had as long as I had Claddagh.
She fell in love with my dad right away.
She enjoyed having a conversation with my Uncle today, in the sunshine, in the same spot Claddagh would hang out with him almost every day.
Claddagh had the cutest little underbite, Journey has the most perfect teeth I have ever seen on a dog. Almost like she had braces.
Both of them have the same intersection of “third eye kiss zone”. Claddagh’s was her black dot. Journey’s is her brindle radiation.
Claddagh knew what it was like to be spayed before ever getting pregnant, like Capricious. Journey knows what it is like to lose her litter and be spayed like Quantum. (Like I am saying, it’s Claddagh 2.0)
It took years for Claddagh to learn to be patient for the door to open, and even when she got it, at times she would be pushy. Journey steps aside and prefers to be invited in. (There is no reason this dog should have been on death row, right? Maybe that is the first place you should look for your soul animal. )
Claddagh going to the animal shelter about a month before passing and acting like a complete confident dog when I picked her up. Like “I mastered this. I can do it again.” And me making mental note of that at the time.
All the things you should absolutely not do when meeting a dog for the first time when you know nothing about them- I did confidently. I can dress this dog up and she acts like the same limp noodle I use to know. I can get in her face and I know she won’t bite it off. I can touch her paws and look into her mouth. The eyes really are the window to the Soul.
I mean, you can take it or leave it… but why would you want to, if you know that your reality is bigger and better and more amazing than you are taught to believe? Why?
I constantly talk about my dedication to Creation, all of this is confirmation of my faith and trust in the extraordinary. Extra Ordinary. There is still more to be explored.
I suffer the affliction of the heart. At times how to express it. This contract with this animal soul allows me to channel it and stay grounded. She isn’t just a “pet”.
‘Claddagh’ is the Irish wedding band. Hands holding a heart with a crown. You can show if you are taken or not by its position. It stands for “Love, Loyalty, and Friendship” the circular band is Infinity. When I finally knew what Claddagh’s name was, I was committed 100% for FOREVER past the Apocalypse. I know it sounds crazy… but look at the times we are living in.
My soul has work to do and I can’t do it without that companionship.
In December, it happened- all of the scrolling through FB pages looking for the “perfect dog” while daily breaking my own heart looking at all those fur balls that need furever homes- I finally saw her.
I knew it from her eyes. No picture of any dog spoke to me like this one did. She had recently been posted for rescue, and I wanted to be first on the list. So late that night, I filled out an application with magnanimous amounts of hope and love brewing within my soul. When I looked at this picture, I knew that I knew this dog even though she was rescued 622 miles away. Then I looked at her number. The last four digits are the same as my SSN. Weird right? Not to me- just a sign of synchronicity to come.
Over the course of the next day, my application was put into the process, but Nina (as they called her) was tagged by a rescue based in the Colorado Springs area with fosters all across the Front Range. Usually, they don’t deal with interested fosters this far North because they don’t have many connections in the area to make transports easier.
Perfect timing was that application was filled out right before Christmas and most people were entrenched in their holiday plans, making transport a bit more complicated. At first, I thought it would only be a few days before she would head my direction, but after further assessment, they realized she is not spayed and had kennel cough. They would be unwilling to do surgery until the cough was cleared up… So, my baby had to sit in quarantine for a few days until she was cleared for surgery. I was told it could be a couple of weeks.
It was fine. I was willing to be patient. Patience comes easy when you are sure it is The One. I wanted to make sure that she was healthy enough to travel and if we had to wait a little longer, then it would be worth it.
Finally last week she was cleared for transport. She would be here Sunday, January 13, 2019.
In the weeks leading up to Nina’s transport, I began a process of talking to her through my psychic centers, just like I use to with Claddagh. I told Nina about my home life, the people in it and my other pet friends. I told her about the expectations I have for a calm house life. I told her about Claddagh and how much she meant to me. I told her, that I would be her last spot. I am her Home.
Every night before falling asleep I would tell the kitteries about our new friend. And, as I drifted to slumber I would send all the healing love energy to this new but suffering companion.
Jump back to 2007, when Claddagh came into my life. I was living with friends in Gilpin, Colorado. Friends who are on a higher wavelength when it comes to spiritual discussions and how spiritual dynamics affect our reality. Friends who, themselves are animal lovers.
During one of the animal discussions, the topic of animal reincarnation was brought up because even at first I was afraid of losing Claddagh. I was already preparing for her death in my psyche. This is when my friend Lindy started talking about animal reincarnation and soul companions in the form of pets.
That we contract with the souls of animals for lessons and companionship in learning those lessons. That once we fell in love with an animal it was imparted with a Soul Personality. Given the duration of life is much shorter for an animal, their Souls are allowed to return in different bodies if the contract is still active.
I always felt like I would be with Claddagh forever and ever, amen. I certainly didn’t feel like our contract was up when I had to say “good-bye.”
In spiritual communities it is talked about that animal reincarnation can take one of three forms. The soul being born into the body; the soul “walking into” a body that is already established in the world, and Soul Braiding.
Soul Braiding is when say a dying animal Soul contracts with another animal soul that is living. They contract to share a body and a personality in order to continue the initial soul contract with the human the first animal Soul was tied to. Essentially the living animal Soul agrees to bind with the dying animal Soul and facilitate a continuation of where things left off.
Far left, right? Totally fucking Woo-woo, right?
I don’t think so.
Due to a scheduling conflict, I was unable to pick up Nina from transport and I had to arrange for someone else to bring her to me. I noticed my dad was working near Fort Collins that day, and I offered a homemade quiche for help in the matter. I asked him because the last time Claddagh disappeared, my dad arrived at the shelter before I did in order to help locate her. He also said to me “Mandie, you need to get another dog.” I figured if he was a strong advocate, then he would be of excellent assistance for uniting me with my newest friend. Plus he really likes dogs, and I think they know that about him.
Finally, around 8:20pm they walk through the door. Nina is apprehensive as all get out. Her tail curled between her back legs, even when sitting down. She was easy under my dad’s control of the thin leash. She wasn’t sure about me. She wasn’t sure of anything except that she was comfortable with my dad. Ha! The man was worried she wouldn’t like him, and now she was thinking that she was supposed to leave with him… Sorry, puppers, you are staying with me.
After my dad left, she wandered around looking for him. Going back to the front door and just standing there giving little whines.
Where did Bob go?
My pupception tells me that Soul Braiding began sometime between November of 2017 when Quantum adopted me, and March 2018 when the kittens were born. I also assume this is when the slow-growing tumor began on Claddagh’s heart. Claddagh being 100% Love, wasn’t going to leave me stranded and alone. And in fact, the cats were the best support in my mourning.
Nina, in my estimation in between 9 months and a 1.5 years old, and seems to me that she is part of the timeline. This is why the process for her to come to me, despite the distance, has perfectly aligned.
The piece of Claddagh’s Soul that is in this Nina, began to wake up on the drive with my dad. She sensed a familiarity that was safe.
After he left, I let her wander around the house and check everything out. Then she snuggled up on the sleeping bag in the garage and I read to her my Letter to my Future Dog. As I did, she stared at me. Giving me direct eye contact, which took Claddagh years to become confident enough to do. And we just stared at each other, me with tears in my eyes catalyzed by the overwhelming love and familiarity that I was feeling.
Shortly after that, she began to unfurl. Her tail still seemingly timid in its expression, was now starting to go outward, instead of under. When before she wasn’t interested in coming to me, now all of a sudden she wanted to be right by my side.
There were some tests. I kept taking her outside, hoping she would go… but it was still overwhelming her. She came back in, and I ran inside to put Gma to bed. When I came back out there was a very fresh and large pile of poop on the concrete floor. Claddagh would never make a mess on the carpet if there was an option, and that wasn’t something that I taught her, just like she would never poop on a trail.
I notice the poop, and Nina notices me notice the poop and she hunches into herself again, acting as if she will get reprehended. Instead, I got excited! It looked like really healthy poop, and I was happy to know that she was able to clear her bowels. I told her good job, cleaned up the mess and put down some enzymes so she knows that isn’t the location for that in the future. She unfurls, even more, it’s confirmed she “Is a Good Girl.” She need not worry about abuse for mistakes or accidents. Her comfort comes out in abounding waves.
We stay up until 4:30 in the morning, playing a sort of “getting to know you.” But do you know what she wants most of all? Just to be cuddled with me. When we finally went to bed, she was right there in the bed with me, like it’s been forever.
Today, she was a completely different animal from when she walked through the door. We went on a car ride, and she is perfect. We went to the feed store and she was perfect. She is observing the other animals and people, and still showing some timidness, but also a sort of excitement… she wants them to like her.
Quantum isn’t impressed with me currently and I think it’s because I relocated her and Capricious downstairs while we figure out introductions and dynamics. I think in a week everything will go into a normal routine and the kitteries can come back up to my room and we can live like the weird little family that we are.
Current things that have happened in the last less than 24 hours that give me confidence in Soul Braiding;
1. When I ask her for a hug, she puts her paws on my knees. When I say full hug, she brings her paws to my shoulders, and we give a full hug.
2. She wants to hold hands while driving.
3. Her favorite spot is right next to me, regardless.
Those three things were a daily component of living with Claddagh for almost eleven years. How is it this timid dog just walked right into that alignment without me asking her to?
The answer is The Soul Knows.
I’d like to introduce my new best friend; Journey.
The vibration of the soul, and the blood combined brings forth our flesh, in this spiritual contract we manifest in form, the features of history within us.
It’s true that they are attempting to kill off certain bloodlines. To suppress certain peoples. Those peoples feel the Truth in their own life blood. It’s required that they meet a certain range in vibration in order to be activated.
There are many yet to activated and they are being drawn in various directions in order to harvest the life force they have left while being blind to their own brilliance.
In actuality the frequency and vibration is killing off those who seek to kill off the “Natural Light.”
This is where we meet the trans-human agenda. The desire for clones and all around trans-formative manipulation geared toward infinite longevity.
Those of Natural Light in Creation know the Truth. It was contract as such. We don’t need modern technology to utilize it, once we remember it exists.
The best thing technology gave us, was the ability to reconnect instantly. The result is an archive of shared remembrance. If this medium goes away, know that your heart has an internal voice that needs no words to speak. You have internal eyes that see beyond your dreams. You have a gut that brings awareness to things that are amiss.
We are already full operating systems that have to remember how to get back to the home feed- alone. That is Heaven, or Infinity. The journey is singular at your own pace until it isn’t.
If you have been feeling something is amiss; it has been. If you feel a strange shift; it’s shifting. If you feel a calling for Higher Truth; follow it.
No one gets very far when they find themselves battling in the middle of the road. It isn’t until everyone is severely injured that those who can, will trudge forward. Our spirit does this on the daily, and yet we perpetuate it in physical reality through perpetual discord; showing a total disregard for common connection. This is true ignorance and insanity. Today that battle ends..
Welcome to the debut of the Perfect Timing Foundation. Perfect Timing isn’t a charity or a 501c3 non-profit. It’s just, Perfect Timing always has an unseen Foundation that it is built upon.
Perfect Timing is a thing that Past Me grabbed for a Time yet to be determined. And tonight Future/ Present Me/I want to welcome it to the collective experience.
What determines Perfect Timing? Perhaps it is just the moment we are aware enough to know that every moment is perfect even at its most poetically tragic. Perhaps it’s just a brief part of a sunset or the moment we fall in love. We name a Mountain a mountain in order to determine it’s lack of resemblance to what we call a Valley or the Plains. Just as an Ocean and a Stream, are not the same, they are all filled with water that exists in various states of development and health.
Today, is the perfect day. Even if it may not have been perceived by all. Something unexplained broke loose and it was experienced first hand, fully embracing the awareness of its existence. This awareness has crept out of the collective at times before, but like an animal who feels threatened at a presence it can’t see, goes on guard, becoming reactive in defense, further retreating until it is bold enough again to step out, or test the waters.
A barrier of defense was lifted tonight. Deeper levels of trust were settled. We are seeing who is in the Alliance and who is against it from the MACRO to the micro. Intrigue is in the air, and it all depends on our reactions.
Tonight is the beginning of the end of petty quarrels. Tonight is the night we begin reparations by means of bold transparency and honesty. Who feels this Perfect Timing? Who has been ready for it?
Breathe in Tomorrow. Breath out Tomorrow. When the insanity of division meets you with conflict, keep your truth and battle by the guidance of your heart for the heart is in direct connection to the soul. The soulless no longer have a chance.
This is going to be intimidating but fun. May Perfect Timing, BEGIN!
The seed of you has been planted in my heart and I felt it a good time to compose this letter of acknowledgement, for you have some perfect, medium size paws to fill.
I know you won’t be Claddagh. I know you won’t have her smell or swagger, you may even ignore my whistle because it is too close to hers. Please forgive me, I am going to be learning with you. I want you to feel confident that you are you, and you are mine in love and journey.
I need you to know that Claddagh set up a state of being in me, that will make our companionship possible. She wore the ruts of my heart, where only a dog can roam.
My desire for a dog led me to Claddagh, and her sincere companionship is what makes it bearable for me to consider a new companion. She may not have been perfect, but she was perfect for me. Lucky for you, I believe in that perfection and that souls find their connection in each other. Claddagh helped me love deeper, and you get the benefit of that depth.
I know you are out there. I know you are waiting on me and that I am waiting on you.
I will be here at these cross roads when you show up; and when you do we will both turn a new page. I can’t wait to love on you and share the journey. I can’t wait until I see you, eye to eye. Until then, I will be watching and waiting.
Be patient, Sweet Pea. I believe in perfect timing. I believe in you.
Cheers SirMadame! It’s sparked my mortal mind to write you a bit about my position. You see, I am so far from perfect despite my desire to attain such lofty spots of divinity. I know it shouldn’t, but it does bother me at times that I could sink into this mortal realm.
Admittedly I struggle with “oneupmanship” and a sincere desire to be “right” or “correct.” I mean, who am I kidding, who doesn’t want to be in “good favor” at some juncture in their life.
Given the fact that we are all an extension of You, I suppose you know this about me and it’s possible that you may have placed this specific code into the construct of my DNA when you were slipping in on the sly while my parents were getting busy that one blizzardy winter night, in front of the fire place in late 1979.
It’s weird, ya know? You know everything about me, I mean even stuff I don’t know about me, yet… and you… well, you are Everything, and it’s really hard for a human to know or even understand EVERYTHING.
At this point I don’t think I can or have surprised you, much less disappointed you. That is a nice place to be because I now understand that you know and understand me because we can not be separated. Funny how we all feel so disconnected at times, while you are there, just cultivating what we are as parts of you in your infinite expansion of IS-ness and Beingness. Oh, Creation, you are to be adored.
I wanted you to know that I have started playing your game in a new way. I have to hand it to you, the game is brilliant and confusing. No wonder it has taken so long to get to this next level. Bravo. Certainly a job well done. I know you are aware that there is a worldwide team of us trying to win the match with the tools we have acquired, and I get the sense that this pleases you because you can up the ante’ infinitely.
The consensus of my team, is that we are ready to go full throttle for the win. No slacking. This has gone on long enough and we are ready to meet our Maker, or ChessMaster or Creator…. I don’t know what you call yourself in these hip days of slang.
Our only stipulation is that we want to meet with you with proper concession in order to make sure all the rules and conduct are updated.
I’ve assembled teams to attend to corners and ends of all the needs for fulfillment on the board. The players are locked and loaded with the ancient wisdom. They’ve all been trained in the Akashic and their hearts are pure and willing.
We understand that we are not playing against you, as much as we are playing for the totality of the game.
Creation, we love you, but it’s time for GAME ON. May our upgrades be organically glorious.
Some times I have to talk, out loud, about the state of polarity in the world and this seems like a good time to do it.
There is a Matrix inspired concept of being “Red Pilled” ( you go down the rabbit hole) or “Blue Pilled” ( you live a superficial life and avoid the rabbit holes at all cost.)
I feel born “Red Pilled.”
I am at a point in my life, where even if I wanted to, I could never conform to the norm. I would risk death by being myself, and I’m not even that controversial. I think I am pretty logical about stuff, but I also have a strong spiritual foundation which influences my perception; I would say for the better.
Everyday people are being offered the red pill or the blue pill. Everyday someone takes the red pill. Every day several choose to keep taking the blue pill. The concept of perception changing, willingly is scary. It’s like choosing to take a drug that will alter your perception. It’s one thing to get drugged without consent, it is a whole different thing to accept the unknown and ride out the journey, wherever it may lead.
I don’t want to be on social media, but I keep having to reconcile the fact that I am not “allowed” to leave yet. I don’t make big marks because that isn’t the point. I am the epicenter of an undetermined radius of beings that pick up on my electric fluctuation, in turn I feel their and we create a harmonization of frequency over time and space that levels the so called “physical playing field.”
The major resonance that exists world wide is vastly different then the mood or feeling that the MSM gives you. It isn’t even close to the maps and charts dictated by polls, or analytics because the frequency being judged on a higher level, has mostly to do with the state of the mind, heart and intention plus follow through.
It also has a lot to do with our misconceptions of love and acceptance and how we play that out in the “real world.”
In my observation, most people will not take the red pill because it will flip everything on it’s head, just like Alice flipped down the White Rabbit hole. It will flip definitions, perceptions and relations to the commonly accepted flow of expectation.
What I can tell you for truth, is that anyone who is drastically polarized enough to be consider “Far______” have taken the Blue Pill and continue to.
Those who have taken the Red Pill will speak through the levels of mourning. They made a decision that would change their lives forever and lose normalcy as they know it. They won’t want to celebrate holidays. They won’t want to buy luxury vehicles or frivolous things.
Red Pillers want to pair it down. Simplify, and try and extract themselves because the reality of the construct is so disgusting that it becomes hard to deal with. Relationships become harder to maintain because it becomes near impossible to find common ground. There is no more keeping up with the Jones’. No more waiting in lines for new releases and Apple Products.
Red Pill makes you want to just get by until you die. Do what you can for those living while you are alive. Red Pill makes you attuned to the spiritual battle when once you may have denied there could be such a level of existence.
My whole early life was a push-me/pull-you of drive. And I feel so blessed to have pulverized my dreams in the ways of my youth. I am invigorated by the fact that I have deprogrammed myself into a point where nothing of this world is enough to stumble forward, toward. That may sound cryptic, but it isn’t. I have a freedom I can’t articulate, and most can’t comprehend.
Is there laundry in the afterlife?
I don’t know. And even though I hope not, if there is, I bet it smells even better than Earth Laundry.
What I want you to know, is that polarization is a choice, but that choice is perpetuated by perception. When you no longer wish to be in that polarization, you will find anyway you can to disrupt it and escape it. “IT” will always try to pull you back in, but it becomes harder to slip into once you align your mind with your heart and use your will as a backbone.
My hope for my periphery is that they are able to sift and sweep through the bullshit, in order to see what games are at play within this matrix; then be moved to remove them piece by piece individually by expanding their movement beyond their perceived physical reality.
We live in a world of infinite energy. Seriously. We keep making, and the Universe keeps providing while we tell ourselves that we are in lack and the world is over populated.
It simply isn’t true. But it’s the modern dialectic. It’s true in subsections, elevated to exposure to posture the plight of the underdog, passing penance placed to those who claim to capitulate care.
Continuing the polarization of people. Struggling to live, find balance and a leg to stand on. Pulling apart partners who praise all but one thing. Serving a conflict with reaction as a side and Solution as Dessert.
Placating those who know better by offering few options in a limitless World.
I went for a walk today, obviously sans dog. And something happened in my brain that I haven’t experienced in the decade I had walked with Claddagh. I became aware of what other people may think about me, as I walk along, alone.
When I had Claddagh, our walks were interactive. It was just her and me in the world. I have no thoughts to the perceptions of the individuals passing me in cars. They only existed as obstacles in crossing the road, completely depersonalized inside their automobiles.
Occasionally someone might hoot out at me, grabbing my attention but mostly I would choose routes of alleyways and side streets without much traffic.
It’s a pretty straight shot along a busy road to walk for a pack of smokes. Dog-less the short trip is mind-numbing. I feel the cars pass, and I become extra aware of the expression on my face, my posture, and gait. I’m in this thought and I avoid eye contact with drivers. I think about this solo jaunt and I’m sad and lonely. I am sure my face has that “melancholy far off look.”
Each and every normal thing that I do, for the first time, again- without my friend, I make note of.
“This is the first time I have put gas in my car without Claddagh.”
“This is the first time I am popping into Goodwill, real quick, without Claddagh.”
“This is the first time I am going through a Chick-fil-A drive through without Claddagh. No one told me how cute she is and if she would like a dog treat.”
“This is the first time I am walking around downtown without Claddagh, and no one strikes up a conversation about her.”
This new internal narration doesn’t make a good movie. I am having a new conversation by myself with the world around me, and I am the only one who knows the inside jokes.
I was barked at by a squirrel for a good five minutes today. Claddagh would have been amused.
When Claddagh and I would walk, I would try and see the world through her eyes and engage in that way. The only time I would suspend this reality, would be on “athletic” jaunts where I would want to keep a steady pace and an elevated heart rate; other than that we would be as lackadaisical or as excited as she wanted to be while trying to maintain a lead that wouldn’t choke her.
It was only in the last year or so, that she was beginning to walk on a leash like a well-paced partner, no pulling forward for the lead. I was really starting to appreciate that shift in her maturity, but now I just think it may have been a side effect of her heart tumor.
If you are ever deciding to get a dog, get one that is young at heart and really foster that personality trait. Much like people, they may age into later years and be mistaken for younger because of the youthful and playful nature they exude. That is precious energy to embody or be surrounded in.
Madge Midgely 